Final Exam (1981)

The majority of Slasher movies are pure crap! The documentary Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film tries to offer up a defense for the subgenre, but the cold hard truth is that most criticism of Slasher films is pretty valid. They are fairly indistinguishable from one another, devoid of any real suspense, and are extremely predictable.  That being said, it is hard to think of a movie (regardless of genre) that is as dull as Final Exam.  Sure, most Slasher movies are terrible, but they usually move at a fast pace and have a few likable characters in the cast;  Final Exam not only lacks both, but it is fairly bloodless, which means it won’t even appeal to gore fans.  The director, Jimmy Huston, said that he wanted to avoid the stereotypes of the genre by making the killings bloodless and having most of them occur off screen – it’s too bad his determination to avoid clichés didn’t carry over to the characters.  All the tropes of the genre are here in their full glory:  Courtney, the shy, virginal heroine; Lisa, the beautiful, but ditzy blonde (who is sleeping with her Chemistry Professor); Wild Man, the dumb jock; Mark, the star athlete (who hair is shaped like a helmet); and Radish, the awkward nerd (who has a morbid fascination with serial killers).

The first hour of the movie is nothing but talk, with the occasional shot of the killer lurking about thrown in for good measure; I normally wouldn’t fault a movie for wanting to develop its characters, but none of these people are remotely interesting. The performances are so over the top (with the exception of leading actress, Cecile Bagdadi) that the characters often come off as South Park caricatures than real people – this is especially true of Wild Man. The nonstop mugging by the supporting cast is not only obnoxious, but it tends to overwhelm Bagdadi’s more restrained performance, to the point that she is a non-entity. Though, the character of Courtney is a bit perplexing – she never joined a sorority because she doesn’t like the hazing, yet she is friends with Mark, the biggest douche bag on campus, and often finds his bullying of pledges humorous. In reality, a girl like Courtney wouldn’t want anything to do with Mark because he is the embodiment of everything wrong with the world. 

The character of Radish is equally perplexing; I initially thought the character was supposed to be gay – his mannerisms and eccentricity are consistent with gay stereotypes of the 80s – but then it is revealed that he harbors romantic feelings towards Courtney.  In an extremely awkward scene (which, to the movie’s credit, is played in a fairly realistic manner)Radish, after stumbling for the right words, tells Courtney that she is beautiful. Of course, this scene doesn’t lead to anything as (SPOILERS) Radish gets offed by the killer. The character of Radish is meant to be a bit of misdirection by the filmmakers - he is the one that discovers the corpses of Wild Man and Mark, and attempts to contact the police. However, the sheriff won't listen, because he assumes it's a prank - earlier in the movie, Mark's fraternity staged a fake mass shooting, and Radish, unaware that it was a ruse, called the sheriff down to the campus. This, naturally, pissed the sheriff off and he vowed not to be fooled by any more college pranks. When the sheriff refuses to listen, Radish decides to take charge of the situation and the audience assumes that he will be the hero of the movie. However, just seconds after he is finally given a character arc, Radish bites the dust.

I personally suspect that the movie initially started off as a rip off of Animal House, but when the filmmakers realized how horribly unfunny their movie was, they opted to turn it into a Slasher movie. It would explain why much of the running time is devoted to the pranks that Mark’s fraternity plays on other college students.  The two most common complaints about Final Exam is that the killer doesn’t wear a mask and that the killer doesn’t have a back story, as if either would make a difference.  There is no logical reason for the killer to be wearing a mask, he’s not trying to hide his identity nor has his face been horribly scarred. In Slasher movies, the killer’s motivation is NOT important, it’s just a plot device that leads to the gore and nudity. If Michael Meyers is only after Laurie Strode, then why does he kill random people? Does Jason, supposedly, witnessing his mother being killed justify his killings in the next seven movies? 

The filmmakers try to spice things up with some unusual camera angles – a lunch tray is given a point of view shot – but these are more head scratching than tension building. My favorite shot has an extra centered in the foreground with her face in a medium closeup, while Courtney (frame right) is gathering up her belongings in the background. WHY? I don’t know! Maybe it’s so supposed to represent how Courtney views herself in the grand scheme of things; small and insignificant. Though, I think the more likely explanation was that Jimmy Huston was attempting a Citizen Kane- like shot and believed that this fit the bill. 

Also, what is up with the musical score? It’s more suitable for a TV about teenage pregnancy than a Slasher movie. I half expected the killer to have a heart to heart with his victims instead of brutally murdering them.

Credits 

Cast: Cecile Bagdadi (Courtney), Joel S. Rice (Radish), DeAnna Robbins (Lisa), Ralph Brown (Wild Man),Sherry Willis-Burch(Janet), John Fallon (Mark), Terry W. Farren (Gary), Timothy L. Raynor (Killer),Jerry Rushing (Coach), Sam Kilman (Sheriff), Don Hepner (Dr. Reynolds), Mary Ellen Withers (Elizabeth),Shannon Norfleet (Boy In Car), Carol Capka (Girl In Car).

Director: Jimmy Huston
Screenplay: Jimmy Huston.
Running Time: 90 min.