You Only Live Twice (1967)

James Bond is one of the few characters that has transcended his literary origins to become a world wide phenomenon. You rarely hear anyone complaining about how the latest James Bond film has a desecrated Ian Fleming's original vision. The movies have taken on a life of their own.  It wasn't until my teens that I became  familiar with the world of James Bond. I vaguely remember catching bits and pieces of the Roger Moore films on television as a child, but for the most part I knew very little about the character. In 1995, my dad broke down and got us a satellite dish, Primestar was the company, and now we had access to countless channels, one of which happened to be TBS, which coincidentally was having a week long marathon of James Bond movies. I immensely enjoyed all the Bond films, but for some reason I was in absolute awe of You Only Live Twice, probably because of my immense crush on Akiko Wakabayashi, though Mie Hama is fairly attractive as well. Hey, I was SIXTEEN at the time! It was a ridiculously larger than life adventure with a villain that had a scar running down the side of his face, man eating piranhas, and a base hidden underneath a volcano. All these stuck with my through the years that when I finally purchased the video (and inevitably the DVD) I was looking forward to reliving the adventure again, well, let's just say I was less impressed with it on subsequent viewings. I still enjoy You Only Live Twice, but it's kind of amazing just how convoluted and tension free it is at times.

Granted, Bond film aren't exactly known for their scripts, practically all the Bond films are littered with plot holes; the story often takes a back seat to the action. The problem with You Only Live Twice is that its flaws are far more glaring than the previous entries in the Bond series. It’s lacking the one thing that is essentially to the Bond series…memorable villains. Donald Pleasance is memorable as Blofeld, the head of SPECTRE, but he’s only in the movie for about ten minutes, the rest of the rogue’s gallery is fairly weak, especially in comparison to the previous (and later) Bond films.  Mr. Osata is a Japanese businessman, and Blofeld’s main lackey, but he’s so horribly inept at his job that he poses absolutely no threat to James Bond.  He lacks the cunning and resourcefulness of say Goldfinger, Dr. No, Largo, and Rosa Klebb, all of whom were underlings to Blofeld (at least in the movie series).  When things (inevitably) go wrong, he gets squeamish and tries to dodge blame by pointing the finger at his secretary/interrogator Helga Brandt.

Helga Brandt is probably the one of the weakest, if not the weakest, femme fatales in Bond history, despite being played by the ravishing Karin Dor. The character, in many ways, seems to be modeled after the femme fatale from Thunderball, Fiona.  However, the main difference between the two is that Fiona was genuinely menacing and packed quite the sexual charge; the bed scene between her and Bond is genuinely sexy.
The scenes with Helga Brandt, on the other hand, are absolutely ridiculous and laughable at times, largely because the script does a horrible job of establishing the character. The first time we met her is at a meeting between Bond and Mr. Osata; she stands in the background and eyes up Bond throughout the scene.  The second time she pops up in the film, Bond has been captured and is tied up to a chair, Helga enters the room and it looks like she is going to interrogate him for some information. She grabs a surgeon’s knife and it looks like she is going to torture Bond…..BUT instead throws herself at him and two indulge in some off screen spooning.  The love scene between Fiona and Bond was genuinely a sexy moment, largely due to the onscreen chemistry between Sean Connery and Luciana Paluzzi, this love scene is just plain silly and fairly chaste, by the standards of a Bond film. It almost feels like Roald Dahl was obliged to write a femme fatale into the script, because it wouldn't be a James Bond film without one. It would explain why this movie seems to be going through the motions at times. Bond and Helga are making out, then Bond grabs the surgeon’s knife and cuts the straps off of Helga’s dress and then we fade into the next scene; even the filmmakers knew how goofy this bit was and just wanted to get it out of the way as quickly as possible.

