Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) With Special Guest Reviewer: Metalman

(Note: The opinions in this review are solely those of Metalman and don’t necessarily reflect those of this blog. Parental Discretion is advised. To fully appreciate the review read it in a monotone voice.)

When Brain asked me to do a review for his blog, I was fairly hesitant for two reasons:

1) My movie knowledge is fairly limited. I rarely go to the movies and only own a handful of them. I'm just a simple janitor at a grocery store, or I was a simple janitor until those f**king idiot managers promoted me to supervisor. I don't know why they did that! I sure as hell didn't ask for it. Now I'm in charge of the third shift crew and I hate them all. How I miss scrubbing and waxing the floors. It was my passion, nay my purpose in life. Every once in a while when the managers aren't around, I will take the scrubber for a little spin around the store. It's the only time I'm truly at peace. 

2)  I’m not familiar with the internet or, for that matter, computers.  The last time I went on a computer was when I played the Oregon Trail in the fifth grade. I mean, it’s been ages.  In fact, one time at work the subject of computer games came up and I asked my extremely hot 20 year-old co-worker if she ever played the Oregon Trail and she just gave me a blank stare.  It was an awkward moment. I tried to explain it to her, but she just didn't get it. What a dumb bitch! I mean, c'mon. If she wasn't hot, I wouldn't give her the time of day. Well, maybe I would. 

This didn't faze Brain in the least. He told me to write my review in long hand and he would type it up for me. He kept insisting that I share my “unique” film views with the rest of the internet. I agreed, but I made him promise not to alter a single word of my review. I didn't want him to litter it with big college words that no one understands or correct any grammar errors. He may be doing the typing, but it’s my review and I want to recognize it as such.  He agreed and we shook on it. (Editor's note: This review is only half it's original length as Metalman's handwriting was pretty incomprehensible at times.) Oh, in case you were wondering, the reason I'm called Metalman is due to my love for metal music, specifically hair metal music. I love it. It's the f**king best! I remember one time my girlfriend...er I mean landlady and I went to a Quiet Riot concert in Chicago and I got so wasted. It was so METAL!  

It was fairly easy for me to decide which movie I was going to review and that was Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Why?  Because it’s only the greatest f**king movie of all time!!!! That, and it’s one of the few titles that I actually own on VHS. No one is ever going to convince me that DVD is better. I mean, what’s not to like about Fast Times? I remember starting my first day of high school and hoping it would be everything that Fast Times was, only to be disappointed by year’s end.  I remember I set my sights on hot blonde in my class. I figured that if Mark Ratner could hook up with Stacy Hamilton, then certainly I could score with someone that was better looking. I, mean, just look at Mark Ratner for a second. 

NEEERRRRRRRDDD!!!!  And yet, he was able to hook up with an absolute hottie like Stacy. It boggles the mind. I mean, just look at her for a minute.

 Now, go back and look at the picture of Mark. See, what I'm saying? A nerd like that has no business talking to girl like that let a lone dating her. Anyways, I figured that since I was,and still am, a better looking guy than Mark  it would be a matter of days, if not hours, before I was banging this hot blonde.  So I walked up to her and was like, "Hey, bitch! Wanna have sex?" You know what she did? She kicked me in the nuts. WHAT THE HELL?! I made several other attempts at trying to get her in the sack, but she just gave me the cold shoulder.  I even formed a rock band called Unskinny Bop as a way of getting her attention . We were a Motley Crew cover band and all I can say is that we really blew people away.....all night and day. Ha Ha! Get it?  (Editor’s note:  If you didn't know already, “Unskinny Bop” is a Poison song. I kept trying to tell Metalman this, but he wouldn't listen and kept insisting that, “I know my Motley Crüe.”Apparently not, Metalman.)  We seemed to be destined for great things, we played Port Washington’s Fish Day, but that all changed when our f**king bassist left the band to go college. MORON!!!!  Where was I again? Oh yes, the review!  

Fast Times at Ridgemont High is what I wish my time at high school would have been like.  Now, I really don’t have the time nor the patience to write an entire review, so instead I will just list my favorite moments in the movie.  I may not be a movie critic, but I do know what I like.

1)  I especially like….no, love, when the ultra babe Linda Barrett takes off her red bikini top. If you have seen the movie, then you know what I'm talking about. I mean, look at her damn it. JUST LOOK.......

