2001: A Space Odyssey (with special guest reviewer Backwards Baseball Cap Bro)

 

DUDE! What the hell did I just watch? That was the boring piece of shit I have ever watched. I mean, seriously - I was expecting a kick ass space action film (like the bad ass Star Trek Into Darkness) but instead I was forced to watch a boring science lecture. DUDE! It seriously sucked! That was NAWT cool!!!!  I remember when I was fifteen and saw Independence Day for the first time, I was invested in that movie that when they destroyed the mother ship at the end, I jump up from my seat and accidentally spilled my nachos all over my flip flops. It was so BAD ASS! In comparison, in 2001, when that boring astronaut bro finally defeats that evil computer, I turned my best bro and said, "Is this scene ever going to end?"  He then fist bumped me and said, "Good one, bro!" We then decided to wash off the stink of this movie by going to the nearest bar and picking up some babes! Well, we were hoping to pick up some babes - but they were only like two in the place, and they were middle aged. Well, to be honest we did try t My bro and I were the kings of the keg stand in our youth - we were well known throughout our small town. After the shock of their initial rejection wore off, I asked "Don't you know who I am?" 
 They stared at me for a few seconds and nodded their heads in the negative and carried on with their conversation. I couldn't believe the disrespect on display. THAT WAS NAWT COOL!!! NAWT!!!

I've gone off a rant - let's get back to the movie. Uhhhhhhhhh.......I have nothing else really to say except that it SUCKS. The opening with the fake looking apes has got to be one of the lamest things I have ever seen. Worst of all, there was not a single hawt babe in the entire movie. In Star Trek Into Darkness - we got that scene where incredibly hawt Carol Marcus strips down to her bra and panties. That was so hawt - that my bro spilled his Mountain Dew all over himself. It literally made him wet....HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!!!!

(Editor's note: The views of Backwards Baseball Cap Bro do not represent the view of this blog. The only reason he was allowed to write a review was because he wouldn't stop pestering. "You got to let me write a review, bro!" I heard this every day for the month and I, unwisely, relented. Backwards Baseball Cap Bro also believe that "Mortal Kombat" is the greatest movie ever made)

Dude, MORTAL KOMBAT IS THE GREATEST MOVIE MADE! I give that movie FIVE FIST BUMPS!!!  

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

 

After the success of Scream in 1996, screenwriter Kevin Williamson became a hot name in Hollywood. In late 1997, he penned two box office hits that were released two months apart, I Know What You Did Last Summer (released on October 12, 1997) and Scream 2 (released on December 12, 1997).  I saw both movie in the theater with my friend Will and we felt a sense Deja vu while watching Scream 2 - there is a scene where the protagonist, Sidney, and her friend, Hallie, are trapped in the back of police car (after the killer has murdered the officers escorting them) and attempt an escape before the killer regains conscious. "Why does this scene look so familiar?" I asked Will.  Then we remembered that I Know What You Did Last Summer has a similar scene where Helen (Sarah Michelle Gellar) is trapped in the back of police car, after the killer has murdered the officer escorting her, and she must escape before he catches up with her.  Kevin Williamson had plagiarized himself. Granted, Scream 2 ups the stakes.  A month later, Williamson would find success on television with the premiere of Dawson's Creek (I had a female classmate who was obsessed with the show and would constantly talk about how "realistic" It was).  It is interesting to note that in I Know What You Did Last Summer, the four principal characters (Julie, Helen, Barry, and Ray) go to Dawson's Beach to fornicate and engage in other debaucherous behavior.  Williamson was already looking ahead to the future.  

While the Scream movies are meta-slashers, the characters know they are in a horror movie, I Know What You Did Last Summer is a straightforward horror movie. It is Kevin Williamson's equivalent of a cinematic campfire story - there is even a scene where Ray is telling his friends a classic urban legend ("The Hook") over a bonfire. His friends dismiss his claims that "The Hook" is based off a true story, but their lives soon turn into the horror story that Ray was narrating. Like most campfire stories, there is an underlying message to I Know What You Did Last Summer - don't drink and drive. Our protagonists initially take this lesson to heart - they drove to Dawson's Beach in Barry's car, but he is so shitfaced that Ray ends up driving.  While Ray is focused on the road, Barry becomes belligerent in the back seat and ends up spilling his bottle of booze all over Ray, who gets temporarily distracted and ends up hitting a pedestrian. If Barry had not behaved like a rowdy douche nozzle, there is a good chance the four of the would have lived normal lives. The four of them debate on what to do with the body - Barry, Ray, and Helen manage to peer pressure Julie into going along with their plan of dumping the corpse into the ocean. After they have committed the deed, they make a pact to never talk about it again. 
Flash forward to a year later - Julie is on her summer break from college and reluctantly returns home - she immediately receives an anonymous note that reads, "I Know What You Did Last Summer." It turns out Helen, Barry, and Ray have also received similar letters, and they must figure out who is behind them before it is too late. 

It is apparent that Williamson's sympathies lie with his two female protagonists, Julie and Helen. Barry is an incredibly unlikable character - he has a violent temper, bullies the weak, and is dismissive towards Julie and Helen. Ray has the least amount of screentime of the four and barely registers as a character - he is assigned the thankless role of the red herring. Neither of them seems all that effected by the incident - Ray becomes a fisherman (like his father) and Barry continues to be a self-centered dipshit. 

Julie is the character we immediately sympathize with - after the accident, she wanted to go to the cops but was shot down by Ray and Barry. It is Barry and Helen who end up pushing the body into the ocean while Ray and Julie look on. This incident has haunted Julie throughout her freshman year of college - she spends most of her free time in her dorm, doesn't make any new friends (with the exception of her roommate), and struggles in her courses. It also has affected her physical appearance - she is extremely pale, has rings under her eyes, her hair is oily (due to a lack of washing) and she is very thin. She has also cut off all contact from her Helen, Barry, and Ray.  When Ray tries to have a heart to heart with Julie, she shoots him down by saying, "I don't blame you, but I don't want to know you, either." This makes sense - every time she sees Ray she is reminded of that horrible night.  

Jennifer Love Hewitt is well cast in the role of Julie; she brings such a vulnerability to the character that the audience immediately wants to protect her (well, at least the males in the audience. I can't speak for the females). It was also this movie that spawned websites devoted to Hewitt's ample cleavage. I was eighteen when this movie came out and I will admit that my attention was often focused on Hewitt's bouncing bosom - to the point that missed out on a few scares. "HUH? What just happened?" In 1997, Jennifer Love Hewitt was the IT girl for dudes my age. I know, I should be ashamed and I am... any ways, back to the review.  Julie is the intellectual one of the group - her first instinct is to unmask their stalker is and the only way to do that is by figuring out who David Egan (the guy they supposedly ran over) was. Julie is a good little two shoes at the beginning of the movie - when her nerdy classmate, Max, asks her out on a date, she is too polite to give him a full rejection and tries to give him a noncommittal answer (note to men who are reading this: if a woman responds to a question with "maybe," she means "no").  However, as the movie progresses, Julie gets tired of running from her problems and decides to face them head on, regardless of the consequences. She does make a critical mistake by doubting Ray and trusting a complete stranger, but she is much wiser person by the movie's end. 

