Joysticks is the type of movie that will make have
you asking: Is this the worst movie ever? It’s also a movie that modern
audiences would label “problematic,” and rightfully so. While I tend to think
that criticism of movies promoting “rape culture” can be overblown at times,
it’s not entirely unfounded, and a movie like Joysticks completely
validates such criticism. It’s hard to
talk about this movie without placing it in the context of the era it was made.
In 1978, Animal House was a huge hit at the box office and, consequently,
this resulted in endless rip-offs. Flash
forward to 1982 and Pac-Man was all the rage in the video game world. This is
when a producer came up with the idea to combine the two. “People LOVED Animal
House and they love Pac-Man, if I can combine the two, I will have a huge hit
on my head.” The result was Joysticks – an extremely unwatchable sex
comedy that serves two functions: 1) to display as much gratuitous nudity as
possible and 2) to act as one long commercial for the upcoming video game,
Super Pac-Man. In the film’s climax the
movie’s hero, Jefferson Bailey, challenges one of the baddies, King Vidiot, to
a game of Super Pac-Man; the winner will gain control of the arcade.
The “plot” to Joysticks is simple: a greedy businessman, Joseph Rutter,
wants to shut down the local arcade because he thinks it is a bad influence on
the youth. The owner of arcade, Jefferson Bailey, thwarts Rutter’s attempts at
every turn and eventually saves the day when he beats Rutter’s lackey, King Vidiot,
in a game of Super Pac-Man. There are many things wrong with Joysticks, but
probably the most glaring flaw is that the villains are significantly more
likable than the “heroes.” This is largely because the villains are played by
superior actors (Joe Don Baker, Jon Gries, John Diehl, and John Volstad). We
are supposed to boo Joseph Rutter when he wants to shut down the arcade but
given how the arcade is operated you begin to think that maybe he has a point. This
is the same flaw I find with Animal House; when I was younger, I
completely sided with Delta House. They were fun loving guys who had to goals
in life: to party and get laid. Yet, recently watching the movie in my 40s, I
found that I related more to Dean Wormer. He was totally justified in wanting
to kick these guys off campus; they not only failed in their studies, but they
also took advantage of women. Dean Wormer is the real hero of Animal House and
Delta House are the villains.
The performances by the lead actors range from mediocre to terrible: Scott McGinnis is passable in the role of Jefferson Bailey, but he lacks charisma. Jefferson Baily is, of course, homage to James Stewart’s two most famous roles, Jefferson Smith and George Bailey; except that those two characters were actually likable and were often fighting actual corruption. Leif Green is obnoxious as the nerdy Eugene Groebe. This is the kind of role that Eddie Deezen used to play to perfection and Leif Green is no Eddie Deezen. The worst of the lot is Jim Greenleaf as McDorfus, who seems content with doing a bad John Belushi imitation.
It also doesn’t help that our “heroes,” Jefferson Bailey, Eugene Groebe, and McDorfus have highly dubious morals. There is an actual scene where Eugene and McDorfus sneak into Rutter’s house, find Mrs. Rutter sleeping in her bed, and McDorfus urges Eugene to rape her. The movie tries to let these two off the hook by making Mrs. Rutter a nymphomaniac, who has a thing for young men, but it doesn’t make the scene any less disturbing. In another “hilarious” scene, Bailey manages to convince two nubile women to play a game of strip Pac-Man. The two girls are wearing nothing but their panties; it’s then that Eugene and McDorfus (at the behest of Jefferson) stage a fake fire, this freaks out the two woman and they run out into the arcade in their nude state. It’s at this very moment that Rutter walks into the arcade, and Bailey takes a photo of the two topless women standing next to Rutter. The reason for this prank is the earlier in the movie, to get into a sorority, they must take a photo of a nerd in his underwear and manage to persuade Eugene to take off his pants. While it could be argued these women get their just deserts, they are far more humiliated than Eugene was – he was still fully clothed and is wearing a pair of boxers. Later, Jefferson Bailey throws a private party at the arcade and the only way women are allowed to enter is if they are dressed in the nighties. Again, how exactly is Rutter the bad guy in this scenario? I also found it curious that there wasn’t a single child at this arcade, all the patrons appear to be in their twenties.
The compromising photo of Rutter with the two naked girls
proves to be a pivotal plot point later in the film; Jefferson tries to use it
to discredit Rutter. The two sides of pleading their case at a townhall
meeting, and just when it looks like Rutter is winning over the crowd that’s
when Jefferson unveils the photo of Rutter and the girls. I find this idiotic
for two reasons.
1) While the photo shows Rutter in a compromising position; it’s also an
extremely bad look for the arcade. There are two naked women running amok in a
private business, which would only amplify the fears many parents might have
about the place.
2) It never occurs to Rutter to find the two girls and have them testify on his
behalf. They could easily explain the
photo, clear Rutter’s name, and incriminate Jefferson Bailey. It also curious that these two women are prominent
in the movie’s first half hour and then completely disappear from the movie after
their humiliation ritual. This often a
fate the befell a lot of females in these 80s sex comedies; after they showed
their tits, they no longer served a purpose and would be completely forgotten
about.
It's only in the last twenty minutes that movie decides to
give Jefferson Bailey a character arc: it is revealed that he doesn’t play
video games because whenever he looks at the screen of an arcade game, he is
reminded of time when his girlfriend’s father walked in on them having
sex. Whenever he looks at the screen, he
sees his girlfriend’s father sneering at him. Though, this revelation
contradicts the scene earlier in the movie when he plays strip Pac Man with the
two women. He later overcomes this fear when he beats King Vidiot in Super
Pac-Man contest. This is the kind of
plot point that, if done right, could have been very funny, but the movie oddly
plays it completely straight.
While Joysticks is a terrible movie, there are a few bright spots: Jon Gries is funny as the punk rocker, King Vidiot. In fact, he is a way more relatable character than Jefferson Bailey – the only reason he sides with Rudder is because Jefferson kicks him out of the arcade for no real reason. Corine Bohrer gives a lively performance as Rutter’s ditzy daughter, Patsy. It also implied that she has a crush on Jefferson, but the movie doesn’t really go anywhere with it. At the film’s climax, Jefferson is reunited with his girlfriend, and we get a quick shot of Patsy with a jealous look on her face, and then she disappears.
Joe Don Baker seems to be giving it his all,
despite the material he is given. There is one scene that made me laugh: while
pleading their cases to the town hall committee, Rutter and Jefferson paint two
very different pictures of the arcade. In Rutter’s version, the arcade is hell
on earth where Jefferson pimps out girls or has them mud wrestling in the nude. In Jefferson’s version, the arcade
is depicted as being heaven on Earth: everyone dresses in white, drinks milk, and he teaches children how to read. This is the closest Joysticks comes
to being witty, the rest of it is a complete waste of time.
Director: Greydon Clark
Writers: Al Gomez, Mickey Epps, Curtis Burch
Running Time: 83 minutes
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