Idle Hands (1999)

In the movie industry, timing is everything. In case of Idle Hands, its release date couldn’t have come a more inopportune time, April 30, 1999 – ten days after the Columbine shootings.   The movie opened to poor reviews (16% rating on Rotten Tomatoes) and an even worse box office ($4 million gross against a $25 million dollar budget).  It was nearly impossible for many critics to separate the ending of this movie from the tragedy that occurred in Colorado.  Duane Dudek of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel wasn’t alone when he wrote, “This film smacks of poor judgment and bad taste, particularly in wake of the Littleton, Colo., killings.”   However, it would be disingenuous to blame Idle Hands' piss poor box office entirely on the critics, after all, Stephen Sommer’s The Mummy was released the following weekend; Star Wars, Episode I – The Phantom Menace hit theatres shortly afterwards, May 19,1999. The reality is that Idle Hands simply didn’t stand a chance against these two juggernauts and it quickly died at the box office.
Yet, there were a few brave souls that actually stood up for the movie, even if they didn’t particularly like it.  Roger Ebert, in his two and a half star review, wrote:
After the Colorado tragedy, some commentators have wondered if movies like this aren’t partly responsible. I don’t think we have to worry about Idle Hands. Kids understand this kind of macabre comedy – which is in the ancient horror spoof tradition- and they don’t take it seriously; any viewer capable of being influenced by such silly gags would have to be deeply disturbed already.

Right on, Mr. Ebert! While it’s true that many horror fans might see Idle Hands for the gore, the fact is that we are always on the side of the main characters – most critics overlooked this fact. Not to mention, it’s kind of hard to root for an evil hand.  It’s not surprising that Idle Hands has often been compared to Sam Raimi’s masterpiece, Evil Dead II, given that their premises are fairly identical – the protagonist’s (Ash in Evil Dead II, Anton in Idle Hands) right hand gets possessed by a demon and gets loped it– however, this subgenre of horror goes back to the early days of cinema, most notably Robert Florey’s underrated The Beast With Five Fingers (1946). Director Rodman Flender was an apprentice to Roger Corman and the legendary director’s influence shows in this the movie - Idle Hands has a similar structure to two of Corman’s earlier movies, Bucket of Blood and The Little Shop of Horrors. The three movies feature a similar, down on his luck, protagonist – Walter, a social inept busboy, in Bucket of Blood, Seymour, a clumsy stock boy in The Little Shop of Horrors, and Anton, a slacker stoner in Idle Hands. They all harbor a crush on an attractive brunette – Carla in Bucket of Blood, Audrey in The Little Shop of Horrors, and Molly in Idle Hands. However, Bucket of Blood and The Little Shop of Horrors are truly cynical movies and it’s clear that Corman views his characters in a contemptuous manner; both Walter and Seymour are given the deaths they truly deserve.  Idle Hands, despite its heavy gore and high body count, is a rather sweet natured movie and Flender has genuine affection for his characters.  For instance, it is revealed early on that one of Molly’s hobbies is writing song lyrics in a notebook that Anton happens to pick up after she has dropped it. It is this hobby that initially attracts Anton to Molly (well, and the fact that she looks like Jessica Alba).  He tells his friends Pnub and Mick, “Her songs are badass, man. She’s like a poet or something.” Now, in a lesser movie Molly’s song writing would be played for laughs – there would be a close up of Molly as she reads her (terrible) lyrics out loud, while  Anton, in a reverse shot, would be biting down on his lip, trying awfully hard to contain his laughter.  Here, Anton, finally having worked up the nerve to talk to Molly, enthusiastically starts singing Molly’s lyrics back to her, which gets her to laugh.

Devon Sawa is extremely effective in the role of Anton.  Anton spends his entire day getting high and burying himself in his headphones that he is completely oblivious to the serial killer plaguing his small town (a mailman, a bar maid, and two twin brothers have been murdered). When Pnub asks Anton if he ever watches the news, Anton responds, “I hate that fucking show!” He also fails to notice that his house is covered in blood stains – his parents were murdered the previous night.   Therefore, imagine Anton’s surprise when he learns that his right hand is responsible for all these deaths.  Anton doesn’t have any real ambitions in life, his dream life would be “to lie around in bed all day and watch TV, while some hot broad brings me food.”  Anton maybe a slacker, but he does have a conscience.  After Mick has unwitting released the severed hand from the microwave Anton nuked it in, he is determined to stop it – especially learning that its main target is Molly, who is at the Halloween Dance.   Mick tries to convince him that it is no longer his responsible and that he needs some “Anton time.”  This leads to the funniest exchange in the entire movie:

Anton: No,no, no, you know what? Not this time. Okay, I’m through with that, I mean, all I do is sit around all day, veg out, I watch TV, I smoke pot…….
Mick:  No, no! No Kevin Costner speech, let’s just go.

