DUDE! What the hell did I just watch? That was the most boring piece of shit I have ever watched. I mean, seriously - I was expecting a kick ass space action film (like the bad ass Star Trek Into Darkness) but instead I was forced to watch a boring science lecture. DUDE! It seriously sucked! That was NAWT cool!!!! I remember when I was fifteen and saw Independence Day for the first time, I was so invested in that movie that when they destroyed the mother ship at the end, I jump up from my seat and accidentally spilled my nachos all over my flip flops. It was so BAD ASS! In comparison, in 2001, when that boring astronaut bro finally defeats that evil computer, I turned my best bro and said, "Is this scene ever going to end?" He then fist bumped me and said, "Good one, bro!" We then decided to wash off the stink of this movie by going to the nearest bar and picking up some babes! Well, we were hoping to pick up some babes - but they were only like two in the place, and they were middle aged. Well, to be honest we did try to pick them up and they rejected us. US!!! My bro and I were the kings of the keg stand in our youth - we were well known throughout our small town. After the shock of their initial rejection wore off, I asked "Don't you know who I am?"
They stared at me for a few seconds and nodded their heads NO and carried on with their conversation. I couldn't believe the disrespect on display. THAT WAS NAWT COOL!!! NAWT!!!
I've gone off a rant - let's get back to the movie. Uhhhhhhhhh.......I have nothing else really to say except that it SUCKS. The opening with the fake looking apes has got to be one of the lamest things I have ever seen. Worst of all, there was not a single hawt babe in the entire movie. In Star Trek Into Darkness - we got that scene where incredibly hawt Carol Marcus strips down to her bra and panties. That was so hawt - that my bro spilled his Mountain Dew all over himself. It literally made him wet....HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!!!!
(Editor's note: The views of Backwards Baseball Cap Bro do not represent the view of this blog. The only reason he was allowed to write a review was because he wouldn't stop pestering me "You got to let me write a review, bro!" I heard this every day for the month and I, unwisely, relented. Backwards Baseball Cap Bro also believes that "Mortal Kombat" is the greatest movie ever made)
Dude, MORTAL KOMBAT IS THE GREATEST MOVIE MADE! I give that movie FIVE FIST BUMPS!!!
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