At The Movies with Bryan, the Wannabe Filmmaker

(Note: The opinions in this review are solely those of Metalman and don’t necessarily reflect those of this blog. Parental Discretion is advised. To fully appreciate the review read it in a monotone voice.) When Brain asked me to do a review for his blog, I was fairly hesitant for two reasons: 1)  My movie knowledge is fairly limited. I rarely go to the movies and only own a handful of them. I'm just a simple janitor at a grocery store, or I was a simple janitor until those f**king idiot managers promoted me to supervisor. I don't know why they did that! I sure as hell didn't ask for it. Now I'm in charge of the third shift crew and I hate them all. How I miss scrubbing and waxing the floors. It was my passion, nay my purpose in life. Every once in a while when the managers aren't around, I will take the scrubber for a little spin around the store. It's the only time I'm truly at peace.  2)    I’m not familiar with the internet or, for that m

The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini is an amazing movie! It's amazing that producers Samuel Z. Arkoff and James H. Nicholson could pull together so much talent and make such a bad movie. American International Pictures (A.I.P) is often credited for being the launching pad for many prominent actors and directors (Jack Nicholson and Francis Ford Coppola, to name a few), but it was also where many actors finished their careers as well (Karloff, Rathbone, Peter Lorre, and Buster Keaton).  Therefore, it is a real curio to see Boris Karloff and  Basil Rathbone sharing the screen with former Disney star Tommy Kirk, Nancy Sinatra, Aron Kincaid, and would be starlet Susan Hart (future wife of producer Nicholson).  Karloff at least seems to be having fun in his extended cameo, while Rathbone can never shake off his embarrassment.   The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini is a disaster of movie, but like most disasters you are compelled watch, despite your better judgement. The Ghost in the

Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger is often considered the worst out of all the Ray Harryhausen films and I whole heartedly agree. It is a film riddled with inconsistencies from the acting to the special effects. The script itself is more or less a rehash of the earlier film The 7th Voyage of Sinbad , sans any of that movie's memorable set pieces. Yet, if Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger is representative of Harryhausen at his worst, then his films are a lot better than previously believed. The biggest flaw in Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger is Patrick Wayne's incredibly stiff performance as the famous sailor. Words cannot adequately describe the sheer awfulness of Wayne's acting; it's sounds like he's reading his lines from cue cards. The filmmakers do Wayne no favor by casting him opposite such acting pros like Jane Seymour and Patrick Troughton. It's extremely jarring to see Wayne exchanging dialogue with much more talented actors; it would have actually se