Idle Hands (1999)

In the movie industry, timing is everything. In case of Idle Hands, its release date couldn’t have come a more inopportune time, April 30, 1999 – ten days after the Columbine shootings.   The movie opened to poor reviews (16% rating on Rotten Tomatoes) and an even worse box office ($4 million gross against a $25 million dollar budget).  It was nearly impossible for many critics to separate the ending of this movie from the tragedy that occurred in Colorado.  Duane Dudek of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel wasn’t alone when he wrote, “This film smacks of poor judgment and bad taste, particularly in wake of the Littleton, Colo., killings.”   However, it would be disingenuous to blame Idle Hands' piss poor box office entirely on the critics, after all, Stephen Sommer’s The Mummy was released the following weekend; Star Wars, Episode I – The Phantom Menace hit theatres shortly afterwards, May 19,1999. The reality is that Idle Hands simply didn’t stand a chance against these two juggernauts and it quickly died at the box office.
Yet, there were a few brave souls that actually stood up for the movie, even if they didn’t particularly like it.  Roger Ebert, in his two and a half star review, wrote:
After the Colorado tragedy, some commentators have wondered if movies like this aren’t partly responsible. I don’t think we have to worry about Idle Hands. Kids understand this kind of macabre comedy – which is in the ancient horror spoof tradition- and they don’t take it seriously; any viewer capable of being influenced by such silly gags would have to be deeply disturbed already.

Right on, Mr. Ebert! While it’s true that many horror fans might see Idle Hands for the gore, the fact is that we are always on the side of the main characters – most critics overlooked this fact. Not to mention, it’s kind of hard to root for an evil hand.  It’s not surprising that Idle Hands has often been compared to Sam Raimi’s masterpiece, Evil Dead II, given that their premises are fairly identical – the protagonist’s (Ash in Evil Dead II, Anton in Idle Hands) right hand gets possessed by a demon and gets loped it– however, this subgenre of horror goes back to the early days of cinema, most notably Robert Florey’s underrated The Beast With Five Fingers (1946). Director Rodman Flender was an apprentice to Roger Corman and the legendary director’s influence shows in this the movie - Idle Hands has a similar structure to two of Corman’s earlier movies, Bucket of Blood and The Little Shop of Horrors. The three movies feature a similar, down on his luck, protagonist – Walter, a social inept busboy, in Bucket of Blood, Seymour, a clumsy stock boy in The Little Shop of Horrors, and Anton, a slacker stoner in Idle Hands. They all harbor a crush on an attractive brunette – Carla in Bucket of Blood, Audrey in The Little Shop of Horrors, and Molly in Idle Hands. However, Bucket of Blood and The Little Shop of Horrors are truly cynical movies and it’s clear that Corman views his characters in a contemptuous manner; both Walter and Seymour are given the deaths they truly deserve.  Idle Hands, despite its heavy gore and high body count, is a rather sweet natured movie and Flender has genuine affection for his characters.  For instance, it is revealed early on that one of Molly’s hobbies is writing song lyrics in a notebook that Anton happens to pick up after she has dropped it. It is this hobby that initially attracts Anton to Molly (well, and the fact that she looks like Jessica Alba).  He tells his friends Pnub and Mick, “Her songs are badass, man. She’s like a poet or something.” Now, in a lesser movie Molly’s song writing would be played for laughs – there would be a close up of Molly as she reads her (terrible) lyrics out loud, while  Anton, in a reverse shot, would be biting down on his lip, trying awfully hard to contain his laughter.  Here, Anton, finally having worked up the nerve to talk to Molly, enthusiastically starts singing Molly’s lyrics back to her, which gets her to laugh.

Devon Sawa is extremely effective in the role of Anton.  Anton spends his entire day getting high and burying himself in his headphones that he is completely oblivious to the serial killer plaguing his small town (a mailman, a bar maid, and two twin brothers have been murdered). When Pnub asks Anton if he ever watches the news, Anton responds, “I hate that fucking show!” He also fails to notice that his house is covered in blood stains – his parents were murdered the previous night.   Therefore, imagine Anton’s surprise when he learns that his right hand is responsible for all these deaths.  Anton doesn’t have any real ambitions in life, his dream life would be “to lie around in bed all day and watch TV, while some hot broad brings me food.”  Anton maybe a slacker, but he does have a conscience.  After Mick has unwitting released the severed hand from the microwave Anton nuked it in, he is determined to stop it – especially learning that its main target is Molly, who is at the Halloween Dance.   Mick tries to convince him that it is no longer his responsible and that he needs some “Anton time.”  This leads to the funniest exchange in the entire movie:

Anton: No,no, no, you know what? Not this time. Okay, I’m through with that, I mean, all I do is sit around all day, veg out, I watch TV, I smoke pot…….
Mick:  No, no! No Kevin Costner speech, let’s just go.

