Ladies, if
a male friend confesses his feelings to you, and you to do not return them, the
best thing you can do is to tell him to “F--- off!” Do not sugar coat it, be as
blunt as possible. The worst thing you can do is tell him that you want to be
“JUST FRIENDS!” Those are the two words most young men dread to hear (they are
the ultimate kick in the nuts The only phrase that hurts more is “You’re like a
brother to me.”) This may seem harsh,
but you will be doing him a favor in the long term – he can move on with his
life and it will save you from being put in an awkward situation later on. Just
keeping him around can give him false hope that you might change your mind.
The
Time We Were Not in Love is
simultaneously a fascinating and frustrating romantic comedy that highlights
the problems of being “just friends” with the woman you are in love with. Ha
Ji-won and Lee Jin-wook star as Oh Ha-na and Choi Won, two best friends since
high school, who live next door to each other, and are both 34 years-old and
single. Oh Ha-na leads the marketing team of Tandy, a shoe company. Choi Won is an airline attendant and trains
all the new hires. Oh Ha-na still lives with her parents and younger brother while Choi
Won lives with his older cousin, Choi Mi-hyang, who is the head attendant at
the airline.
Choi Won has
been in love with Oh Ha-na for seventeen years but has never confessed his
feelings, for various reasons which I will get into later. He has settled on
being “just friends” with her. The problem is that his entire world revolves
around Oh Ha-na – his blind devotion to her has sabotaged potential
relationships with other women and career opportunities. One of those potential
relationships is Lee So-eun, a young, pretty airline attendant who takes an
instant liking to Choi Won. She throws out all the signals, but Choi Won just
shrugs her off. Initially it seems that Choi Won might give Lee So-eun a chance
– they go on a few dates together – but eventually his devotion to Oh Ha-na
gets in the way. In fact, the few times
So-eun and him go out together, he spends most of the time talking about Oh
Ha-na. This is a good example of “this happens because the script says so” logic – the
only reason Choi Won rejects Lee So-eun is because the script needs him to be
single for the story to play out. Even after Oh Ha-na gets back together with
her ex-fiancé, Cha Seo-hoo, Won still ignores Lee So-eun. It is
irritating! “I must be there for Oh
Ha-na just when she gets hurt.”
He is also
given a golden opportunity to advance his career – he is selected to do
overseas training that will likely result in a promotion. The catch – he will
be gone for two years. His immediate response after hearing the news, “What
about Oh Ha-na?” ARRRRRGHHHHHH!!! Again,
this is a golden opportunity to advance his career and since Oh Ha-na is
getting googly eyed over her ex-fiancé there is honestly no reason for Choi Won
to stay in South Korea. His cousin, Mi-hyang, even points out his moronic
behavior but he won’t listen to reason and rejects the offer. This leads to
conflicting emotions – he can’t leave Oh Ha-na because he loves her so much,
but he also can’t be with her because…uh…..reasons. In high school, he flat out
told Oh Ha-na that he would never fall in love with her, which naturally
confused the teenaged Ha-na. I initially believed that there would be one of
two reasons for this rejection – he was about to confess his feelings to Oh
Ha-na when he overheard her talking shit about him to her female friends, or it
was due to “noble stupidity.” It turned out neither was the answer – Won told
Ha-na he “would never love her” as a form of punishment. In high school, one of
his best friends, Dae-yeon, fancied Ha-na and asked Won to give her a letter. Won
agreed to deliver the letter but his jealousy got the better of him and he kept
it in his backpack. His best friend was later killed in a car accident and Won
was so consumed with guilt that, as penance, he vowed never to get romantically
involved with Ha-na. MORON!!!
One, it is
stupid of Won to spend nearly two decades punishing himself over an immature
act he did in high school. It never occurred to him that by constantly pushing away Ha-na he was also hurting her feelings. Two, it is extremely inconsiderate and
rude of Dae-yeon to use Won as his own personal delivery service. He is also taking advantage of Won's friendship with Ha-na to hook up with her. This is the logic that is at work, “If Won, Ha-na's best friend, gives her my letter, she will believe I am an alright guy.” Plus, Dae-yeon could have bypassed the middleman and just gave Ha-na the letter himself.