Sawa is very good at physical comedy - my favorite bit is when Anton and his possessed hand fight over the TV remote; Anton wants to watch cartoons, but The Hand keeps turning it to horror movies.

Pnub and Mick are just as lazy as Anton  - they’re main ambition is to watch TV, eat junk food, and get high.  This ambition (or lack of) stays with them even after they return from the dead –instead of going to heaven (which they describe as “uncool” and “too far away”), they decide to remain on earth and continue their slacker existence.  Mick criticizes Anton for not having any real goals in life, but he’s isn’t exactly one to talk.  Seth Green and Elden Henson real shine in these two roles, largely because of how understated much of their delivery is.  These two characters could have easily been insufferable, but in the hands of two pros like Green and Hensen they are agreeable. The two of them are even given  a character arc - they go from being Anton's useless best friends to being his guardian angels.

Jessica Alba possibly has the toughest job in the entire movie, because Molly is the least interesting character in the entire movie - when compared to the rest of the cast.  Molly is your quintessential “girl next door” type, which means the filmmakers are more interesting in showcasing her attractiveness than giving her a genuine personality;  Molly, despite crawling through a ventilation shaft and being tied to a roof of a car, still looks like she could grace the cover of a men’s magazine.  Alba is definitely well cast in the role and is actually pretty funny at times.  My favorite Molly moment comes when Anton, after The Hand has murdered Pnub and Mick, looks for his cat in the shrubbery outside Molly’s house after The Hand has thrown it there.  The Hand rings Molly’s doorbell, much to Anton’s embarrassment, and she answers the door.  Anton looks like complete crap – his clothes are torn and covered in blood – and Molly asks Anton what he is doing there.  Anton replies that he’s looking for his cat and then adds that they got into a fight.  Molly notice Anton’s messy appearance and, without a hint of irony, says, “You got your ass kicked!”  Later on, Anton and Molly are making out on her bed, but The Hand keeps trying to strangle her, so Anton ties it to her bedpost. Molly pauses for a second, laughs, and then tells Anton that he is kinky.  How can I forget her dance scene? I’m sure there are many men who would find it sexy, but I always found it funny – Molly sways her body back and forth, while waving her arms over her head in a totally arrhythmic manner.  This is one, of a few, Jessica Alba performances that I actually like – there’s no slumming on her part; she is extremely likable as Molly.

Vivica A. Fox is a hoot as Debi, a druid priestess who drives across country in an RV, hunting down the evil that possesses Anton’s Hand (“There is evil out there and I’m going to kick its ass”).   I also like Jack Noseworthy as Anton’s metal head, and lecherous, next door neighbor, Randy.  Anton assumes that Randy is an expert on Satanism because he listens to heavy metal music.  Randy tells Anton that “Idle hands are the devil’s playground” and advises him to take up a hobby that will help occupy his time – Anton, unwisely, chooses knitting.

Rodman Flender keeps things going at an efficient pace and even adds style to the proceedings. Flender often uses match on action editing and graphic matches to link scenes together; when Debi is driving her RV, the camera tilts down to a close up of one its tires, then it cuts to the close of a shopping cart wheel - the camera tilts up to reveal that Anton is pushing the cart. Later on, there is a long shot of The (now severed) Hand crawling down the road which then slowly dissolves to a long shot of a bowling lane where Randy is hanging out with his friends.  He also begins the movie with an extremely ambitious crane shot: the camera starts on a close up of a Jack O Lantern, glides through Anton’s front lawn (littered with tacky lawn ornaments), gives us a glance of the living room window (covered in Halloween decorations), and finally settles on the bedroom window of Anton’s parents, located on the second floor.  The movie then dissolves into a close up of Anton’s mother reading the newspaper in bed. It not only does a nice job of establishing the time of the year (Halloween), but gives the audience a nice sense of the foreboding - we know something bad is going to happen to Anton's parents.