In what was a novel idea at the time - she types David Egan's name into an online search engine and is able to pull up articles about the deceased David. She learns he was engaged to Suzie Willis, who is the daughter of Ben Willis (the man they really hit with their car and who is responsible for the threats on their lives).  Suzie was killed in a car accident and Ben blamed David for his daughter's death. He murdered David on the 4th of July and then was run over by Ray after having dumped David's body into the ocean. 

Helen is a tragic character - before the accident, her ambition was to move to New York and become an actress. She did move to New York, but she couldn't cut it in the big city and wound up back in her hometown (Southport).  She is now content with working fulltime in her father's department store; even though she is constantly hounded by her older sister, Elsa. She is the type of girl who turn heads in her small town (she is the reigning Southport beauty queen), but in New York City, she is just another face in the crowd and would have either been a waitress or a barista.  It was during this time that Sarah Michelle Gellar was starring in Buffy, the Vampire Slayer and she is cast against type as the slightly ditzy Helen (she also played on Ghostface's victims in Scream 2). However, it is actually Helen who drives most of the third act - as the reigning beauty queen she is obligated to ride on a float in 4th of July parade and crown the new beauty queen. Julie and Helen are hoping that her appearance in the parade will draw out the killer (who always wears a slicker) and then Barry can apprehend him. This plan, of course, fails and Barry is murdered in the balcony while watching the beauty contest. Helen doesn't make it either - she is only a few feet from safety when Ben Willis catches her. Like I said, Helen is the most tragic character in the movie - she begins the movie full of life and one incident (caused her dumbass boyfriend) ruins everything and, despite her best efforts, she fails to change her untimely fate. 

Though, if you go by the sequel, it seems like Julie is destined to spend the rest of her life fighting off the unkillable Ben Willis (the guy is constantly put through the ringer but always gets back up again. He is embodiment of the Chumbawamba song, "Tubthumping").  Though, if Ben Willis' main motivation is revenge, why does he murder Max and Elsa? The police officer makes sense as he is in Ben Willis' way, but he goes out of the way to murder Max and Elsa. Also, his plan requires a lot of foresight - what would he have done if Julie decided not to come home for summer break? It's also odd that he behaves less aggressively towards Ray than he does the other three. Also, how in the hell did he survive being hit by a car at a high speed and being weighed down in the ocean? He seems to be relatively unscathed by the accident - there is no noticeable limp and, other than a scar on his forehead, no disfigurements. Muse Watson, with his gravelly voice and imposing figure, is a great screen villain - it is shame that he has very little screen time (in both Last Summer movies). 

Roger Ebert very famously gave I Know What You Did Last Summer a one-star review - his biggest complaint seems to be that it was formulaic and lacked the cleverness of Scream. While Roger Ebert isn't wrong, he also ignores that it is a fairly well-made thriller - efficiently directed by Jim Gillespie, who manages to move things along at a fast pace. It also interesting to note that this was Gillespie's only major directing credit - the only other notable movie on his resume is the obscure Sylvester Stallone thriller, Eye See You.  I Know What You Did Last Summer is not a perfect horror movie, but I do have a soft spot for it - I watch it every couple of years, and it takes me back to 1997 when I was senior in high school, the Green Bay Packers were Super Bowl champs, and the world didn't seem too complicated.

Cast: Jennifer Love Hewitt (Julie James), Sarah Michelle Gellar (Helen Shivers), Ray Phillippe (Barry Cox), Freddie Prinze Jr. (Ray Bronson), Muse Watson (Ben Willis), Anne Heche (Melissa 'Missy' Egan), Bridgitte Wilson (Elsa Shivers), Johnny Galecki (Max Neurick), Deborah Hobart (Mrs. James), Stuart Greer (Officer), Jonathan Quint (David Egan).
Director: Jim Gillespie
Writer:  Kevin Williamson. Based off the Lois Duncan novel.
Running Time: 100 minutes. 

My Top 100 Horror/Monster Movies

 

A decade ago, I did a ranking of my top 25 Horror/Monster movies. However, since then I have seen more movies and a few of those movies have either gone up or down in the rankings. I have decided to update my list and expand it to my top 100 Horror/Monster movies. The movies are listed in chronological order (it goes from the silent era to present day). There are a few choices that I'm sure will baffle a few readers, but this is MY Top 100 list, not a greatest list. Without further ado, here are my top 100 Horror/Monster movies:

1. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)
2. The Golem (1922)
3. Nosferatu (1922)
4.  Haxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages (1922)
5. The Phantom of the Opera (1925)
6. The Cat and the Canary (1927)
7. Frankenstein (1931)
8. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1932)
9. Freaks (1932)
10. The Mummy (1932)
11. Doctor X (1932)
12. Island of Lost Souls (1932)
13. Mystery of the Wax Museum (1933)
14. King Kong (1933)
15. The Invisible Man (1933)
16. The Black Cat (1934)
17. The Raven (1935)
18. Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
19. Mad Love 1935)
20. Son of Frankenstein (1939)
21. The Wolfman (1941)
22. I Walked with a Zombie (1943)
23. The Seventh Victim (1943)
24. Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
25. The Body Snatcher (1945)
26. Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)
27. House of Wax (1953)
28. The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms (1953)
29. The War of the Worlds (1953)
30. Creature From the Black Lagoon (1954)
31. Them! (1954)
32. Godzilla (1954)
33. Night of the Hunter (1955)
34. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
35. Horror of Dracula (1958)
36. The Mummy (1959)
37. A Bucket of Blood (1959)
38. Psycho (1960)
39. House of Usher (1960)
40. Black Sunday (1960)
41. Brides of Dracula (1960)
42. The Pit and the Pendulum (1961)
43. Carnival of Souls (1962)
44. Black Sabbath (1963)
45. The Haunting (1963)
46. Kwaidan (1964)
47. The Masque of the Red Death (1964) 
48. Onibaba (1965)
49. Dracula - Prince of Darkness (1966)
50. Quartermass and the Pit (1967)
51. Rosemary's Baby (1968)
52. The Devil's Bride (1968)
53. Night of the Living Dead (1968)
54. The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)
55. Bay of Blood (1972)
56. The Exorcist (1973)
57. Sisters (1973)
58. Young Frankenstein (1974)
59. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
60. The Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
61. Black Christmas (1974)
62. Deep Red (1975)
63. Jaws (1975)
64. Carrie (1976)
65. Suspiria (1977)
66. Empire of Passion (1977)
67. House (1977)
68. Halloween (1978)
69. Dawn of the Dead (1978)
70. Salem's Lot (1979)
71. Alien (1979)
72. The Shining (1980)
73. Inferno (1980
74. The Fog (1980)
75. The Howling (1981)
76. An American Werewolf in London (1981)
77. Friday the 13th, Part 2 (1981)
78. The Thing (1982)
79. Poltergeist (1982)
80. The Evil Dead (1983)
81. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
82. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
83. Gremlins (1984)
84. Return of the Living Dead (1985)
85. Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
86. The Re-Animator (1986)
87. Aliens (1986)
88. Evil Dead II (1987)
89. Predator (1987)
90. Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors (1987)
91. Silence of the Lambs (1991)
92. Scream (1996)
|93. I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)
94. Audition (1998)
95. Ringu (1998)
96. Dark Water (2002)
97. The Host (2006)
98. Sweeney Todd (2007) 
99. Coraline (2009)
100. Godzilla Minus One (2023) 