Sawa is very good at physical comedy - my favorite bit is when Anton and his possessed hand fight over the TV remote; Anton wants to watch cartoons, but The Hand keeps turning it to horror movies.

Pnub and Mick are just as lazy as Anton  - they’re main ambition is to watch TV, eat junk food, and get high.  This ambition (or lack of) stays with them even after they return from the dead –instead of going to heaven (which they describe as “uncool” and “too far away”), they decide to remain on earth and continue their slacker existence.  Mick criticizes Anton for not having any real goals in life, but he’s isn’t exactly one to talk.  Seth Green and Elden Henson real shine in these two roles, largely because of how understated much of their delivery is.  These two characters could have easily been insufferable, but in the hands of two pros like Green and Hensen they are agreeable. The two of them are even given  a character arc - they go from being Anton's useless best friends to being his guardian angels.

Jessica Alba possibly has the toughest job in the entire movie, because Molly is the least interesting character in the entire movie - when compared to the rest of the cast.  Molly is your quintessential “girl next door” type, which means the filmmakers are more interesting in showcasing her attractiveness than giving her a genuine personality;  Molly, despite crawling through a ventilation shaft and being tied to a roof of a car, still looks like she could grace the cover of a men’s magazine.  Alba is definitely well cast in the role and is actually pretty funny at times.  My favorite Molly moment comes when Anton, after The Hand has murdered Pnub and Mick, looks for his cat in the shrubbery outside Molly’s house after The Hand has thrown it there.  The Hand rings Molly’s doorbell, much to Anton’s embarrassment, and she answers the door.  Anton looks like complete crap – his clothes are torn and covered in blood – and Molly asks Anton what he is doing there.  Anton replies that he’s looking for his cat and then adds that they got into a fight.  Molly notice Anton’s messy appearance and, without a hint of irony, says, “You got your ass kicked!”  Later on, Anton and Molly are making out on her bed, but The Hand keeps trying to strangle her, so Anton ties it to her bedpost. Molly pauses for a second, laughs, and then tells Anton that he is kinky.  How can I forget her dance scene? I’m sure there are many men who would find it sexy, but I always found it funny – Molly sways her body back and forth, while waving her arms over her head in a totally arrhythmic manner.  This is one, of a few, Jessica Alba performances that I actually like – there’s no slumming on her part; she is extremely likable as Molly.

Vivica A. Fox is a hoot as Debi, a druid priestess who drives across country in an RV, hunting down the evil that possesses Anton’s Hand (“There is evil out there and I’m going to kick its ass”).   I also like Jack Noseworthy as Anton’s metal head, and lecherous, next door neighbor, Randy.  Anton assumes that Randy is an expert on Satanism because he listens to heavy metal music.  Randy tells Anton that “Idle hands are the devil’s playground” and advises him to take up a hobby that will help occupy his time – Anton, unwisely, chooses knitting.

Rodman Flender keeps things going at an efficient pace and even adds style to the proceedings. Flender often uses match on action editing and graphic matches to link scenes together; when Debi is driving her RV, the camera tilts down to a close up of one its tires, then it cuts to the close of a shopping cart wheel - the camera tilts up to reveal that Anton is pushing the cart. Later on, there is a long shot of The (now severed) Hand crawling down the road which then slowly dissolves to a long shot of a bowling lane where Randy is hanging out with his friends.  He also begins the movie with an extremely ambitious crane shot: the camera starts on a close up of a Jack O Lantern, glides through Anton’s front lawn (littered with tacky lawn ornaments), gives us a glance of the living room window (covered in Halloween decorations), and finally settles on the bedroom window of Anton’s parents, located on the second floor.  The movie then dissolves into a close up of Anton’s mother reading the newspaper in bed. It not only does a nice job of establishing the time of the year (Halloween), but gives the audience a nice sense of the foreboding - we know something bad is going to happen to Anton's parents.

Idle Hands is the kind of movie that the phrase “acquired taste” was invented for. If your idea of good time at the movie is My Big Fat Greek Wedding, or Frozen, then I humbly suggest you keep away from Idle Hands. If you have a sick sense of humor, like me, then you will probably enjoy it! It’s definitely worth checking out and is not nearly the disaster that most critics made it out to be.

Credits

Cast:  Devon Sawa (Anton), Seth Green (Mick), Elden Henson (Pnub), Jessica Alba (Molly), Vivica  A. Fox (Debi LeCure), Jack Noseworthy (Randy), Katie Wright (Tanya), Sean Whalen (McMay), Christopher Hart (The Hand), Nicholas Sadler (Ruck), Fred Willard (Dad Tobias), Connie Ray (Mom Tobias), Timothy Stack (Principal Tidwell), Steve Van Wormer (Curtis), Kelly Monaco (Tiffany).
Director: Rodman Flender
Screenplay: Terri Hughes, Ron Milbauer.
Running Time: 92 min.