Idle Hands is the kind of movie that the phrase “acquired taste” was invented for. If your idea of good time at the movie is My Big Fat Greek Wedding, or Frozen, then I humbly suggest you keep away from Idle Hands. If you have a sick sense of humor, like me, then you will probably enjoy it! It’s definitely worth checking out and is not nearly the disaster that most critics made it out to be.

Credits

Cast:  Devon Sawa (Anton), Seth Green (Mick), Elden Henson (Pnub), Jessica Alba (Molly), Vivica  A. Fox (Debi LeCure), Jack Noseworthy (Randy), Katie Wright (Tanya), Sean Whalen (McMay), Christopher Hart (The Hand), Nicholas Sadler (Ruck), Fred Willard (Dad Tobias), Connie Ray (Mom Tobias), Timothy Stack (Principal Tidwell), Steve Van Wormer (Curtis), Kelly Monaco (Tiffany).
Director: Rodman Flender
Screenplay: Terri Hughes, Ron Milbauer.
Running Time: 92 min.

Jaws 2 (1978)

I have a soft spot for Jaws 2. This is mainly due to the sense of nostalgia it evokes whenever I watch it, as opposed to it being a good movie. It was one of the very first movies my dad recorded on our VCR (in 1986) and, in fact, I saw Jaws 2 before I saw the original movie (we rented Jaws a few months later).  I was seven years-old at the time, therefore, I could have cared less about character development, or plotting, the only thing that mattered to me was the shark. As unnecessary sequels go, Jaws 2 isn’t bad, especially when compared to the countless Jaws rip-offs that were being produced at the same time (Orca, Grizzly, Humanoids from the Deep, and Barracuda, to name a few).  I would even argue that it is even better than the source material, Peter Benchley’s novel Jaws, which inspired the first movie.  Benchley’s novel is a truly dreadful piece of exploitation – it is equivalent to the kind of cinematic trash that Roger Corman was producing at New World Pictures at time – heavy on sex and violence (Hooper and Ellen have an affair), but light on story and characterizations.  It is absolutely miraculous how Steven Spielberg was able to take a piss poor novel and transform it into a cinematic masterpiece.  Jeannot Szwarc, the director of Jaws 2, deserves some credit for turning in a watchable movie, even if it greatly pales in comparison to its predecessor. 

Jaws 2 biggest flaw is that is a crowded movie. It is populated with characters completely devoid of any personality - I struggle to remember the names of the teenagers, with the exception of Tina, largely because she has a knack for being at right place at the right time; it is she and her boyfriend, Eddie, who witness the motorboat explosion and, later, stumble across the corpse of the half-eaten killer whale.  This is unfortunate, because it’s hard to care about the characters later on when they are being terrorized by the shark. There is also the unfortunate subplot involving Len Peterson, Ellen greedy boss and local developer, who opposes Chief Martin Brody. This is supposed to add friction to Martin and Ellen’s marriage, but only serves as meaningless filler.  Roy Scheider does his best to bring an air of credibility of the proceedings, but there are a few moments where even he is defeated by the material; his performance in the first film was much more naturalistic, here, he tends to overact at times.  

There’s also a sense of a déjà vu in the movie’s first half - Chief Brody suspects a shark is swimming in the waters of Amity, but is greeted with initial skepticism by the town leaders; you would think that Mayor Vaughn would have learned his lesson after the events in the first movie.  This also begs the question: Why center the sequel on Chief Brody?  It would make more sense for the movie to follow the exploits of Matt Hooper – he is an oceanographer, hence it is only natural that he would inevitably encounter another great white shark.

It’s also not surprising that the sequel is much more excessive in terms of the shark. In the first film, it wasn’t until the midway point that we were given a good look at the shark and, even then, it was fleeting. The sequel blows its wad in the first twenty minutes; the shark eats a water skier and then attacks the speedboat that was towing her.  In a laughable attempt at making the shark scarier, the filmmakers give it burn scars, the result of being in the middle of a boat explosion that it accidentally caused; the woman in the boat freaks out when she sees the shark, spills gasoline all over the boat and herself, and then fires a flare gun at the shark, which results in a big explosion.