I can’t say I blame Brad one bit for fapping off to her. WOOOOOOW! I would have done the exact same thing. In fact, I did do the exact same thing. One time my mom actually walked in on me and  I shouted, just like Brad in the movie, "Doesn't anyone f**king knock any more?"  I actually wore out my first VHS copy of this  movie by watching this scene over and over again.  It's one of the all time great movie moments. Thank you, Phoebe Cates.  However, that David Bowie song on the soundtrack is kind of lame. 

(Editor's note: The song is "Moving In Stereo" by The Cars and it rules.) 

2) I always laugh when Spicoli orders a pizza while still in the classroom. Spicoli is my hero, I strive to be exactly like him. I mean, he's so cool. I remember I tried to copy Spicoli once by sneaking a piece of pizza from the school cafeteria into my classroom, but by the the time I got there it was all cold. Totally not worth the effort. I thought about ordering a pizza, but I didn't have a cell phone on me. LAME!!!!

3) I always cheer when Brad mouths off to the rude customer. I always lose it when he screams, "Mister, if you don't shut up I'm gonna kick one hundred percent of your ass." I wish I had such courage. Sure, it may cost Brad his job at the fast food joint but at least he went down swinging. Plus, that customer was a total ass bag.

4. (Editor's note: I could not make out what number four was. The writing  was completely illegible  Though, it did end with the sentence, "I really need a cigarette right now." Metalman can't go thirty minutes without a cigarette so it doesn't surprise me that he would write this down. As for what I could read, well, I'm quite certain that he was talking about Weird Science. This is was the most coherent part of the entire paragraph, ".....two nerds use computer..........babe."  

5. Is there a greater ending to movie than Brad taking out the mugger by throwing a hot pot of coffee in his face? I don't think so. I've seen this movie over 100 times and I always applaud this ending. It's f**king AMAZING! Even better is that Spicoli is there to witness Brad's heroism and shouts,"Awesome. Totally awesome."  I have known many people that didn't like this movie (IDIOTS) but found this ending absolutely hilarious. Need I say more. I think not.

(Editor's note: I agree with Metalman whole heartedly on this point. The ending to Fast Times at Ridgemont is, as Spicoli would put it, "Totally awesome." Special Thanks to Metalman for offering his unique perspective on an 80s classic.) 

Credits
Cast: Sean Penn (Jeff Spicoli), Jennifer Jason Leigh (Stacy Hamilton), Judge Reinhold (Brad Hamilton), Robert Romanus (Mark Domane), Brian Backer (Mark "Rat" Ratner), Phoebe Cates (Linda Barrett), Ray Walston (Mr. Hand), Scott Thomson (Arnold), Vincent Schiavelli (Mr. Vargas), Amanda Wyss (Lisa), D.W. Brown (Ron Johnson), Forrest Whitaker (Charles Jefferson), Eric Stolz (Stoner Bud), Anthony Edwards (Stoner Bud), Nicolas Cage (Brad's Bud), Stanley Davis, Jr. (Jefferson's Brother).

Director: Amy Heckerling
Screenplay: Cameron Crowe.
Running Time: 92 min. 

The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini (1966)

The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini is an amazing movie! It's amazing that producers Samuel Z. Arkoff and James H. Nicholson could pull together so much talent and make such a bad movie. American International Pictures (A.I.P) is often credited for being the launching pad for many prominent actors and directors (Jack Nicholson and Francis Ford Coppola, to name a few), but it was also where many actors finished their careers as well (Karloff, Rathbone, Peter Lorre, and Buster Keaton).  Therefore, it is a real curio to see Boris Karloff and  Basil Rathbone sharing the screen with former Disney star Tommy Kirk, Nancy Sinatra, Aron Kincaid, and would be starlet Susan Hart (future wife of producer Nicholson).  Karloff at least seems to be having fun in his extended cameo, while Rathbone can never shake off his embarrassment.  The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini is a disaster of movie, but like most disasters you are compelled watch, despite your better judgement.

The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini is often considered to be the last of the A.I.P Beach movies, but I think a more accurate description would be that it was a failed attempt at trying to reinvent the formula. The beach setting had out lived its usefulness, so the most logical thing was to take the party on the road. In Ski Party, our gang of lovable beach bums relocated to the slopes of Denver. In Ghost in the Invisible Bikini, the party is moved to a......haunted house. This was not the first attempt by A.I.P to meld the beach movie and horror genres; in 1965 they released Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine, which had Vincent Price co-starring with beach movie regulars Frankie Avalon and Dwayne Hickman.  It's interesting to note that Karloff, Price, and Peter Lorre all had cameos in the first three beach movies; Priced played a beatnik poet (Beach Party), Lorre, the owner of a gym(Muscle Beach Party) and Karloff, an art critic (Bikini Beach).

