Area 51 (2015)

The Blair Witch Project is one of the worst things that ever happened to cinema, not only is it vastly overrated and irritating, but it spawned the whole found footage subgenre that has been plaguing the movie theatres for the last decade.  However, at least The Blair Witch Project had a clever marketing campaign (it was promoted as being real footage) that stirred up audience interest, the later found footage movies tend to relegated to DVD purgatory, until they are eventually picked up by Netflix.  There are a few found footage movies I do like (V/H/S, V/H/S 2, and Evidence), but these are the exceptions rather than the rule.  The V/H/S movies are an anthology series that have some genuinely creepy stories, effects, and editing.  Evidence has a framing device that justifies the found footage:  two detectives hope that videos taken by the victims at a murder scene can lead them to the killer. Also, a credible reason is given for the victims to continue recording, despite their lives being in jeopardy – they know their inevitable fates, but hope that their video footage can help apprehend the killer.  Though, in all honesty, Evidence is a pretty bad movie that I just have a soft spot for. 

Area 51 represents everything I find loathsome about the found footage genre –bland acting, an over use of the shaky cam to add “tension” to the proceedings, and totally irrational behavior by the lead characters.  The “plot” centers around three bros (Reid, Darrin, Ben) who hope to break into Area 51. They join up with an attractive woman, Jelena, whose father used to work at the facility, and all sorts of hilarity….er I mean horror ensues.  Of course, we already know that they are going to come to a bad end, because the movie tells us right off that bat– the movies opens with a documentary crew interviewing the relatives of the three men, bemoaning the fact that they might never see them again. Way to diffuse the suspense there, movie.   

Ben, the horniest one out of the lot, is reluctant to go along with the plan and threatens to back out on several occasions, only to have his mind changed by Reid, the weirdo of the group.  While Ben maybe a douche bag, he is the only one in the group that exercises common sense – hell, I think he might have been onto something when he suggested that instead of going to Area 51, they should spend the weekend in Vegas.  Ben, however, doesn’t actually sneak onto the base, he is the getaway driver. I was personally hoping that the movie would end with Reid and company running for their dear lives across the desert (while aliens and military men chased after them) only to find, to their abject horror, Ben had ditched them. The movie would then cut to Ben in Las Vegas, hitting on beautiful showgirls, and gambling all of his money away.  No such luck!  

I’m also baffled by Darrin’s behavior – he’s all gung ho about breaking into the base, until it is revealed that Jelena is going along. It is only then that he gets a bit apprehensive about the plan, but thankfully, stupidity triumphs and he listens to Reid.  Jelena is, I guess, there to supply the eye candy…..I really don’t know her function because she really adds nothing to the movie, other than, “Hey, this looks familiar.” Now, I’m sure a fan of Area 51 will argue that Jelena is the most important character in the movie, but the fact is that Reid could have sneaked into the base without her assistance. Plus, she is nothing but a burden once they get in.  

Reid, as you probably have guessed, is the ring leader and a complete nutcase – he is a recovering alien abductee.  He constantly jeopardizes the mission by either breaking into houses, or standing in the middle of the road.  I’m actually making this movie sound a lot more interesting that it really is. Trust me, watching Area 51 is on par with watching two hour movie about a tractor slowly driving down a road and occasionally stopping, while the driver takes a gulp of water. 

I would talk about the technical merits of the movie, but they are none. The camera is either constantly shaking, zooming in on things, or completely out of focus. It never remains still, because a steady camera simply isn't scary.  When the filmmakers REALLY want to amp up the terror, they turn on the night vision. OOOHHH!  


There are a lot of jump cuts in the movie, which is odd, because this is supposed to be “found footage,” which means it should be unedited. Plus, given the fact that there are hostile aliens in captivity at Area 51, you would think that there would be much tighter security on the base – the only real threat standing between Reid and his buddies from getting into the underground facility is the friggin’ night janitor. The security guards pose no threat, because they always have their backs turned towards our protagonists.  If only the janitor would have seen Reid hiding in that cubicle, then maybe, just maybe, tragedy could have been avoided.  

Credits
Cast: Reid Warner (Reid), Darrin Bragg (Darrin), Ben Rovner (Ben), Jelena Nik (Jelena), Roy Abramsohn (Jim Nelson), Frank Novak (himself), Glenn Campbell (himself ), Conception West (waitress), James Decker (Kooky Local).
Director: Oren Peli
Screenplay: Oren Peli, Christopher Denham.
Running Time: 91min.