Though, rather surprisingly, the death toll is relatively small (seven total) – this is an advantage in the movie’s favor. I recently watched the Roger Corman produced Sharktopus, and the move is devoid of any suspense largely because the body count (over 30) is so high that it becomes fairly redundant - every time the movie introduces a minor character they are promptly devoured. Indeed, most of the deaths are played for laughs. At least in Jaws 2, there is some element of suspense as to whether or not a character is going to survive. I still find the death of Marge to be a fairly shocking –after pulling Sean to safety she is swallowed whole by the shark. I also liked the fact that Sean is still traumatized by her death in the next scene as to just shaking it off; which is a tendency in most modern horror movies.  The last half hour is the strongest part  of the entire movie – the shark maybe a ridiculous at times, but at least the characters behave in a realistic fashion (no one cracks a stupid joke, there are no displays of bad assery), they are genuinely frightened and just want to survive.  The scene where the blonde girl, Lucy, starts praying may come off as maudlin, but it is perfectly believable, especially after having just witnessed her friend get devoured. 

Jaws 2 differentiates from its predecessor in that the second half is a race to the rescue, as opposed to being a hunting expedition.  In the first movie, the second half follows Brody, Quint, and Hooper as they hunt down the shark. The movie focuses entirely on their efforts to track down and kill the shark, without every once cutting back to the mainland – it effectively gives the audience a sense of isolation. These men are cut off from civilization and if anything goes wrong, no one will be able to save them.  Jaws 2, on the other hand, constantly cross cuts between Brody and the teenagers, and the “suspense” is built around whether or not Brody will arrive in time to save the teenagers from being devoured. It moves at a swift pace, but by constantly cutting back and forth between the two locations, it diffuses the tension – after each shark attack, the movie will cut back to Brody on the police launch, steadily on his way.  Brody gets sidelined for most of the second half; it’s only be sheer happenstance that he learns of the teenagers whereabouts.  It certainly doesn’t help that the teenagers are cardboard cutouts and lack the screen presence of the leads in the first movie.

I would like to think the scene with the beached killer whale corpse is a shot at the Jaws rip-off Orca; that movie begins with a killer whale killing a great white shark. It was producer Dino De Laurentis’ (still bitter that his King Kong remake made less money than Jaws) way of saying that Jaws was fun and stuff, but it was no match for Orca. Jaws 2, while definitely inferior to the first movie, is leagues a head of Orca.  Though, it is depressing to see that one of Jaws 2 biggest “scare” moments – the shark attacking the helicopter – is lifted from the movie Grizzly, another Jaws rip-off. In that film, the title monster (a fifteen foot grizzly bear) attacks a helicopter, though it only manages to spin it around a few times.

Jaws 2 proved to be enough of a hit that Universal green lit two more sequels (Jaws 3-D, and Jaws The Revenge), though it only did about 40% of the original movie.  It is an acceptable waste of time, especially on dull, Sunday afternoon. So, if it happens to be playing on your local TV station (do they still show movies?),  open up a six pack of beer and give it a watch. 

Credits

Cast:  Roy Scheider (Police Chief Martin Brody), Lorraine Gary (Ellen Brody), Murray Hamilton (Mayor Vaughn), Joseph Mascolo (Len Petersen), Jeffrey Kramer (Deputy Hendricks), Ann Dusenberry (Tina), Mark Gruner (Mike Brody), Marc Gilpin (Sean Brody), Collin Wilcox (Dr. Elkins), Gary Springer (Andy), Donna Wilkes (Jackie), Keith Gordon (Doug), David Elliott (Larry Vaughn, Jr.), Barry Coe (Tom), Gary Dubin (Eddie),  John Dukakis (Paul), G. Thomas Dunlap (Timmy), Cindy Grover (Lucy), Gigi Vorgan (Brooke), Billy Van Zandt (Bob),  Ben Marley (Patrick), Martha Swatek (Marge), Susan French (Grace), Jerry M. Baxter (Helicopter Pilot).

Director: Jeannot Szwarc
Screenplay: Carl Gottlieb, Howard Sackler.
Running Time: 116 min. 

Who Done It? (1942)

From 1940 to 1956, the comedy team of Abbott and Costello made 36 movies together. In that sixteen year span they made one genuine classic (Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein), some very good comedies (Hold That Ghost, Pardon My Sarong,The Time of Their Lives, Who Done It?, Buck Privates), and a few forgettable movies (Abbott & Costello Meet the Mummy, Mexican Hayride, Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff). However, it says a lot about their appeal that even their lesser movies are constantly amusing, if not particularly funny (I have a soft spot for Abbott & Costello Go to Mars). 