Personate note: When I was in college, I was
working at North Shore Cinemas, and this female customer gave me her phone
number and then asked me to give to it to my handsome co-worker. In a span of a
second, I went from being elated (“A GIRL GAVE ME HER NUMBER!” to being
completely destroyed. After she walked away, I tossed it in the garbage. I
should point out that my handsome co-worker was in a happy relationship with an
attractive girlfriend, who he later married and had kids with. The female staff
at North Shore also had the hots for my handsome male co-worker and, because
they knew I was friends with him, they would frequently walk up to me and asks
me questions about him. I would always shoot them down by saying, “He has a
girlfriend!” They would then bash his girlfriend (who they didn’t know) and say
things like, “He could do so much better!” So, I can actually relate to Won in
this scene – it always annoyed me when people tried to use me as the middleman
for their workplace romances.
This begs
the question: If the goal was to punish himself, why the hell did live next
door to Ha-na for the last seventeen years? There is the old saying “Out of
sight, out of mind.” Won could have easily moved to another part of the country
and put Ha-na out of his mind. Hell, he works at an airline, which means it
would be easy for him to transfer to another airport. Instead, he opted to live next door to the
woman he has deep feelings for (but won’t confess them) and allow his jealously
to get the better of him when he sees her with another man. He can’t be with
her, but he can’t live without her. IDIOT!!!!
Don’t listen to movies/television, there is nothing romantic about
unrequited love. It is painful!
Though, Oh
Ha-na is no better! It should be obvious to her that Won has feelings for her,
but she is either stupid or deliberately chooses to ignore them. What’s worse
is that she is totally dependent on Won - every time she encounters any
hardship, she immediately runs to him. She knows everything about Won, except
the fact that he is in love with her. In the seventeen years they have been
friends, it has never occurred to her set boundaries with Oh Ha-na. Like when
he gets involved in her love life, maybe tell him to mind his own
business.
It is
established early on that Ha-na is a poor judge of character – especially when
it comes to men. In the first episode,
Ha-na finds out that her boyfriend (and co-worker), Yoo Jo-hoon, is two-timing
her with another co-worker, Yoon Min-ji. He tells Ha-na that he is going to
marry Min-ji, because he got her pregnant. This shatters Ha-na’s world but
rather than use this as a chance of self-reflection, she almost immediately
jumps into another relationship. Won and her make a bet with each other – whomever gets married before the age of 35 owes the other one five thousand
dollars. The opportunity for both of them to find a significant other
immediately presents itself – Won meets So-eun and Ha-na finds her attracted to
an intern, Ki Sung-jae, who is nine years her junior. They even become the
subject of rumors in the workplace – Ha-na’s co-workers accuse her of seducing Sung-jae.
She invites Sung-jae to go on an overnight business trip and it looks like they
might spend the night together until Ha-na overhears him on the phone with his
mother – it turns out he was only using Ha-na to get a full-time job at the
company. Ha-na is heartbroken and then
calls up Won so he can take her home.
Won
accurately points out that she falls in love too easily – all it took for her
to fall for Sung-jae was for him to get close to her, whisper a few empty
nothings, and make the occasional chivalrous gesture (like offering her his
umbrella during a heavy rainstorm). If
she hadn’t overheard the phone call, chances are she would have slept with
Sung-jae that night. This leads to an interesting dichotomy between Ha-na and
Won – she is too trusting, and he is too cautious, both extremes lead to misery. I also find it interesting that show abandons its initial premise – the
bet between Ha-na and Won is immediately forgotten about. Again, this would be
a golden opportunity for Ha-na to take a break from dating and figure out what
she wants to do with her life, instead she decides to get back together with
her ex-fiancé, Cha Seo-hoo, the man who abandoned her three years earlier.