Marry My Husband (2024)

The most fascinating aspect of K-dramas is their ability to take a silly premise and transform it into watchable, compelling television. Marry My Husband could have been an unwatchable mess – with its different timelines and various subplots – but manages to be consistently entertaining thanks to its sincere cast and interesting plot twists. The show’s premise is insane – Kang Ji-won is a middle-aged woman who has been diagnosed with cancer and walks in on her husband, Min-hwan, having an affair with her best friend, Su-min.  There is a physical altercation that ends with Min-hwan killing Ji-won (he pushes her into a glass coffee table – her head hits the edge and shatters the table).  However, this is not the end for Ji-won – she wakes up ten years in the past (2013) and is given a second chance at life. She is determined to change her future, but there is a catch – her initial fate gets passed onto someone else. The unintended consequence of this is that her co-worker/friend, Yang Ju-ran, ends up getting her stomach cancer.  Ji-won is determined to change her fate (and save Ju-ran) by passing her fate onto Su-min and Min-hwan. She also finds a sympathetic ear in Yoo Ji-hyuk, who is the marketing manager at her job (U&K Food) and the grandson of the company’s founder. He helps Ji-won plot her revenge against Su-min and Min-hwan.

The biggest assets of Marry My Husband are its likable cast and interesting characters:

Kang Ji-won (Park Min-young)

When we first meet Ji-won, the gastric cancer has taken its toll on her – she has an ashen complexion and is in the hospital. If the cancer wasn’t bad enough, she is married to Min-hwan, who is an overgrown child and offers no support, and she must deal with an overbearing mother-in-law (when Ji-won announces she has cancer, her mother-in-law can only think about how it will impact her son).  The only support she gets is from her best friend Su-min, who is the only one that visits Ji-won at the hospital. However, Ji-won’s world comes crashing down when she catches her best friend having an affair with her husband about; even worse its Su-min’s cavalier attitude about the whole thing – she doesn’t show any remorse but rather scolds Jo-win for being selfish.  When Min-hwan suggests killing Ji-won for the insurance, Su-min coldly laughs about it. The old Ji-won was the kind of person who would rather be in a bad relationship than be alone. In her case, the two people she was dependant on were Min-hwan and Su-min, despite his abusive behavior and Su-min constantly gaslighting her. That is why their betrayal is so hurtful – they were supposed to be her support system, and they are casually talking about killing her (on top of sleeping with each other). 

After her rebirth, Ji-won is not going to squander the second chance that has been given to her and she goes through a radical change. The old Ji-won was an introverted pushover, but the new version of her is assertive and outgoing.  In the past, she would excuse Su-min’s backstabbing, but now she is no longer going to let it slide. She not only has a personality change but a financial one, as well – one of the first things she does in the new timeline is invest in stock (she puts her money in a company she knows will be successful in the future). Before she falls in love with Ji-hyuk, she is already on stable financial ground.  It is a remarkable performance by the appealing Park Min-young – she manages to give two distinct performances. In the scenes where she is playing the old Ji-won, she slouches, never makes eye contact, and talks with a slight stammer.  This is a woman devoid of any confidence and agency – she is willing to tolerate the abuse that his heaped upon her. When she is playing the new, and improved, Ji-won, she can look her nemesis in the eye, walks with perfect posture, and speaks in a clear, confident manner.  When Su-min starts throwing a temper tantrum, Ji-won takes on an ice-cold demeanor – she is no longer moved by Su-min’s crocodile tears.  

In her previous life, Ji-won was dependent on Min-hwan and Su-min – even though she was married and had a “best friend,” she was still very much alone. When Ji-won is in the hospital for her cancer treatment, Min-hwan doesn’t even have the courtesy to visit her. In her new life, she forms a bond with two of her co-workers, Ju-ran and Hui-yeon. She finds a powerful ally in Ji-hyuk and buries the hatchet with her high school crush, Baek Eun-ho, who is also a successful chef.  This irritates Su-min, who used to hold on monopoly on Ji-won's friendship. It isn’t just her own fate that Ji-won alters, but her co-workers as well, but I will get to that later. 

Yoo Ji-hyuk (Na In-woo)

Ji-hyuk is the Marketing Manager of U&K Food (and the grandson of the company’s founder), he is also Ji-won’s biggest supporter.  It is revealed that, like Ji-won, Ji-hyuk has been given a second chance at life. In 2023, he was killed in a car crash and then found himself back in 2013.  It is heavily implied that Ji-hyuk was sent back in time by Ji-won’s deceased father to help her out. In his previous life, his biggest regret was that he never acted on his feelings towards Ji-won.  The two of them met in college; Ji-hyuk bumped into a drunken Ji-won on the streets and, out of concern for her safety, kept her company the entire night.  Years later, when she showed up for her first day of work at U&K, Ji-hyuk recognized her but her memories of that night were hazy, and she doesn’t remember him. They are also connected in another way – they both took turns taking care of a stray cat; eventually Ji-hyuk took in the cat. It wasn’t until he attended Ji-won’s funeral that he realized the feelings had for her and, before his death, he takes a cab (driven by the ghost of Ji-won’s father) and wished for a second chance. 