Unfortunately, the next scene is even more ludicrous. So, after having indulged in some carnal pleasure, Bond and Helga are flying in an airplane; Helga is piloting the plane, while Bond is the passenger. Bond promises to protect her from the wrath of Osata, but she tells them that it won’t be necessary, then she hits a button that traps Bonds arms beneath a food tray on the back of her seat. She then parachutes out of the plane to leave Bond to a fiery death. However, since the film is only at the midway point, we know Bond will free himself from the tray and pilot himself to safety. This scene is executed in such a half assed manner that it’s absolutely devoid of any suspense. Hell, James Bond doesn't even break a sweat.  It begs the question, if Helga was planning to kill Bond, why wait until now? Why do it a manner that you have absolutely no control over? Helga assumes that it will go off without a hitch, but this is a clearly a resourceful man she’s dealing with, so why even risk a chance for escape? Granted, this is prevalent in almost all James Bond movies, the villain has a chance to put a bullet in Bond’s head, but instead opts for the over elaborate, drawn out death that gives him ample opportunities to escape. The difference is that the villains in other Bond films are fairly well established and, up until that point, have a reason to be over confident, every aspect of their plan seems to be falling into place. The same cannot be said of Helga Brandt, given that she has already failed to kill Bond before.  In fact, Bond has consistently evaded Osata’s men, which makes Helga’s mode of death for him all the more questionable. It’s another instance in which the movie seems content with going through motions, rather than dreaming up something genuinely original.

The third in the trifecta of unmemorable villainy is Blofeld’s bodyguard, Hans, a character that comes off as being a complete after thought.It’s almost like Roald Dahl turned in his final screenplay and then the producers asked him, “Where’s the muscle? It’s not a Bond film, unless he has fight scene with the muscle. From Russia With Love had Red Grant. Goldfinger had Oddjob. This film has no one.” So Dahl reluctantly added Hans just to appease the producers.  Hans' is a non-entity for practically the entire film that the final fight between him and Bond comes as a complete surprise. “Who is this guy?” screams the audience. “Why haven’t we seen him before?”  Well, we have, it’s just that he hasn't done anything that is remotely memorable; he just stands in the background. We never once are given a test of strength to show just how much of bad ass this guy truly is. In From Russia With Love, there’s a brief moment early in the film in which Rosa Klebb, an agent of SPECTRE, puts on a brass knuckles and punches Red Grant in the gut with all her might and he doesn't even flinch. He’s absolutely numb to pain. The audience knows he is going to pose a serious threat to Bond. Hell, he even has the upper hand on Bond aboard the Orient Express, until he allows his over confidence to get the better of him.  We don’t get that with Hans, he’s just a generic muscle bound henchman. Hell, even the final fight between him and Bond is pretty pathetic; it lasts less than thirty seconds. Bond and Hans are fighting on a bridge, underneath them are Blofeld’s man eating piranhas awaiting their next meal. He takes a swing at Bond, Bond ducks and flips him over his shoulders, sending Hans into the waiting jaws of the piranhas.

On the “good” Bond girl front, I have often wondered why the filmmakers didn't just combine Aki and Kissy Suzuki into one character, because neither of them really makes much of an impression. Both actresses, Akiko Wakabayashi (Aki) and Mie Hama (Kissy) are lovely to look at, but they’re given very little to do. Aki is Bond’s love interested for the first half, but then dies an inglorious death by being accidentally poisoned in her sleep; the poison is meant for Bond.  Bond doesn't bat so much an eye after she dies right in front of him, he just shrugs it off and goes on with his life.

 The character of Kissy is a wasted opportunity, she has the potential of being an extremely kick ass heroine, but the filmmakers pretty much sideline the character just when she starts to become interesting. She helps Bond locate Blofeld’s underground lair and then swims back to the mainland to get reinforcement. We see her brandishing a gun during the film’s climatic shoot out and she even saves Tiger Tanaka’s life, but then she gets lost in the shuffle.  Kissy’s introduction comes at the 77 minute mark of the film, thus giving the actress Mie Hama precious little time to establish the character.  She is at first distant towards Bond, unwilling to mix business with pleasure.  However, eventually Bond breaks down her defenses and they indulge in a short make out session while on the job. The total amount of screen time that elapses before Kissy capitulates to Bond's charms – five minutes.  Aki should have been omitted from the final film and Kissy should have been promoted to the main Bond girl; it would have allowed the filmmakers more time to flesh out the relationship between her and  Bond, instead she’s reduced to a lovely piece of scenery.