The Cha
Seo-hoo character is the absolute worst – he is a famous pianist, who has
return to Korea for two reasons: to play a couple of show and to get back
together with Ha-na. It turns out that Ha-na’s company is sponsoring the tour
and, since she is team leader of the marketing department, that means the two
of them will be working together. At first, Ha-na is adamant that she will not
get back together with Seo-hoo, but eventually she can’t help fall for his
charms, despite the best efforts from Won, and her female friends, to dissuade
from going down that path. She decides to give him the benefit of the doubt and
believes he is being sincere with his efforts. Cha Seo-hoo is the maestro of
gaslighting – he even manages to blame Won for him abandoning Ha-na. Seo-hoo
put Ha-na in an embarrassing situation – he failed to show up at their
engagement party and this left Ha-na feeling dejected. Won, acting as a true
friend, did his best to cheer her up. Well, it turns out that Seo-hoo did show
up to party, but he was extremely late – by the time he arrived all the other
guests have left, and the only two people remaining were Ha-na and Won. When
Seo-hoo saw Won trying to comfort Ha-na this made him jealous, and he ran away.
Yes, Seo-hoo cites Ha-na seeking comfort in Won’s arms as the reason he left.
Of course, the only reason she was seeking comfort in the first place was
because Seo-hoo failed to show up to their engagement party. Won did want any
true friend would have done in that situation. Also, if Seo-hoo was going to be
late for their engagement party, why didn’t he call Ha-na and let her know? It
is implied that the reason he was late was because he was fooling around with
his agent, Min Ji-soo. I say implied, because this plot thread is never truly
resolved – when Seo-hoo is acting up, Ji-soo threatens to reveal the real
reason he was late to his own engagement party, and that is last time we hear
about it.
Given how
I have spent the last few paragraphs dunking on the two leads, you would
probably believe that I disliked the characters and the show but, I assure you,
that is not the case. Most of my complaints are reserved for the first half of
the series, because in the second half the characters, and the show, manage to
redeem themselves. The event that triggers the change is when Won decides to take
a month’s long vacation overseas. He finally works up the courage to tell Ha-na
how he feels about her, but she basically rejects him. The timing is all wrong
– at this point in the series Ha-na has a lot on her plate – Seo-hoo has come
back in to her life and her work has been complete chaos; a project that she
had spent years working on has been taken away from her, and she is constantly
bickering with the design team, whose team leader, Hwang Bit-na, keeps spreading
rumors about Ha-na. So, it is not surprising that she is overwhelmed by Won’s
confession. Won, to his credit, realizes he has put her in an awkward situation
and then suggests they spend a month apart from each other, so they can clear
their thoughts and figure out things for themselves. When Won comes back a
month later, he learns that Ha-na has gotten back together with Seo-hoo. In one
of the oddest decisions made by the showrunners, Ha-na and Seo-hoo get back
together offscreen. I think the writers recognized their relationship wasn’t
very convincing and resorted to the good old “time jump” trope to explain Ha-na
and Seo-hoo’s reconciliation. Also, it seems the real reason Ha-na got back
together with Seo-hoo was that she was lonely and, on impulse, believed it was
better to be with Seo-hoo than be alone.
Nostalgia
also plays a role in her decision to get back together with Seo-hoo - she
openly admits that when Seo-hoo came back into her life, she could only
remember the good times they had together. Their relationship is doomed from
the beginning – Seo-hoo believes that they could pick up from where they left off
but then is shocked to learn that Ha-na is a different person. In their
previous relationship, she had a slavish devotion to Seo-hoo, this time she is
more assertive and calls him out on his bullshit. Seo-hoo constantly goes
behind Ha-na’s back – he shows up at her house and begs her parents for their
approval. He even tells him that he plans to marry Ha-na. Her parents, and her
younger brother, are less than thrilled that she got back together with
Seo-hoon, so imagine their shock when they learn he wants to marry their
daughter (after abandoning her for three years). Despite Ha-na’s insistence to
her friends that she is happy, her facial expressions and body language tell a
different story. She always looks uncomfortable around Seo-hoo, but rather than
admit that it was a mistake to get back together with him, she tries to force
herself into loving him, which makes her even more miserable. She finally comes
to her senses and breaks it off with Seo-hoo – largely because she, rightfully,
resents him trying to interfere in her life. Plus, it is apparent that she
truly loves Won – the look of joy on her face after he comes back from his month-long
vacation says it all.