In his previous life, Ji-hyuk was cold and distant. He always kept his emotions in check and all his relationships were business in nature. He rarely ever smiles – when Ji-won sees him smile for the first time, she is surprised and suggests that he needs to smile more.
He was also in an arranged marriage with Oh Yu-ra, who runs a subsidiary of U&K Food.  He called off the engagement (with Yu-ra’s blessing) because it was devoid of any passion. Yet, despite his cold demeanor, he did look after his stepsister, Hui-yeon.
In his new life, due to Ji-won’s influence, Ji-hyuk becomes a more compassionate and outgoing man.  Their relationship is complicated – he is in love with her, but is hesitant to get romantically involved with her, out of fear that his time on earth is limited.  He doesn’t always agree with her methods, but he is always supportive of her.  Ji-won had wasted her previous life in a one-sided relationship with Min-hwan; therefore, it is a relief when she finds someone who is willing to support her through thick and thin. Even when Ji-won briefly calls off the relationship (after learning about Yu-ra) he still looks after her.  Ji-hyuk doesn’t want a weak and submissive woman, he wants one that can stand up for herself, which is why he gives her lessons in self-defense (which pay off big time in the series finale).  

Park Min-hwan (Lee Yi-kyung)

Min-hwan was Ji-won’s philandering husband in her previous life. In the new timeline, he is still her co-worker at U&K (they are both on the same marketing team).  He is a violent individual, when Ji-won suggests they break up, he makes a scene and threatens to use physical violence against her.  This is when Ji-won realizes she can’t just simply break up with Min-hwan, she is going to have to come up with a plan to push Su-min on him. 

Min-hwan is an overgrown child – he spends most of his free time playing video games, and trying to hook up with random women, and is still depends on his mother to run his life (after he proposes to Su-min, it is his mother who makes all the decisions regarding the wedding). When his mother was constantly scolding Ji-won during their marriage, he never came to his beleaguered wife’s defense – he was more focused on his video games. This is really a great performance by Lee Yi-kyung – the first time we meet Min-hwan we can sense that he is a slimeball. You instantly hate the guy and wonder why a sweet woman like Ji-won would marry a scumbag like Min-hwan.  

He is also incredibly stupid - throughout the series, various people (Ji-won, Su-min, and Yu-ra) manipulate Min-hwan into doing their bidding. He is physically intimidating but is small mentally.  He also constantly plays the victim card – when he gets called out on his bullshit, he constantly makes excuses (though, he is not as bad as Su-min).  He is at home bullying weaker people like the old Ji-won but is in over his head when it comes to people like Yu-ra, Ji-hyuk, and the new Ji-won.

Jeong Su-min (Son Ha-yoon)

In the original timeline, Su-min was Ji-won’ s best friend, who was having an affair with Min-hwan. When Ji-won walks in on the two of them in bed together, Su-min’s shows no remorse for her action and even tries to pin the blame on Ji-won for “being selfish.”  Ji-won and Su-min have been best friends since they were fifteen, which makes this act of betrayal even worse.  It is slowly revealed that Su-min always resented Ji-won; she has spent her entire adult life coveting everyone and everything that was Ji-won’s. Her motto is “If I’m not happy, then Ji-won can’t be happy, either.”
She was the reason that Ji-won was bullied throughout high school – Su-min was a master manipulator and would project her actions onto Ji-won; she told their classmates that Ji-won was trying to steal away her crush (Baek Eun-ho) and that Ji-won kept leeching off her generosity (in reality it was the opposite).  She was also responsible for coming between Ji-won and her first love, Eun-ho, by writing a dismissive, mean spirted letter and signing it in Ji-won’s name. When he told Ji-won he never wanted to speak to her again, this left her flabbergasted. 

Son Ha-yoon gives my favorite performance in the show; despite all the terrible things Su-min does throughout the series, Son manages to give the character a human face and there were even a few times where I felt genuine sympathy for the character.  Sure, Su-min is a psychopath, but neither of her parents really passed down on values onto their daughter (her father ran out on her when she fifteen) – she was thrown to the wolves at a young age and being a manipulative, lying bitch was how she survived high school.  It turned into a habit for her that she just couldn’t stop. It doesn’t justify her treatment of Ji-won, but it’s credit to the writers and Son Ha-yoon that the character isn’t a one-dimensional baddie. Ji-won had a similar upbringing, but the difference is that her father was there to instill values into her.  If her father had been a deadbeat, Ji-won could have easily grown up to be like Su-min.

In her new timeline, Ji-won knows all Su-min’s tricks and counters all of them. Ji-won and Su-min attend their high school reunion and Ji-won uses it as an opportunity to clear the air with all her classmates. She explains her side of the story and has proof to back it up; her classmates feel terrible and turn on Su-min. The nice thing about this plotline is that while her classmates try to make up for their mistreatment of Ji-won (they crash Min-hwan and Su-min’s wedding later in the series), she doesn’t entirely forgive them.  These girls were genuinely awful to Ji-won throughout high school, and it would be nearly impossible to forgive such a harsh treatment. At the reunion, after the cat has been let out of the bag, Su-min tries to justify her lies and when that doesn’t work, she plays the victim card. 

The biggest irony about Su-min is she dislikes Ji-won, but she also can’t live without her. Ji-won has been the bane of Su-min’s existence since they were fifteen, so she has never developed her own personality.  Everything about her is a façade – when she is about get trouble for screwing up a marketing assignment and trying to pin the blame on Ji-won, she falls to the ground and screams that she is pregnant.  Ji-won knows this story is bullshit (Min-hwan is impotent), but it suits her purpose (Min-hwan proposes to Su-min afterwards) and she keeps her mouth shut. 

Baek Eun-ho (Lee Gik-wang)

Eun-ho was Ji-won’s first love, who went onto become a successful chef. He reconnects with Ji-won at the high school reunion and, once she clears the air, he apologizes for his rash judgment and wants to start over again with her.  In the first half of the series, Ji-hyuk attempts to play matchmaker for Ji-won and Eun-ho – it was Ji-hyuk who informed Eun-ho about the high school reunion (and told him that Ji-won would be attending). He is a constant patron at Eun-ho’s restaurant, because he wants to gauge whether Eun-ho is trustworthy or not.  However, while Ji-won likes Eun-ho, her heart belongs to Ji-hyuk, and she does her best to let Eun-ho down in the nicest way possible.  Eun-ho is, naturally, heartbroken but he doesn’t let bring him down too long.  Plus, he is a given a happy ending - he becomes romantically involved with Hui-yeon and a business partner with Ji-won. 

Lee Gik-wang has the most difficult job in entire series, Baek Eun-ho is the least interesting character in the series, but he has a pleasant personality that it is easy enough to root for him.  He also shows a lot of character – when Yu-ra buys out his restaurant and fires the staff, she gives him the choice of either getting paid or being unemployed. Bear in mind, if he refuses her offer, she will use her connections to have him blackballed in the restaurant business. He remains firm in his convictions and refuses her offer. He is later rewarded for his convictions when Ji-won asks him to endorse U&K’s meal boxes. He agrees and is saved from being unemployed. 