Final Exam (1981)

The majority of Slasher movies are pure crap! The documentary Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film tries to offer up a defense for the subgenre, but the cold hard truth is that most criticisms of Slasher films are pretty valid. They are fairly indistinguishable from one another, devoid of any real suspense, and are extremely predictable.  That being said, it is hard to think of a movie (regardless of genre) that is as dull as Final Exam.  Sure, most Slasher movies are terrible, but they usually move at a fast pace and have a few likable characters in the cast;  Final Exam not only lacks both, but it is fairly bloodless, which means it won’t even appeal to gore fans.  The director, Jimmy Huston, said that he wanted to avoid the stereotypes of the genre by making the killings bloodless and having most of them occur off screen – it’s too bad his determination to avoid clichés didn’t carry over to the characters.  All the tropes of the genre are here in their full glory:  Courtney, the shy, virginal heroine; Lisa, the beautiful, but ditzy blonde (who is sleeping with her Chemistry Professor); Wild Man, the dumb jock; Mark, the star athlete (who hair is shaped like a helmet); and Radish, the awkward nerd (who has a morbid fascination with serial killers).

The first hour of the movie is nothing but talk, with the occasional shot of the killer lurking about thrown in for good measure; I normally wouldn’t fault a movie for wanting to develop its characters, but none of these people are remotely interesting. The performances are so over the top (with the exception of leading actress, Cecile Bagdadi) that the characters often come off as South Park caricatures than real people – this is especially true of Wild Man. The nonstop mugging by the supporting cast is not only obnoxious, but it tends to overwhelm Bagdadi’s more restrained performance, to the point that she is a non-entity. Though, the character of Courtney is a bit perplexing – she never joined a sorority because she doesn’t like the hazing, yet she is friends with Mark, the biggest douche bag on campus, and often finds his bullying of pledges humorous. In reality, a girl like Courtney wouldn’t want anything to do with Mark because he is the embodiment of everything wrong with the world. 

The character of Radish is equally perplexing; I initially thought the character was gay – his mannerisms and eccentricities are consistent with gay stereotypes of the 1980s – but then it is revealed that he harbors romantic feelings towards Courtney.  In an extremely awkward scene (which, to the movie’s credit, is played in a fairly realistic manner) Radish, after stumbling for the right words, tells Courtney that she is beautiful. Of course, this scene doesn’t lead to anything as (SPOILERS) Radish gets offed by the killer. The character of Radish is meant to be a bit of misdirection by the filmmakers - he is the one that discovers the corpses of Wild Man and Mark, and attempts to contact the police. However, the sheriff won't listen, because he assumes it's a prank - earlier in the movie, Mark's fraternity staged a fake mass shooting, and Radish, unaware that it was a ruse, called the sheriff down to the campus. This, naturally, pissed the sheriff off and he vowed not to be fooled by any more college pranks. When the sheriff refuses to listen, Radish decides to take charge of the situation and the audience assumes that he will be the hero of the movie. However, just seconds after he is finally given a character arc, Radish bites the dust.

I personally suspect that the movie initially began as an Animal House ripoff, but when the filmmakers realized how horribly unfunny their movie was, they opted to turn it into a Slasher movie. It would explain why much of the running time is devoted to the pranks that Mark’s fraternity plays on other college students.  The two most common complaints about Final Exam is that the killer doesn’t wear a mask and that the killer doesn’t have a back story, as if either would make a difference.  There is no logical reason for the killer to be wearing a mask, he’s not trying to hide his identity nor has his face been horribly scarred. In Slasher movies, the killer’s motivation is NOT important, it’s just a plot device that leads to the gore and nudity. If Michael Meyers is only after Laurie Strode, then why does he kill random people? Does Jason, supposedly, witnessing his mother being killed justify his killings in the next seven movies? 

The filmmakers try to spice things up with some unusual camera angles – a lunch tray is given a point of view shot – but these are more head scratching than tension building. My favorite shot has an extra centered in the foreground with her face in a medium closeup, while Courtney (frame right) is gathering up her belongings in the background. WHY? I don’t know! Maybe it’s so supposed to represent how Courtney views herself in the grand scheme of things; small and insignificant. Though, I think the more likely explanation was that Jimmy Huston was attempting a Citizen Kane- like shot and believed that this fit the bill. 

Also, what is up with the musical score? It’s more suitable for a TV about teenage pregnancy than a Slasher movie. I half expected the killer to have a heart to heart with his victims instead of brutally murdering them.

Credits 

Cast: Cecile Bagdadi (Courtney), Joel S. Rice (Radish), DeAnna Robbins (Lisa), Ralph Brown (Wild Man),Sherry Willis-Burch(Janet), John Fallon (Mark), Terry W. Farren (Gary), Timothy L. Raynor (Killer),Jerry Rushing (Coach), Sam Kilman (Sheriff), Don Hepner (Dr. Reynolds), Mary Ellen Withers (Elizabeth),Shannon Norfleet (Boy In Car), Carol Capka (Girl In Car).

Director: Jimmy Huston
Screenplay: Jimmy Huston.
Running Time: 90 min.