Seo-hoo
resorts to one last Hail Mary to win Ha-na back – Ha-na is given the
opportunity to train in the Paris branch of Tandy for one year. This would take
her one step closer to her goal of being a global marketer. This also comes
after Won and her have officially become a couple, so she is hesitant to go,
but Won encourages her to go – as he says, the most important thing is that
they have finally revealed their feelings for each other, and they can afford
to be apart for year (after waiting seventeen years to get together). Plus, they
can always talk with each other online and, since Won works for the airline, he
will be able to visit her frequently. It seems like Ha-na is going to leave for
Paris when she learns, from Seo-hoo’s agent, that the only reason she was
considered for the Paris training is because Seo-hoo recommended her to the
company. When she confronts Seo-hoo about this, he admits it. Seo-hoo lives,
and first met Ha-na, in Paris and hoped that by separating her from Won, he
could win her back by appealing to nostalgia. Even though this is golden
opportunity, Ha-na turns it down – because this is opportunity was not earned
but given to her. She still has pride and doesn’t want handouts. This is the final nail in coffin with her
relationship with Seo-hoo.
Won returns from his vacation a changed man – he gives Ha-na her space and, even though he doesn’t approve of her dating Seo-hoo, he doesn’t try to talk her out of it, either. He realizes that scolding Ha-na will not make her change her mind – it is best she figures things out for herself. Won is a film buff and his original aspiration was to be a film director – he gave up this dream when he realized he didn’t have the talent for it (though, there is plenty of evidence that refutes his claim). Though, I did find it odd that a film buff like Won would have the poster for the 1998 remake of Psycho hanging on his wall – one of the greatest abominations in cinema history. He has other Hitchcock memorabilia hanging on his wall, so how could a film fan like him not know the difference between the poster for the original film and the 1998 remake?
Any ways,
back to the review…. In high school, Won wrote a scenario for one of his
classes that was heavily praised by his teacher. The scenario was based on his
relationship with Ha-na – it was about the first time they kissed, albeit
accidentally. The lights had gone off in the library and Won, while trying to
find Ha-na, accidentally kissed her on the lips. This made her heart flutter. Won
never finished the scenario – he ended it on a cliff hanger (“I will never love
you.”) He bumps into the teacher on a
flight and his teacher tells Won that he still has the scenario. The teacher
later dies from cancer and Won, Ha-na, and their other high school friends,
show up to pay their respects. The teacher’s son is grateful for the kindness
Won showed his father during the flight and he returns the scenario to Won – he
also gives Ha-na and the other students pictures that his father took of them
during their high school years.
Won tells
Ha-na about the scenario and she asks to read it. Meanwhile, Won is inspired to
finish the scenario and starts to write again. After she finishes reading Won’s
script, she finally understands why Won rejected her in high school. Ha-na has
always loved Won but his constant rejections left her with no choice but to
seek affection elsewhere. The two of them are FINALLY on the same wavelength
and confess their love for one another. This makes all the people around them
happy – Ha-na’s parents spent years trying to convince her to marry Won. Ha-na
was initially hesitant to get romantically involved with Won – one, she was
still getting over her break up with Seo-hoo and she needed time to sort out
her feelings. Two, if her relationship with Won fails, there is that risk of
losing her best friend. However, after reading Won’s scenario and thinking it over,
she realizes that he is the only one for her. There is even a nice pay off for
Won’s scenario – Ha-na’s younger brother, Dae-bok, comes across the scenario in
his older sister’s room and adapts it into a webtoon, and it becomes a huge
success – to the point that is being adapted into a movie.