Yang Ju-ran (Gong Min-jeung)

Yang Ju-ran is the assistant manager of Ji-won’s marketing team. In her previous life, Ji-won rarely interacted with Ju-ran – their entire relationship was all business.  In her new life, she befriends Ju-ran and the two of them become inseparable. Ju-ran is a mirror image of Ji-won’s old self – she is quiet and a total pushover. She is also married to a deadbeat husband, who is more concerned with playing video games than taking care of their son. Her parents offer him a job at their restaurant, and he starts having an affair with one of the waitresses. One of the unintended consequences of Ji-won changing her life is that her original fate gets passed off to Ju-ran. She is diagnosed with stomach cancer; luckily the doctors are able to catch it early and can save her life with surgery (Ji-hyuk pays for the doctors and the surgery).  When Ji-won finds out about Ju-ran’s two-timing husband; she is convinced he is going murder Ju-ran.  She is determined to prevent Ju-ran from suffering the same fate as her old self. 

Ju-ran has a similar character arc as Ji-won – she goes from being shy, insecure woman to being assertive and brimming with confidence, thanks to the support she receives from Ji-won, Ji-hyuk, and Hui-yeon. She even gets a massive upgrade in her love life – she divorces her deadbeat husband and becomes romantically involved with Lee Suk-jun, who works in U&K Human Resources and is the right-hand man of Ji-hyuk’s grandfather; he is also a first-rate lawyer.  He is an interesting character in his own right, so I will get to him later.

Yoo Hui-yeon (Choi Gyu-ri)

Hui-yeon is Ji-won’s co-worker and, more importantly, Ji-hyuk’s younger stepsister.  She is the first new friend that Ji-won makes in her new life. She is a one-dimensional character – she has a perky personality and is loyal to all her friends. Ji-hyuk and her constantly bicker, but deep down they genuinely care about one another.  She is elated when she finds out that Ji-hyuk is dating Ji-won; her brother’s ex-fiancée, Yu-ra, was a cold and distant woman who made everyone around her miserable. Ji-won is a breath of fresh air.  Hui-yeon later becomes romantically involved with Eun-ho. It is happy ending for everyone…. well except for Min-hwan, Su-min, and Yu-ra (who deserve their fates).

Kim Gyeong-uk (Kim Joong-he)

Kim Gyeong-uk is, initially, the manager of Ji-won’s marketing team. He is a misogynist, who constantly scolds his female employees and is too lazy to read their proposals. He also takes credit for Ji-won’s meal box idea, but after he botches the roll out (thanks to Min-hwan and Su-min), he is demoted, and Ju-ran is promoted to manager.  At first, he is disrespectful towards Ju-ran; he scolds her for being a few minutes later (even though he was never on time when he was manager) and is unsympathetic towards her problems at home (her stomach cancer and cheating husband), but Ju-ran eventually grows a spine and puts Gyeong-uk in his place (thanks to the support of Ji-won and Hui-yeon).  Despite being a misogynist, Gyeong-uk is madly in love with Su-min. He always gives her preferential treatment and overlooks all her flaws.  When Su-min marries Min-hwan, Gyeong-uk’s world is shattered. The writers deserve a lot of credit with this character – they manage to give him a character arc.  He isn’t an entirely different person at the show’s end, but he is a humbler man.  In a lesser show, this kind of character often comes to an untimely end. I know this isn’t a popular opinion – but being a misogynist is not worthy of the death sentence (despite what modern Hollywood tells you).

Oh Yu-ra (BoA)

The interesting thing about Oh Yu-ra is that, even though she is the main villain, she doesn’t appear until the series midway points. She is Ji-hyuk’s ex-fiancée – it was a mutual break up, neither of them genuinely loved one another. However, Yu-ra beings to sing a different tune when she notices the change in Ji-hyuk’s personality, and the fact that he is in love with another woman genuinely pisses her off. When Ji-won learns about Yu-ra, out of respect, she breaks up with Ji-hyuk (without hearing his full side of the story).  However, this isn't good enough for Yu-ra and she wants to completely remove Ji-won from the picture; she offers Min-hwan and Su-min an ungodly sum of money to murder Ji-won.  What makes Yu-ra a frightening villain is not only her lack of conscience, but she has the money and connections to carry out her revenge. She also makes sure that the attempt on Ji-won’s life can’t be traced back to her – she pays her co-conspirators in cash and even attempts to murder the two would be assassins (Su-min’s father and Ji-won’s estranged mother), out of fear that they might talk too much. Ji-hyuk’s grandfather, Yoo Han-il, is blinded by Yu-ra’s charms and keeps insisting that Ji-hyuk get back together with her (it would be sound business decision).  Yu-ra has a violent history – in jealous rage, she often assaulted any woman who get “too close” to Ji-hyuk – and the company would cover up these incidents by buying the silence of her victims. 

Lee Suk-jun (Ha Do-kwon)

Lee Suk-jun is Han-il’s right hand man and the head of U&K’s Strategic Planning. His main job, initially, is to keep an eye on Ji-hyuk and report all his moves to Han-il. Our initial impression of the character is a negative one – he has a cold demeanor and is off putting at times. However, we soon realize that his bark is worse than his bite, and despite his cold exterior, he is a softy at heart. This is first hinted at when discovers Ju-ran crying in the stock room and, while he mildly scolds her, he allows her to air out her grievances. He later helps Ju-ran with her divorce from her two-timing husband – he is a top-notch lawyer and offers up his services. By the series end, Ju-ran and he are a couple – we are shown his more lighthearted side when he cracks a joke at the dinner table.

Yoo Han-il (Mong Sung-keun)

Yoo Han-il is the Ji-hyuk and Hui-yeon’s grandfather and the founder of U&K Group. His relationship with Ji-hyuk is a contentious one – he constantly scolds Ji-hyuk for his business decisions and love life. Han-il initially objects to Ji-hyuk’s romance with Ji-won, but he has a change of heart once he meets her (and after Yu-ra is exposed as a complete psychopath). 

Marry My Husband shares similar themes with our K-dramas; the most obvious is the tendency of the characters to jump the wrong conclusions (even our heroine isn’t immune to this) – when Yu-ra comes back into Ji-hyuk’s life, Ji-won doesn’t allow him to explain his side of his story, she assumes that he was two-timing Yu-ra and that she was the reason Ji-hyuk broke off his engagement to Yu-ra.
In high school, Eun-ho receives a rejection letter, and assumes it is from Ji-won, and publicly tells her that he doesn’t ever want to see her again. It never occurs to him to get confirmation from Ji-won and ask her if the letter is from her.  The girls who bullied Ji-won only did so because they believed Su-min’s lies, they never bothered to hear Ji-won’s side of the story.  This theme even extends to characters like Ju-ran and Suk-jun they both misread one another. She believes he is a cold and distant person, and he is annoyed by her timid demeanor. As the series progresses, she becomes more assertive and opens himself up to her.  Ju-ran is a lot stronger than he (and, for matter, she) assumed and he proves to be more compassionate than she initially believed.  They are both good people, who occasionally make mistakes.