Not only is there a change a scenery, but a change in the cast as well. It is apparent that A.I.P was hoping that a different cast of characters would breathe life into the tired formula; the only returning character is Harvey Lembeck's dimwitted motorcyclist, Eric Von Zipper. Tommy Kirk and Deborah Walley are given the Frankie and Annette roles, while Aron Kincaid is given the role of the dopey party goer; a role usually reserved for Jody McCrea. The problem is that there really isn't a central character that the audience can relate to. Who is the main character in The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini?  In theory, Chuck (Tommy Kirk) should be the main character, but he is off screen for significant portions of the film and often takes a backseat to  Bobby's (Aron Kincaid) histrionics. The previous films centered around Frankie and Annette's often turbulent relationship; you may not necessarily like the characters, but at least there was a solid framework to hang the story on. The budding romance between Chuck and Lili (Deborah Walley) seems like an afterthought on the part of the filmmakers. When Lili first meets Chuck she is a bit apprehensive towards him, but changes her tune at the flip of a switch. Chuck and Lili's romance should be the heart of the film, but the film makers abandon it to make way for nonstop rock n' roll numbers and "hilarious" slapstick comedy. Walley isn't really given much to do, except play the damsel in distress at the film's climax.

The same flaw applies towards the Bobby/ Vicki story line. Vicki (Nancy Sinatra), for some inexplicable reason, hopes to spark a romance with Bobby, but he has wandering eyes. This nearly costs Bobby his life as the woman he keeps drooling over, Sinistra, is a would be a murderer. Luckily for him, her eye sight is extremely poor and instead of offing him, she ends up destroying a knight's armor and a bust of Julius Caesar.  This subplot takes up the entire midsection the film, only to be forgotten in the last half hour. This is a recurring theme in  The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini, a character or story line will be introduced, only to be discarded later on. It is an extremely overcrowded film. Other than continuity, why bring back Eric Von Zipper? He doesn't really add anything to the proceedings. In the previous films he was the main villain, or at least tried to be, in this film he is a helpless bystander.

If IMDB and Wikipedia are correct, then the scenes with Karloff and Susan Hart were added after principle photography had finished, thus adding more unnecessary characters into the mix. Boris Karloff plays a Hiram Stokely, a recently deceased carnival man who has 24 hours to do one good deed if he wants to enter heaven. The catch is that he must do it from the confines of his crypt, so he sends down Cecily (the title character) to make sure his heirs (Chuck, Lili, and the eccentric Myrtle Forbush) get their rightful share of his fortune. His shady lawyer, Reginald Ripper (Basil Rathbone), hopes to scare away Hiram's beneficiaries, so he can keep the inheritance for himself. This is the movie's plot, but again, the film doesn't treat this story line with any real sense of urgency. Even worse is the fact that Cecily, despite being a ghost and being able to go unobserved, is pretty useless for the most part. She, on occasion, will play practical jokes on Ripper, but she rarely lifts a finger to help the protagonists; at least for the first 75 minutes of the movie. Cecily will often pop into frame (she is tinted blue for a ghostly effect), mug it up for a few seconds, and then promptly disappear.

At the film's climax, when Lili is in danger of being cut in half by a buzz saw (while tied to a log), Cecily stands in the corner and screams at Chuck to save her. Why doesn't Cecily stop the buzz saw herself?  She does dispose of Reginald Ripper by jamming his gun with her finger, but that could have easily been avoided had she acted a lot sooner.  The filmmakers try to imply that she is influencing the movement of the characters by having her whisper stuff in their ears; at one point she pops into frame and tells Vicki to wear a bikini, because it will get Bobby's attention. This idea never comes off as well as it should, mainly due to the poor execution of the gag;  a character will often be in mid sentence when the film suddenly freezes, just then Cecily materializes into frame and whispers something into his/her ear. After having dispensed her advice, Cecily abruptly disappears, the film resumes, and the character will repeat what Cecily just said. It happens a couple of times throughout the film, but it's only real function is to make Susan Hart's role seem bigger than it actually is.