I
mentioned before how Won believed that he didn’t have the talent to be a movie
director, but the all the visual evidence proves quite the opposite. In fact,
the reason why Dae-bok was inspired to adapt Won’s scenario into a webtoon was
because Won encouraged him to start drawing again. Dae-bok spends most of the
series living an aimless existence – he spends most of his time playing video
games and lazing about the about the house. After he falls in love with Hong
Eun-jung, who is Ha-na’s subordinate at Tandy, he is determined to change for
the better – he initially gets a job at a convenience store, but the pay isn’t
very good, and he wants to be financially secure before he marries Eun-jung.
After Won’s encouragement, he drops everything and spends days working on the
webtoon – he is so focused on the webtoon that he misses Eun-jung’s calls. After
endless hours of hard work, he emerges from his room triumphant. The webtoon
becomes a hit and he makes amends with Eun-jung, but had it not been for Won’s
encouragement, he probably would have continued working at the convenience
store.
Won is
also well liked at the airline, especially by the trainees – he is incredibly
patient with all the new hires and communicates with them in a clear, straight
forward manner. Later, he takes part in a training program in Paris and shows
that he is adept at communicating in different languages. He is able to diffuse
tensions on the airplane – an obnoxious woman passenger keeps insisting to
So-eun to let her antsy dog out of its kennel, even though it violates
regulations. The woman keeps berating So-eun and even plays the “Don’t you know
who I am?” card. So-eun is still wet behind the ears and doesn’t know what to
do – she is about the open the kennel but Won intervenes. He is able to silence
the dog by picking up the kennel and walking it around the airplane, while
talking to it softly. This pleases the woman passenger and the day is saved. At
another point, an obnoxious male passenger who insist So-eun pat his bald head
to bring down a fever but Won intervenes and tells So-eun she is need somewhere
else. He saves So-eun from an awkward situation without it devolving into a
huge scene. Later, he is invited to attend Alumni Day at his old high school.
He has a lively Q & A session with the students and offers advice and words
of encouragement. All these examples I have listed prove that Won would have
been an ideal film director – he not only knows how to give instructions, but
also how to make people feel comfortable.
There are
the usual “B” and “C” subplots that solely exist to pad the show’s running
time. The romance between Dae-bok and Eun-jung is pleasant enough. It gives
Dae-bok a nice character arc and the actress who plays Eun-jung, Bae Woo-hee,
is extremely cute. It’s not groundbreaking television but it doesn’t get in the
way of the proceedings, either. The “C” plot – the romance between Choi
Mi-hyang and Seo-hoo’s mentor, pianist Park Jong-hoon is less successful. The
problem is that Jong-hoon is introduced so late into the proceedings that he
barely registers as a character – there are multiple incidents where he popped
up on screen and I forgot who he was. Mi-hyang isn’t aware of his existence
until she sees him in concert. The two of them later bump into the street where
Mi-hyang, in a half-awake state, acts rude to him after he accidentally bumps
into her. Later that afternoon, Jong-hoon is giving out autographs to fans and
Mi-hyang shows up – he immediately recognizes her and ribs her about their
encounter earlier. He autographs her CD and writes his number on the inside of
the CD. The relationship is defined by
Jong-hoon’s devil may care attitude and Mi-hyang constantly getting annoyed
with him. These scenes might have worked if more time had been spent on
developing their relationship, but it feels contrived – the writers desperately
needed to something to do with Mi-hyang, so they introduced Jong-hoon and got
her pregnant. I like the actress who plays Mi-hyang, Jin Kyung, but she is
often let down by the material given her (she was better served in The
Innocent Man).
