Skip to main content

American Horror House (2012)





After watching American Horror House, I initially thought that it was made by young filmmakers who, after having watched one too many horror movies, decided to make their own horror movie as a calling card to the movie industry.  From its over reliance of dutch angles and point of view shots to constantly referencing better horror movies, American Horror House has film student written all over it. Therefore, it was a bit of shock when I found out that both its director (Darin Scott) and screenwriter (Anthony C. Ferrante) have been in the business for quite sometime and have been churning out this kind of schlock their entire careers. I’m fairly lenient towards young, inexperienced filmmakers struggling to make a scary movie, but these men seem fairly content in cranking out lazy, by the numbers horror movies (Ferrante is probably best known for directing the Sharknado movies). 

American Horror House has the exact same structure as the original Friday the 13th: a pre-credit murder scene, followed by an introduction of a female character (that I label the sacrificial lamb), and then the introduction of the film’s main protagonist. Though, in Friday the 13th, the character of Annie was sort of misdirection; we initially assumed that she was the main character of the piece, so when she is murdered twenty minutes into the movie it was a genuine shock. The Annie counterpart in American Horror House, Marylynn, doesn’t have the same effect.  Annie, despite her limited screen time, was a genuinely likable character and had an appealing personality, while Marylynn barely registers as a character. She is first seen running across the campus on her way to a violin lesson, unaware that she is actually running towards a gory end.  After Marylynn is diced into pieces by possessed violin strings, we are finally introduced to our heroine, Daria.  

There are two problems with Daria: despite being the main character she is only in about a third of the movie and, more importantly, she makes incredibly stupid decisions. Granted, the dumb heroine is a staple in most horror movies, but Daria is supposed to be super intelligent and badass.  When the bodies start piling up rather than flee from the sorority house, Daria stays because she is determined to get into the sorority. That’s right – our main protagonist, who is supposed to be such a free spirit, main motivation is get accepted into a stupid sorority (even though she is  treated like garbage by the sorority sisters).  Alessandra Torresani isn’t terrible in the role, but she doesn’t exactly elevate the material, either. Though, even the best actresses would struggle with this role; there really isn’t much substance to the character. 


There is also an inexplicable subplot about a private detective trying to find Marylynn. The dumbass stumbles around the campus for nearly an hour only to be killed by Marylynn’s ghost in gruesome fashion.  This subplot might have been effective had there been some ambiguity over Marylynn’s fate, but the movie tips its hand right off the bat. As a result, the private detective is just mere filler. He has no actual function in the story and could have easily been written out. 



American Horror House, like most bad horror movies, often violates its own rules in a cheap effort to build suspense. It is established throughout the movie that ghost have the ability to teleport, yet in the movie’s climax, when the two remaining survivors are trapped in the attic, the ghosts rather than teleport into the room instead try to break down the door. Why? At one point, the generic male love interest fights off a ghost with his fists.  Which begs the question: Was this always a ghost story? It often has the feel of a zombie movie, especially during its final minutes. Did it start out as a zombie movie, or are the filmmakers just lazy? I vote the latter. 



Of course, the main selling point of American Horror House is its gory special effects. The problem with gore effects is that they have become so common place on television that they have lost their ability to shock. In the 1980s, splatter movies were something you rented as a dare.  You were considered a brave soul if you made it through a movie like The Evil Dead and were the subject of ridicule if you chickened out.   The gore effects in American Horror House are often achieved through bad looking CGI, so rather than being “shocking” or “disgusting,” they are just laughable. It makes for a great example on how not to make a horror movie.  


Credits
Cast: Morgan Fairchild (Morgan Fairchild), Alessandra Torresani  (Daria), Jackie Tuttle (Colleen), Dave Davis (Lloyd), Salina Duplessis  (Sarah), Cameron Deane Stewart (Derek), Sarah Ellis Smith (Marylynn), Gralen Bryant Banks (Detective Hammond), Isabel Cueva (Miss Pena), Sydney Spies (Missy), Carol Jean Wells (Rosemary), Jennie Kamin (Riley), Ashton Leigh (Tish), Ramona Tyler (Sandy Adams), Cait Taylor (Kaylee).
Director : Darin Scott
Screenplay: Anthony C. Ferrante
Running Time: 83 min.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Garfield Christmas ( 1987)

  As a kid one of the biggest joys of the Christmas season, other than the presents, was the holiday specials that aired on television through out December.   The vast majority of these specials have fallen through the cracks, but there are a few that have become classics.   A Garfield Christmas first aired on December 21, 1987 and it is one of those specials that my family still watches. The reason Garfield works to well is that humor appeals to both kids and adults; it also doesn’t have the patronizing tone that can be found in many children’s shows.    Garfield, much like Charles M Schulz’s Peanuts, was a fairly popular comic strip that successfully transitioned to television.   Garfield is a cynical cat who lives with his, slightly neurotic, owner Jon and Odie, Jon’s idiotic dog. The premise to A Garfield is fairly simple: Jon, with Garfield and Odie in tow, visits his family on the farm.   While Jon and Odie are enthusiastic about spending Christmas on the farm, Garfield is

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

I initially planned on having this review up before Christmas but it was delayed a bit by computer problems, family get togethers, and my full time job. In case you were wondering why I'm reviewing a Christmas movie in early January, well...those are the reasons. I hope you enjoy. It has been a long standing Christmas tradition in my family to sit down and watch the great Christmas movies: It’s a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Carol (1938 version), White Christmas, A Christmas Story, Miracle on 34 th Street (the original, obviously), and last, but certainly not least, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.   Of course, out of the movies I just listed Christmas Vacation is obviously the odd man out.   First, it is the third entry in the popular Vacation series, while the other movies listed are stand alone films. White Christmas is a semi-remake of Holiday Inn, but the story is significantly different than the earlier movie.   Second, it easily the crudest out of three (i

Teen Wolf Too (1987): Attack of the Bad Sequel

Teen Wolf Too! Ugh! When I first bought a DVD player, one of the first DVDs I purchased was Teen Wolf. The only downfall was that it was a double feature DVD, which means I had to purchase Teen Wolf Too as well. Teen Wolf is by no means a great movie, but compared to Teen Wolf Too it is a masterpiece. No word is adequate enough to describe just how terrible Teen Wolf Too is; it's an atrocity against the human race. It's 95 minutes of sheer torture with a ridiculously overqualified cast doing their best not to look embarrassed.  I've always theorized that Teen Wolf Too was originally supposed to be  Teen Wolf 2, and further the adventures of Scott Howard (Michael J. Fox) as he took on college. However, when Michael J. Fox turned down the script (because it was friggin' awful), the filmmakers created a new character, Todd, and cast a Michael J. Fox-like actor in the role. It was during this time frame (1987) that Jason Bateman was starring in the dreadful sitcom