The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini is a complete mess of a film, but it's a beautiful mess; the cinematography by Stanley Cortez is extremely first rate. It's a shame that his talents were wasted on an extremely silly film like this.  He creates a genuinely spooky atmosphere, especially during Sinistra's musical number in which she seemingly melts into the shadows. The musical numbers themselves are pretty forgettable, though I do have a soft spot for the song "Geronimo," performed by Nancy Sinatra. It's not a great song, but it is rather catchy. Plus, forgettable rock n' roll songs were a staple in the beach movies, so why should The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini prove to be the exception?

Other things I like about The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini:

1) The double act of Tommy Kirk and Aron Kincaid is fairly funny at times; Kirk is such a bland actor that he perfectly balances out Kincaid's over zealous performance. The problem is that the film only pairs them together for a few scenes, thus wasting a potentially funny comedy team. Their scenes together play like a mini-remake of the wax museum scene in Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein; Kincaid is the scaredy cat, while Kirk tries to be the voice of reason. However, just Lou Costello in the earlier film, Kincaid's fears are justified. I rather like Aron Kincaid, he's a fairly energetic and fun performer to watch. He also later voiced Killer Croc on Batman: The Animated Series; that alone makes him awesome.

2) The opening scene with Hiram and Cecily is fairly amusing and often funny, especially when she drops the bomb that he is dead. Karloff is pretty adept at comedy, so is Susan Hart for that matter (she is genuinely funny in Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine as the bikini clad fembot). There's great interplay between the two actors that it's a shame that it amounts to very little as this scene is pretty disconnected from rest of the movie.

Interesting piece of trivia: the opening shot of the film (of Cecily in a red hood walking through a cemetery) was lifted from the Vincent  Price/ Roger Corman thriller The Haunted Palace. A.I.P was known for it's an extreme cheapness and would often lift footage from their previous films to pad out the running time of their latest release.

3) Nancy Sinatra is by no means a good actress, but she has a likable screen presence. You almost  care about the plight of Vicki....I say almost, because the character completely vanishes in the movie's second half. Though, she is in the final shot of the film; her and Bobby are dancing and having a groovy time, when all of a sudden Cecily materializes into frame. Bobby goes in for a kiss, but Cecily disappears. Bobby and Vicki shrug if off and resume their dancing. Fade to black. The end.

4) The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini maybe one of the earliest postmodern films in that the characters are constantly acknowledging the fact that they are in a movie. In one scene, Eric Von Zipper and his gang spot Reginald Ripper entering a secret passage and Zipper remarks that he looks like "Sherlock Holmes." The movie film will often cut back to Karloff commenting on the action as if he is a member of the audience; he's watching events unfold from a crystal ball inside his crypt.

There a plenty of amusing moments in the movie, but for every good idea there are, at least, two bad ones. It's an extremely disjointed picture that could have been easily improved in the editing room, or if they had taken the time to rewrite the script. Instead of adding more characters, they should have written a few out of the script. Buster Keaton was originally slated to played Chief Chicken Father, but, sadly, passed away before filming began. The filmmakers, rather than write out the character, decided to recast the role with
Benny Rubin and let's just say he doesn't hold a candle to the Great Stone Face.

Credits
Cast:  Boris Karloff (Hiram Stokely - The Corpse), Susan Hart (Cecily - The Ghost), Tommy Kirk (Chuck Phillips), Aron Kincaid (Bobby), Basil Rathbone (Reginald Ripper), Deborah Walley (Lili Morton), Nancy Sinatra (Vicki), Patsy Kelly (Myrtle Forbush), Harvey Lembeck (Eric Von Zipper), Jesse White (J. Sinister Hulk), Quinn O' Hara (Sinistra), Bobbi Shaw (Princess Yolanda), Benny Rubin (Chicken Feather), Francis X. Bushman (Malcolm), Piccola Pupa (Herself), Andy Romano (J.D.), Albert Nelson (Puss), Myrna Ross (Boots), The Bobby Fuller Four (themselves).

Director: Don Weis
Screenplay: Louis M. Heyward, Elwood Ullman.
Running Time: 83 min.

Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger (1977)

Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger is often considered the worst out of all the Ray Harryhausen films and I whole heartedly agree. It is a film riddled with inconsistencies from the acting to the special effects. The script itself is more or less a rehash of the earlier film The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, sans any of that movie's memorable set pieces. Yet, if Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger is representative of Harryhausen at his worst, then his films are a lot better than previously believed.