Kissy seems to be modeled after the most famous Bond girl, Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress), the most obvious link between the two is that the don a white bikini.  Honey makes a living collection sea shells and selling them for a profit, while Kissy dons the disguise of a diver girl, who also sells seashells for a living. In the novel, Kissy isn't an undercover agent working under Tiger Tanaka, but just a plain diver girl that falls in love with Bond.  Dr. No ends with James Bond and Honey Ryder drifting aboard a speed boat (that has run out gas) and You Only Live Twice ends with Bond and Kissy drifting aboard a raft.  In both films Bond is ready to indulge in some serious hanky panky with his gorgeous female companion only for it to be interrupted by an external force. In Dr. No, CIA agent Felix Leiter comes around in a Coast Guard boat and offers Bond a tow. In You Only Live Twice, a submarine surfaces below the raft containing Kissy and Bond.  The movie then cuts to an interior of the sub to reveal M and Miss Moneypenny  are on board. Honey Ryder is much more memorable character, despite being fairly inconsequential to the actual story line. She maybe a useless character, but there is a genuine spark between her and Bond; something that is completely lacking in his relationship with Kissy.

What is the point of Bond faking his death? It does make for a striking pre-title sequence; Bond gets gunned down while in bed, leaving the audience to wonder how he is going to get out of this one.  However, since this happens within the first five minutes of the movie, we know that Bond is alive and well, it’s just a matter of how faking his death will factor into the story. Other than the shock value of seeing Bond murdered, it really doesn't serve any narrative function; Bond blows his cover almost immediately. It would make sense if Bond faked his death and then donned this disguise of Japanese fisherman to infiltrate Blofeld’s underground lair, but this isn't case. Bond doesn't don the Japanese fisherman disguise until after he has been positively identified by Blofeld. A movie that I liken You Only Live Twice to is The Spider Woman, the seventh entry in the Universal - Sherlock Holmes series. In that film, Holmes (Basil Rathbone) fakes his death in the early going and then dons the disguise of an Indian Officer, Rajni Singh, so he can get close to Adrea Spedding, the brains behind the “pajama suicides” that has terrorized London. As Singh, Holmes frequents London’s gaming clubs, because he suspects that is where Spedding picks up her victims.  The point is Holmes fakes his death and dons a disguise so he can work in methodical manner without drawing attention to himself.  Bond, on the other hand, creates a scene just minutes after arriving in Japan that it completely negates the point of faking his death. It also doesn't help that he sticks out like a sore thumb in Japan. It makes one wonder why even have Bond fake his death in the first, considering that it gives him very little advantage.

The subplot about Bond donning this disguise of Japanese fisherman is fairly inane as well, though it’s actually one of the plot points lifted directly from the novel.  To make Bond look “Japanese,” he is given a crooked black wig, a fake tan and make up that slants his eyes. However, Bond is significantly taller than anyone else on the island, so he tries to hide this by constantly slouching over. It’s an idea that reads well, but doesn't translate to the big screen. Despite the makeover, Sean Connery still looks like Sean Connery, just with a bad tan and a horrible wig.  As the movie progresses the makeup slowly comes off that by the time Bond confronts Blofeld face to face he looks like his normal self. There’s no scene of Bond wiping off the makeup, it just magically disappears.That’s the power of cinema for you. his subplot would make much more sense if Bond would have donned this disguise of a Japanese fisherman right after he faked his death, but this development doesn't occur until the movie is nearly 2/3 over.

 Bond’s identity has already been compromised and even heavily made up he still sticks out like a sore thumb. It was around this time that Sean Connery was getting fed up with the role of James Bond and there a few scenes in which he is clearly phoning in his performance. Connery's frustration is understandable, too often Bond gets lost in narrative to make way for the latest gadgets that the screenwriters have devised.