 After Su-min and Min-hwan get married, they both make false assumptions about one another – she believes that she will be walking into financial stable situation, and he thinks she will be a more traditional wife (who also works a full-time job). Instead, Su-mins finds out that Min-hwan is drowning in debt and Su-min is too outspoken in her opinions to be a traditional wife. While Ji-won, in her previous life, always bent the knee to Min-hwan’s overbearing mother, Su-min doesn’t tolerate being scolded and takes control of the situation. She completely blindsides Min-hwan’s mother – before the marriage, Su-min is cooperative and says all the right things, afterwards the gloves come off and Su-min emerges the victor.

This brings me to the next interesting aspect of Marry My Husband – the characters are constantly putting up an act (often to the point where we get a performance within a performance). After Ji-won is given her second chance, she sees through Su-min’s act but will wear a false face of sympathy to throw off Su-min.  There is even a point in the series, where to enact her revenge (and to prevent her initial fate being passed onto Ju-ran) she flirts with Min-hwan and asks if they can get back together.  The theory behind this plan is that Su-min will find out about this, confront Min-hwan, and he will end up murdering her.  Su-min plays the role of Ji-won’s best friend, but then constantly talks behind her back and attempts to derail Ji-won’s life. Min-hwan is the biggest pretender of them all – he plays the role of the Alpha Male, but he is a weakling who is still beholden to his domineering mother. Like most bullies, Min-hwan picks on those weaker than him, but completely folds when he encounters an opponent of equal or greater strength.  Ju-ran will often put on a brave face and play the role of the loyal wife, despite being married to a two-timing manchild.  In Ju-ran’s case, she is a woman who always sells herself short and is willing to go along to get along.  When Gyeong-uk takes Ji-won’s name off the meal box project, Ju-ran is troubled by this, but she doesn’t say anything out of fear that it might get her fired. Later in the series, Ji-won’s estranged mother comes back into her life, and it initially seems she wants to have a genuine relationship with her daughter; the two of them have a mother-daughter outing. However, it is revealed that Ji-won's mother is only interested in her daughter's money and only approached Ji-won at the behest of Su-min. 

Interesting, the three straight shooters in the cast are Ji-hyuk, Eun-ho, and Hui-yeon. Ji-hyuk willingly goes along with Ji-won’s schemes, but he can’t hide his contempt for Min-hwan and Su-min.  Ji-hyuk doesn’t set out to mislead people – the only reason he doesn’t tell Ji-won about Yu-ra is because the two of them haven’t spoken to each other in years (there is really nothing to tell). 
Eun-ho wants to have a genuine relationship with Ji-won and when she turns him down, he is, of course, heartbroken but he doesn’t dwell on it.   Hui-yeon is a good-natured woman who just wants to be everyone’s friend – there is not a mean spirted bone in her body.

The writing in Marry My Husband is consistently clever; one of the show’s better moments is when Ji-won and Ji-hyuk betray each other’s secret – they are having a conversation about the K-pop group, BTS, and they both reference a song that has not yet been released. It takes them a few seconds to realizes their faux pas and then they both clean about being from the future.  This is a very believable and, more importantly, naturalistic moment that overcomes the stumbling block of exposition. Instead of giving us an awkward scene where the two characters reveal their secret to one another, they reveal themselves accidentally and, after the initial shock, recognize they are kindred spirits. It also doesn’t disrupt the show’s breezy pace.   In the past few months, I have watched a bunch of K-dramas and, so far, Marry My Husband is my favorite one out of the whole lot (with The Kidnapping Day is a close second). You have my permission to skip My Unfortunate Boyfriend (I was tempted to write a review but it’s not worth my time).

Cast: Park Min-young (Kang Ji-won), Na In-woo (Yoo Ji-hyuk), Lee Yi-kyung (Park Min-hwan), Son Ha-yoon (Jeong Su-min), Lee Gi-kwang (Baek Eun-ho), Gong Min-jeung (Yang Ju-ran), Choi Gyu-ri (Yoo Hui-yeon), Kim Joong-hee (Kim Gyeong-uk), Ha Do-kwon (Lee Suk-jun), BoA (Oh Yu-ra),  Moon Sung – keun (Yoo Han-il), Jung Kyung-soon (Kim Ja-ok), Jung Suk-young (Kang Hyun-mo), Cho Jin-se (Cho Dong-seok), Moon Soo-young (Kim Shin-woo), Bae Geu-rin (Ha Ye-ji), Jang Jae-ho (Lee Jae-won), Jung Jae-seong (Mang Heung-in), Kang Sang-jun (Yoo Sang-jong – Min-hwan’s friend), Lee Jeong-eun (Hee-sook – Ji-won’s estranged mother).

Directors: Park Won-guk, Han Jin-seon
Writer: Shin Yoo-dam
16 episodes ~ 60 minutes

Them! (1954)

The dropping of the Atomic Bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki (an act of war – though some would argue war crime) officially marked the beginning of the Atomic Age.  The military would spend the next decade denoting nuclear bombs (first the A-Bomb, then the H-bomb) across the globe. This led many concerned citizens to wonder: What potential horrors would be unleashed by these nuclear weapons?  Hollywood studios spent the next few decades exploiting public’s legitimate concerns by producing endless science fiction movies that focused on the unintended side effects of The Bomb.

The best out of the bunch is the 1954 classic, Them!, produced by Warners Brothers, who were looking to capitalize on this new genre.  Them! introduced a brand-new gimmick to science fiction – GIANTS ANTS!!!!! The movie proved to be such a hit that soon the other studios were producing “giant insects on the loose” movies – such titles include The Deadly Mantis, Tarantula, The Beginning of the End (giant grasshoppers), Earth vs the Spider, and many more.

Warner Brothers initially had ambitious plans for Them! – it was going to be shot in color and 3D.
A few color tests were shot but when it came time to shoot the 3D tests, the camera malfunctioned. The next day, the studio heads scrapped the original plans and decided to shoot Them! in black and white, and 2D.  It is a shame that Warner Brothers abandoned the 3D and color aspects of the movie – it would have made for one hell of a shock when the first giant ant lunges at the camera.