The biggest flaw in Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger is Patrick Wayne's incredibly stiff performance as the famous sailor. Words cannot adequately describe the sheer awfulness of Wayne's acting; it's sounds like he's reading his lines from cue cards. The filmmakers do Wayne no favor by casting him opposite such acting pros like Jane Seymour and Patrick Troughton. It's extremely jarring to see Wayne exchanging dialogue with much more talented actors; it would have actually served the film better to cast lesser actors in supporting roles, because it would have greatly disguised Wayne's limited acting abilities.

The two previous films, The 7th Voyage of Sinbad and The Golden Voyage of Sinbad, weren't exactly acting tour de forces, but both Kerwin Matthews and John Phillip Law were fairly likable as Sinbad. They also were fairly energetic leading men and, more importantly, had great screen presence. They may have given one note performances, but it was the right note. Wayne's Sinbad is not only wooden, but fairly passive as well; to the point that he often seems to disappear from the narrative, while all the other actors take center stage.

It also seems that the filmmakers were content with rehashing the plot from The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, albeit with  a few variations. In the 7th Voyage, Sinbad must voyage to the island of an evil sorcerer to restore his love, princess Parisa, to her normal size; she has been shrunken to the size of an action figure.  In Eye of the Tiger, Sinbad must journey to a far away land to restore a prince (who happens to be the brother of Farah, his love interest) to his original form; he has been transformed into a baboon by the evil witch Zenobia. An air of familiarity hangs over the proceedings. This wouldn't be a problem if there were a few eye popping set pieces to divert our attention, but sadly, the special effects in Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger are fairly forgettable, especially when compared to the previous movies.In The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, we were given such jaw dropping sequences like the Cyclops menacing Sinbad's men and the duel with the Skeleton.In Golden Voyage of Sinbad, there was the masthead of Sinbad's ship coming to life and the battle with the six armed statue of Kali. 

Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger is loaded with special effects, but they're more likely to produce shrugs of indifference rather than enthusiastic cheers. The fight with a giant walrus should be a exciting, but it is completely incomprehensible due to the snow that was optically added into the foreground. A battle with ant-like monsters should be fun, but it's hard to see what's happening, because it occurs at night time. The Troglodyte that Sinbad and company befriend should be charming, but it is completely lacking in personality, which is surprising for a Ray Harryhausen creation; it sort of just meanders about before it comes to an untimely end. The coolest, and most menacing creature is the Minaton, a bronze mechanical monster that resembles a Minotaur. However, it is essentially a walking prop. When we first see it, we think, "Uh-oh!" It's only certain that this clockwork creation is going to pose a serious threat to our protagonists. How will Sinbad and company get out of this one? When the Troglodyte appears, we shout, "Eureka!" Trog and the Minaton will duke it out and Trog will come out victorious. Sadly, no such battle occurs. In fact, our heroes never encounter the Minaton; it comes to rather inglorious end when it falls off a ledge and gets crushed by a block of stone that it was removing for Zenobia. Otherwise, it spends most of it's screen time rowing Zenobia and her son, Rafi, to their destination. 

(Warning to the any feminists reading this review, the next few sentences are going to be me drooling over Jane Seymour. Sorry!) In fact, the most memorable thing about Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger, at least for me and many other males (maybe even a few females) is Jane Seymour strutting her stuff in a bedlah. I hate to admit it (actually I don't), but whenever she is onscreen my eyes gravitate toward her, regardless of the action transpiring in the foreground; Sinbad and company could be battling a group of Cyclops with laser shooting out their eyes and yet my undivided attention would be on Seymour, standing in the background, in her skimpy outfit.  I know...I know..pathetic! On a side note: Jane Seymour is probably my favorite Bond girl, despite being in one of my least favorite Bond films, Live and Let Die. 

It is to Seymour's credit that she is able inject some personality into a horribly underwritten role; unlike Wayne, she's able to deliver her lines in a naturalistic manner. Her character, princess Farah, starts off promising; she actually threatens to kill Zenobia with a dagger. She is ready to go through with it before Sinbad and her uncle intervene. Her uncle states that killing Zenobia would put a curse on their kingdom.  Of course, this doesn't make any sense as Zenobia already cursed their kingdom by turning Kassim into a baboon. However, if Farah killed Zenobia, then there would be no movie. Damn it! Why did Sinbad have to intervene? The film would be fifteen minutes long and hailed as a classic. It's actually a jarring moment given how feeble Farah was up until this point in the story. You expect her to cower and whimper as Zenobia chews the scenery, instead she brandishes a knife and dominates the scene. 