Granted, most of these criticisms come after multiple viewings of the movie. The first time I saw You Only Live Twice, I was able to check my brain at the door and have a good time. Even with its numerous flaws and plot holes, it is still a fairly entertaining James Bond.  I especially enjoy Tetsuro Tanba’s performance as Tiger Tanaka, the head of Japanese Intelligence. Tanaka is a mirror image of Bond, they both enjoy the same vices, alcohol and women.  They finally siege of Blofeld’s underground lair is exciting and was copied in the Roger Moore film The Spy Who Love Me, also directed by Lewis Gilbert. The action scenes are first rate, especially the helicopter attack on Bond's autogyro (Little Nellie). On a pure visual level, it’s one of the most beautiful looking Bond films, largely due to the fact that it was shot by Academy Award winning cinematographer Freddie Young, who also shot Lawrence of Arabia. As a mindless action film, You Only Live Twice works rather well. Oh, I also like the theme song (sung by Nancy Sinatra) as well.

I'm probably in the minority, but I like Donald Pleasence's over the top performance as Blofeld, it's just a shame that he is given so very little screen time. Sure, he hams it up, but it's definitely welcome departure from the rather dull henchmen that we have been given prior to his arrival. There's also a nice dynamic between Connery's Bond and his Blofeld. Pleasence is a rather short man and Connery completely dominates the frame, but Blofeld is an extremely intelligent man that it never comes across as being a mismatch. In the novel, Blofeld is 6'3" with  silver hair and dons a samurai armor, he overwhelms Bond. Yet, some how he comes off as a less of threat, because his motives in the novel are fairly spotty; he has a garden of poisonous plants that has become a hot bed for suicides in Japan. In the movie, Blofeld is short, bald, and has a scar that runs down the right side of his face. He is extremely intelligent and, while his plan is thwarted, he manages to evade Bond at the end. His motive is also clear, he wants to pit the United States against the (then) USSR.

You Only Live Twice was the first Bond adaptation that completely discarded the plot of it's source material. In the novel, Bond's goal is a much more personal and straight forward one, REVENGE!
(WARNING: Spoilers for those who haven't seen nor read On Her Majesty's Secret Service). In the previous novel, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Bond and his wife of a few hours, Tracy, are driving towards their honeymoon when Blofeld drives by and machine guns their car. Bond is unscathed, but Tracy has been killed in the attack. You Only Live Twice begins with Bond in complete shambles; he drinks heavily and has botched two assignments. He is on the verge of being discharged by M, but Bond's psychiatrist steps in and insists that he be given another chance. M sends Bond to Japan on a fairly light weight mission, to get a hold of an intelligence machine that is currently in the possession of Japanese Head of Intelligence (and American Ally), Tiger Tanaka. Bond and Tanaka hit it off almost immediately and become almost inseparable. Tanaka agrees to give Bond the machine, if Bond will assassinate the sinister Dr. Shatterhand, whose garden of poisonous plants has become popular among the suicidal crowd. In a (not too) surprising turn of events, Bond discovers that Dr. Shatterhand is really Ernst Stavro Blofeld, and his main objective is revenge, pure and simple, everything else is secondary. When it was time to adapt these two novels to the screen, the filmmakers opted to flip the order around, producing You Only Live Twice first and then following it up with On Her Majesty's Secret Service. This decision ruined the causality of the novels and a new story was needed for the film adaptation of You Only Live Twice; Roald Dahl was given carte blanche to write any story he wants as long as it adhered to the Bond formula. Oddly enough, the adaptation of On Her Majesty's Secret Service is fairly faithful to the source material, thus creating a glaring continuity error in the process. Why doesn't Blofeld recognize Bond in On Her Majesty's Secret Service? By switching the order of the novels, Bond has first met Blofeld in You Only Live Twice, therefore it seems odd that he would fail to recognize his most hated adversary in the following movie. Of course, On Her Majesty's Secret Service was the first and only Bond film to star George Lazenby as 007, so maybe the new face threw off Blofeld.

Credits

Cast: Sean Connery (James Bond), Donald Pleasence (Ernst Stavro Blofeld), Mie Hama (Kissy Suzuki), Tetsuro Tanba (Tiger Tanaka), Akiko Wakabayashi (Aki), Karin Dor (Helga Brandt), Teru Shimada (Mr. Osata), Bernard Lee (M), Lois Maxwell (Miss Moneypenny), Desmond Llewelyn (Q), Charles Gray (Henderson), Tsai Chin (Ling).

Director: Lewis Gilbert
Screenplay: Roald Dahl. Based off the Ian Fleming novel.
Running Time: 116 min.