Whatever Them! lacks in the special effects department, it makes up in its first-rate cast. It is surprising that Warner Brothers was able to bring in heavy hitters like James Whitmore (who was nominated for the Best Supporting Actor in 1950) and Edmund Gwenn (who won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar in 1948, for his portrayal of Kris Kringle in Miracle on 34^th Street). It is also interesting how few of the supporting cast went onto successful television careers:  James Arness (who co-star as FBI agent Robert Graham) would be catapulted into stardom the following year with his role as Marshall Matt Dillon in Gunsmoke; Fess Parker (who plays a patient in a psych ward) would also make a splash the following year as Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier; and Leonard Nimoy has a bit part as an officer at a teletype machine.  

The ants were accomplished with the use of giant mockups, which are surprisingly effective. It helps that the ants are only briefly seen – we get a few glimpses now and then, but the filmmakers never allow the camera to linger too long on the mockups. It should be noted that in 1977, legendary schlockmeister, Bert I. Gordon (and Wisconsin native - woohoo) directed The Empire of the Ants.  Instead of using mockups, he relied on process shots – close ups of ants were combined with images of the actors on sets. However, Gordon was operating on a low budget and there are a few shots where the ants are transparent. He also reused a cost saving technique that was featured in The Beginning of the End – he had ants crawling on top of still photographs of the location. There are a few instances where the ants are crawling on the skyline.  The mockups used in Them! give a proper sense of scale and, more importantly, give something the actors can react to.

Them! is a well-directed movie.  Gordon Douglas was a director for hire, whose filmography includes a lot of B-movies (he also directed the last decent Laurel and Hardy movie, Saps at Sea).
His direction is efficient and, more importantly, he manages to take a silly premise (giants ant) and transform it into a tense thriller. There is no wasted moment in the movie.

 The first twenty minutes are especially well done. The movie begins as a mystery – it opens with a small girl, clutching a broken doll in her hand, wandering through the New Mexico desert in a state of shock. Two State Officers, Sgt. Ben Peterson and Trooper Ed Blackburn, come across the girl and their first thought is to find her parents. However, she is completely unresponsive to their questions. They eventually come across a car and trailer and conclude that this is where the girl came from. However, on closer inspection, the trailer is abandoned and one of its sides has been demolished. It cannot be theft because the money is still there. Outside of the trailer, they come across footprints in the sand but can’t identify the animal they belong to. They also hear this odd chirping sound (stridulation) off in the distance. Later, they come across a general store that has also been caved in. They find the corpse of the owner, Gramps, in the cellar. Ben deduces from the damage done to his body that Gramps was picked up and thrown into the cellar. They also find Gramps rifle has been snapped in half.  Other than the damage, the only thing that links these two locations together is sugar – there were sugar cubes in the trailer and there is barrel of sugar at the general store. These two scenes provide us with visual clues about the unknown assailants – based off the damage done to the trailer, we know they must be incredibly big. The offscreen chirping also indicates that they can communicate with one another. The discovery of sugar at both locations gives us the motive for the attacks. This is all done without a character spouting needless exposition.

Them! is not only a well-directed thriller, but a well-written one, as well – the characters consistently make intelligent decisions and bring a sense of urgency to the proceedings. When Sgt. Ben realizes this threat is beyond the scope of the New Mexico State Police, he contacts the FBI, who send agent Robert Graham to help with the investigation. However, Peterson and Graham are still stumped by the tracks found at the trailer and two myrmecologists, Dr. Harold Medford and his daughter Pat, are sent by the Department of Agriculture to lend assistance. When it is revealed that the tracks belong to giant ants, they come up with a well-coordinated plan of attack. Even the character of Pat is a competent character – after the military has gassed the ants’ nest, Ben and Robert are ready go down for reconnaissance and Pat insists on going along with them.  Robert initially objects, because she is a woman, but she holds her ground and points out they need an expert go down with them, someone who will know what to look for, and since her father is an elderly man that makes her the only choice. Robert grudgingly accepts her logic, and she goes down with them. It is Pat who points out the Queen Ants have escaped, and their mission has only just begun. The movie slightly hints at a potential romance between Robert and Pat – there is no scene where they make googly eyes at one another or go out for a romantic getaway – but their focus is solving the problem at hand. 

Edmund Gwenn, as the absent-minded Dr. Medford, brings much needed humor to the proceedings.  The humor in Them! is character driven – there is a scene where Dr. Medford is talking on two-way radio with Robert Graham but struggles with proper military protocol (he forgets to say “over” after he is done talking) and becomes increasing frustrated when Ben keeps having to remind him.  There are no scenes where Medford makes a quip while looking at the camera or engages in awkward slapstick. 

Most historians acknowledge the influence It! The Terror from Beyond Space had on the Alien franchise, but certainly the filmmakers were also inspired by Them! – there is a scene where our protagonists stumble upon the Queen Ant’s chamber, which is littered with unhatched eggs (you can even see movement coming from inside the egg). After Pat takes a few pictures, Ben whips out the flamethrower and burns the eggs to a crisp. This scene is eerily similar to the ending of Aliens, where Sigourney Weaver flambeaus the alien eggs in the Queen’s chamber.

Cast: James Whitmore (Sgt. Ben Peterson), Edmund Gwenn (Dr. Harold Medford), James Arness (Robert Graham), Joan Weldon (Dr. Patricia Medford), Onslow Stevens (Brigadier General Robert O’ Brien), Sean McClory (Major Kibbee), Christian Drake (Trooper Ed Blackburn), Sandy Descher (The Ellinson Girl), Mary Alan Hokanson (Mrs. Lodge), Don Shelton (Trooper Captain Fred Edwards), Fess Parker (Alan Crotty), Olin Howland (Jensen), Leonard Nimoy (Army Sargeant at Information Center).
Director: Gordon Douglas
Writers: Ted Sherdeman (screenplay), Russell S. Hughes (adaptation), George Worthington Yates (story)
Running Time: 94 minutes

The War of the Worlds (1953)

I have decided to take a break from K-dramas and the Green Bay Packers to revisit one of my favorite movies – George Pal’s 1953 adaptation of The War of the Worlds. This was a movie that made a huge impression on my seven-year self. As a kid, one of my jobs was to record programs for my dad on the VCR – he spent most of my childhood working third shift and always slept during day - which meantt, because of his sleep schedule, he would end up missing a lot of programs. When we bought our first VCR, it turned out to be a godsend for my dad– he would have me record the program and then watch it later.  One of these programs was The War of the Worlds.  My seven-year-old self was initially skeptical, “Did my dad expect me to sit through this boring old movie?”  My sister echoed my sentiments. I popped in the blank VHS tape (that my dad bought specifically for this purpose), pressed the record button on the VCR, and sat on the couch, fearing the absolute worst.  Now, you might ask, “Why couldn’t you just press record and walk away?” Well, my dad hated commercials, so we always cut them out of our recording. Our VCR had a slight defect, the remote control didn’t work, which meant that whenever a commercial break came up, I had to walk to the VCR and press the pause button (and then would have to hit the pause button again to continue recording).  Any ways, the movie started and within seconds I was hooked.  It begins with the voice of God (Cedric Hardwicke) narrating the plight of the Martians, as they decide on which planet to invade, and we are shown different alien landscapes. It is a visually striking montage and an effective way to open the movie.