Sadly, as the film progresses Farah's role diminishes and she's reduced to an attractive piece of scenery; as demonstrated by her nude scene (in a G-rated film). Granted, all of Farah's bits and pieces are covered up, but it's still jarring to see such casual nudity in a family film. The filmmakers were probably hoping it would keep the dads in the audience from falling asleep. However, despite her eye candy status, Farah is still infinitely more interesting than Sinbad, which makes it kind of tragic that she is betrothed to such a dullard. Sinbad definitely gets the better end of the deal. 

While Jane Seymour is easy on the eyes, the best thing about Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger is Patrick Troughton as the alchemist Melanthius. Troughton nearly salvages this movie by adding a much needed sense of fun to the proceedings. As mentioned before, Patrick Wayne is a complete stiff, so it really falls on Troughton's shoulders to bear the burden of the load and he nearly pulls off a miracle. Unfortunately, the flaws are so numerous that even Troughton's spirited performance can't overcome them. He brings a lot of humor and warmth to the role of Melanthius; the film's best moment is his child like joy at the thought of traveling with Sinbad to the land of Arimaspi. He has heard about it all his life and now he finally has a chance to see it first hand. It's a nice moment that aptly demonstrates what a talented actor can do with even the lousiest of dialogue; Troughton makes it sound credible. 

Taryn Power is pretty, but forgettable as Melanthius' telepathic daughter, Dione. Her main function in the story is that she gets the Trog to show them where the magical pyramid of Arismaspi is located. That's about it. Otherwise, she melts in the shadows for the majority of the film. Sorry, Taryn. Margaret Whiting's performance as Zenobia is so bad to the point that it is enjoyable. She screams, bugs out her eyes, and does all sorts of body spasms to convey that she is evil. Hell, at least she is giving it her all, as opposed to just going through the motions. Her scenery chewing is certainly preferable to Patrick Wayne's disappearing act. Zenobia's motivation for transforming Kassim into a baboon is so her worthless son, Rafi, can be crowned Caliph. Wouldn't it just be simpler to murder the guy? She has all sorts of magical powers and foresight, yet it never occurs to her that the spell can be undone. 

This also brings up the second biggest flaw in Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger: the audience doesn't really care about Kassim's plight. In the 7th Voyage of Sinbad, we get to know Parissa before she gets miniaturized by the evil magician, Sokurah, hence we care what happens to her. She's a likable character and we desperately want to see her restored to her normal size. In Eye of the Tiger, we never get to know Kassim; his transformation happens in the opening seconds of the film. We are told good things about him (Sinbad claims he owes him life), but we are never given any visual evidence to back up these claims. He is a stranger to us and remains a stranger, so it's really hard to get involved in the story line. The only reason the audience wants to him restored to his normal form, at least theoretically, is so that Sinbad and Farah can live happily ever after. Farah, for some unknown reason, loves Sinbad, but she won't even think of marrying him until her brother is back to his original state. It should be Kassim in baboon form (done by stop motion animation) is far more lively than he is human form. The actor, Damien Thomas, is a handsome fellow, but is given nothing to do. While the baboon animation is less than convincing, it's actually the one special effect that manages to elicit tears and laughter from the audience, because Harryhausen is able to invest it with some personality. The scene in which the baboon Kassim sees his reflection in a mirror is absolutely heart breaking. In fact, Kassim is far more likable as baboon than he is as a human. OOPS!!!! 

As much as I complain about this movie, I still rather enjoy it. It's not a good movie, but the sincere performance of Patrick Troughton and a hilariously over the top Margaret Whiting, not to mention a scantily clad Jane Seymour, make it watchable. While Ray Harryhausen's special effects are lackluster for the most part, there a couple of effective moments scattered throughout the movie; the fight between Trog and the saber tooth tiger is fun, if not particularly awe inspiring. 

Credits

Cast: Patrick Wayne (Sinbad), Jane Seymour (Farah), Taryn Power (Dione), Patrick Troughton (Melanthius), Margaret Whiting (Zenobia), Kurt Christian (Rafi), Nadim Sawalah (Hassam), Damien Thomas (Kassim).

Director: Sam Wanamaker
Screenplay: Beverley Cross.  Story by: Beverley Cross and Ray Harryhausen.
Running Time: 113 min.