Who Done It? was the fourth (and last) movie Abbott and Costello made in 1942 and it is easily one of their better movies. It benefits greatly from a fine supporting cast (particularly William Bendix as a dimwitted detective and Mary Wickes as a lanky secretary) and some top notch direction by Erle C. Kenton – a gifted studio director whose best known for the horror classic Island of Lost Souls. Kenton keeps things moving at a swift pace and effectively builds tension by clouding the frame in shadows - the killer lurks about in the dark and there's always a sense that he could strike at any minute. 

I think one of the main reasons Abbott and Costello connected with World War II audiences was that they exemplified the every man; neither of them were particularly glamorous and they often began their movies working at a rather thankless job – in Who Done It?  they are a pair of soda jerks, Chick and Mervin, who work next in a drug store inside the local radio station; their true aspiration in life is to write radio mysteries.  When they learn that one of their customers, Juliet, is the secretary of Colonel Andrews, the executive director of the General Broadcasting System, Chick urges Mervin to put the moves on her in the hopes that it will lead to work. Mervin, however, proves to be no Romeo, but, thankfully, they manage to befriend Jimmy, an aspiring writer who also happens to be romantically linked to “Murder at Midnight” producer, Jane Little.  Jimmy gives them tickets to the “Murder at Midnight” broadcast, and everything seems to be looking up until Col. Andrews is murdered.  Chick and Mervin decide to solve the mysteries themselves, rather than call the police, and are confident that it will give them the national exposure that they truly deserve. When the real police show up, they naturally become the top suspects in the murder investigation.  Fortunately, Lt. Moran and his sidekick, Detective Brannigan, are dumber than Chick and Mervin – in one of the movie’s funniest moments Mervin manages to trick Brannigan into handcuffing himself.

Abbott and Costello were often paired with fairly likable juvenile leads: Richard Carlson and Evelyn Ankers in Hold That Ghost; Robert Paige and Virginia Bruce in Pardon My Sarong; and Patrick Knowles and Louise Allbritton in Who Done It?  The romantic leads tended to be stumbling blocks in the movies of other comedians; most notably, Bonnie Scotland, starring Laurel and Hardy. In that movie, not only are two romantic leads, Alan and Lorna, superfluous to the actual story, but the leading actress, June Lang, never actually meets the boys. Hell, the movie doesn’t even bother to resolve the Alan/Lorna story line.  Who Done It? is a rare instance where I wish the two juveniles would have been given more screen time.  Patric Knowles was, essentially, the poor man’s Errol Flynn, but he had a likable, easy going charm about him. Louise Allbritton was not your typical 1940s leading lady - her characters were fairly strong willed and  often carried themselves in a professional manner. In Who Done It?, Jane, rather than being a helpless damsel in distress, is rather proactive in solving the murder mystery.  It’s also refreshing that she is never put in the position of having to choose between Jimmy and her career in radio. 

Yet, despite the title and the synopsis I have laid out, the mystery is secondary to the comedy and is even forgotten about at times; there is a long stretch devoted to Mervin trying to contact the radio station after learning he has won $10,000 dollars on the radio program “Wheel of Fortune.” Every time he dials the number to the station, the operator keeps telling him, “The line is busy.”  This leads to a rather cartoonish gag in which he sprays a bottle of seltzer water in the payphone mouthpiece and it comes spurting out of the mouth piece on the other end, squirting the poor woman in the face.  If your main focus is on the murder mystery, then this scene will absolutely frustrate you – it goes on for nearly five minutes. 

Abbott and Costello were extremely popular on the radio (and later television), so it's not surprising that many of the laughs come from the dialogue. Here are some of my favorite bits: 

Detective Brannigan: (talking to a boy usher) Don’t you know it’s against the law to impersonate an officer?
Usher:  Then how do you get away with it?

Chick: (while pretending to be a detective) You know if we find the hand that fits the glove, we find the murderer.
Mervin:  (trying on the glove) And it fits me perfect.

Chick: (while Mervin is trying to contact station to claim his $10,000 prize) I’m going over here to figure out how to spend your money.

Credits
Cast:  Bud Abbott (Chick), Lou Costello (Mervin), Patric Knowles (Jimmy), Louise Allbritton (Jane), William Gargan (Lt. Lou Moran), William Bendix (Detective Brannigan), Thomas Gomez (Col. J.R. Andrews), Mary Wickes (Juliet), Don Porter (Art), Jerome Cowan (Marco).

Director: Erle C. Kenton
Screenplay: Stanley Roberts, Edmund Joseph, John Grant.
Running Time:  77 min.