The show,
thankfully, avoids the mistake of waiting until the end of the very last episode
to couple up Won and Ha-na – the final two episodes are devoted entirely to Won
and Ha-na being a couple, and they are easily the two best episodes in the
entire show. They are so good that they nearly redeem the entire first half of
the series. This is because of incredibly chemistry between Ha Ji-won and Lee
Jin-wook. In fact, the ending is bittersweet to me – why did we have to endure
so many awkward episodes of Lee Seo-hoo dating Ha-na, when we could have had
more of Won and Ha-na? In my alternate
universe, Ha-na kicks Seo-hoo to the curb after Won confesses his feelings to
her, and the second half of the series centers entirely around her relationship
with Won. Along with Shin Min-ah (who I will talk about in later review) Ha
Ji-won is slowly becoming one of my favorite actresses. She has the ability to
adapt to different genres – she has acted in romantic comedies, historical
dramas, disaster spectacles, actions movies, and suspense thrillers, and never
misses a beat. She also doesn’t age; she was 37-years-old when she made this
drama but convincingly plays a teenaged Ha-na in flashbacks. I will also point
out that many of the projects she has starred in are often unworthy of her
talents, but her presence livens up the proceedings (the Charlie’s Angels knock
off, The Huntresses, is a great example of this. Though, that movie also
co-stars the equally charming Kang Ye-won).
This is
the third time that I have written about Lee Jin-wook (he also appeared in I
Need Romance 2012 and Doona). Like Ha Ji-won, he is becoming another
favorite actor of mine. Though, Won is very similar to the character he played
in I Need Romance 2012, Yoon Seok-hyun. Both characters live next to
door to lead female; have been in love with the lead female since they were
teenagers; and push away the lead female because of a stupid personal reason.
The only difference is that Seok-hyun actually dated Yeol-mae while Won keeps
his feelings hidden from Ha-na. A show that best showcases Lee Jin-wook’s
talents is the time traveling drama, Nine. It is a terrific series but
I’m hesitant to write a review because it would be the length of a novel. I also enjoyed The Time We Were Not in Love
significantly more than I Need Romance 2012; the lead characters
often make questionable decisions, but they didn’t annoy me as much as the
characters in I Need Romance 2012.
If you plan on watching The Time We Were Not in Love, I recommend you forward through the Ha-na/Seo-hoo scenes (except when she breaks up with him) and soak in all the Ha-na/Won scenes. Seo-hoo will annoy you (though, I’m sure there is a fringe element out there that ships Ha-na and Seo-hoo), while watching Won and Ha-na together will bring a smile to your face. The one downside to this show is that it might give a false sense of hope to a poor bastard who has been friend zoned by a female. He will watch the show and think, "Well, Won waited seventeen years for Ha-na and the two of them got eventually got married. If I just wait patiently by Vicki's side, I will eventually be given my turn." DON'T FALL FOR IT!!!! Once a woman has imprisoned you in the FRIEND ZONE, you will never escape it. It is extremely rare for a woman to change her mind. You have a better chance of winning the lottery than you have of a woman releasing you from the Friend Zone. If you look like Lee Jin-wook, then you might have a chance.
Cast: Ha Ji-won (Oh Ha-na), Lee Jin-wook (Choi Won), Yoon Kyun-sang (Cha Seo-hoo), Choo Soo-hyun (Lee So-eun), Jin Kyung (Choi Mi-hyang), Shin Jung-geun (Oh Jung-geun, Ha-na’s father), Seo Ju-hee (Kim Soo-mi, Ha-na’s mother), Lee Joo-seung (Oh Dae-bok, Ha-na’s younger brother), Kang Rae-yeon (Kang Na-young), Bae Woo-hee (Hong Eun-jung, Dae-bok’s girlfriend), Kim Myung-soo (Ki Sung-jae), Choi Jung-won (Joo Ho-joon, Ha-na’s two timing boyfriend), Go Won-hee (Yoon Min-ji, Ho-joon’s wife), Woo Hyun (Byun Woo-sik), Hong In-young (Hwang Bit-na), Park Doo-shik (Eun Dae-yoon), Seo Joo-hee (Kim Soo-mi), Park Tam-hee (Min Ji-soo), Lee Ah-rin (Jung Mi), Jeon Jae-hyung (Chang Soo), Park Jong-hoon (Pianist Park Jong-hoon), Choi Dae-chul (Mr. Yoon, Seo-hoo’s manager).
Director: Jo Soo-won
Writers: Jung Do-yoon, Lee Ha-na. (Based on: In Time with You by Mag Hsu)
16 episodes ~ 60 minutes