One of the details that will be lost on modern audiences, but would have been mind-blowing to 1953 movie goers, is the use of the color.  In the 1950s, most studios viewed science fiction as B-movie fodder – they were made with a small budget and shot in black and white.  The studios were more interested in making a quick buck – they didn’t care about the overall quality of the film. The fact that many science fiction movies from this decade have become classics is due to the talent behind and front of the camera; the studios would have released them whether they were good or not. However, The War of the Worlds was different – Paramount studios didn’t think of it as merely a B movie and went all out to make the best film imaginable, including filming it in Three Strip Technicolor (this was reserved solely for their A pictures). However, since the studio would be pouring a lot of money into the more technical aspects of the movie, they had to settle for lesser-known actors in the lead roles. Gene Barry (as Dr. Clayton Forrester) would go on to find great success on television, but in 1953 but he was a relative unknown.  As for leading actress, Ann Robinson, The War of the World was the high point of her career – her filmography consists mostly of guest roles in various television shows (both Barry and her also have cameos in Steven Spielberg’s 2005 adaptation).

I rather like Gene Barry’s performance as Dr. Clayton Forrester – he is not the humorless stiff that often populated 1950s science fiction movies.  When the Martian invasion first begins, he is both terrified and excited about it – when he first sets eyes on the Martian Warships, he is unable to contain his excitement and exclaims, “THIS IS AMAZING!!!” This scientific half of his brain takes over and he cannot help but marvel at how more technologically advanced the Martians are.  Dr. Forrester has been alone his entire life – his parents died when he was a kid and there is no mention of siblings. He is a self-made man – he was able to get ahead in life due to his intellectual superiority and curiosity. When the farmhouse Sylvia and he have taken shelter in is surrounded by the Martian Warships, his curious nature takes over and he must get a good look at them. However, as the Martian threat becomes more serious, and all the military/scientific attempts to stop them prove to be futile, he can only take shelter in a church and pray for the best.  It is a humbling experience for Dr. Forrester – he begins the movie convinced of his intellectual superiority but by the movie’s end can only join the masses in praying for divine intervention.  

Ann Robinson is adequate as Forrester’s love interest, Sylvia Van Buren. I remember watching this movie in the 8^th grade (we read the novel and brought in my VHS copy of the film at the behest of our English teacher) and many of my classmates got annoyed at her hysterics.  Oddly enough there are only two brief scenes where Sylvia loses it, otherwise she is calm and collected – she even looks after an unconscious Forrester after a cylinder crash lands into the farmhouse. Not to mention, Sylvia has every right to be hysterical – not only is the Earth being invaded by Martians, but she also witnessed her beloved uncle, Pastor Collins, get vaporized by a Martian Warship. Most people would be a bit unhinged after witnessing that.  It is pays to remember that this movie was released in 1953, which means that good number of men would have served in World War Two, and therefore would have experienced war firsthand. Sylvia, on the other hand, would have been a teenage girl during WWII, living a sheltered life in a small town, and wouldn’t be as equipped to handle this situation. Sylvia comes from a big family and this is really the first time she has been alone. 

In H.G. Wells’ novel, the narrator gets separated from his wife and he spends most of the narrative trying to find her. It is episodic in nature - with our beleaguered narrator encountering various people and dangers on the way. In the movie, Dr. Forrester and Sylvia first meet at the crash site and have a pleasant exchange.  In a span of a few days, the two of them have gone through a lot, and it is perfectly believable that Dr. Forrester would risk his life at the end of the movie to find her.  In fact, Dr. Forrester has embraced his fate – he is convinced that this is the end times and wants to spend his final moments with the woman he loves. The romance in The War of the Worlds is hinted at – there is no declaration of love from Dr. Forrester or a long kissing scene – we immediately know their feelings just by the way they look at each other.   

The movie follows the basic outline of the H.G. Wells novel; in many ways, it is more indebted to Orson Welles 1938 radio adaptation than Wells’ novel. The novel was written in 1898 and set in the Victorian Era, which means that, in the novel, the world militaries were handcuffed by the artillery at time (their cannons and armed forces are no match for the Martian invasion). The movie raises the stakes of the novel – the walking tripods in the H.G. Wells novel are technical marvels, but they are vulnerable – the military manages to down a tripod. In the 1953 adaptation, the flying warships are indestructible – even the H-bomb proves to be useless against them (the warships protect themselves with a force field).  The most unnerving aspect of the 1953 version is that the Earth’s best efforts are just not good enough against the Martians.  Dr. Forrester rightly guesses that the only way to beat the Martians is by waging biological warfare against them, but their hopes are dashed after a violent mob hijacks Forrester’s truck that contains all the materials necessary to combat the Martians.  

There is fun reference to the Orson Welles’ 1938 radio adaptation – there is a scene where a reporter is interviewing scientists at the crash site and then we are shown a montage of random people listening to his broadcast on the radio.  The movie went into production in 1952 and while television was beginning to catch on with the masses, there was still a good chunk of the population that still listened to, and got their news from, the radio. I also think that, in 1952, the studios might have been hesitant to show television sets in their movies, out of fear that it might encourage moviegoers to go out and buy one. “Why am I sitting in this stuffy movie theater when I can be at home watching I Love Lucy?”

A recurring theme of many science fiction movies of the 1950s was science vs. the military. The good intentioned scientists often wanted to contact the extra-terrestrials, believing that such contact might be beneficial to mankind, while the military usually wanted to destroy the damn things.  In The Thing from Another World, Dr. Carrington wants to make contact the Thing, while ignoring its every growing body count, and Captain Hendry wants to destroy it. Captain Hendry is the movie's hero, and his intuitions prove to be correct. In The Day the Earth Stood Still, Klaatu wants to deliver an important message to the world, but it is the military that stands in his way. His main allies are prominent scientists, who eagerly want to hear what he has to say. This conflict doesn’t exist in The War of the Worlds, instead the scientists are working with the military to stop the Martian invasion. Dr. Forrester is even good friends with Major General Mann – the implication is that the two served together in World War II.

The two attempts to contact the Martians don’t come from the scientific community, but by a few misguided civilians.  The first attempt is by three rubes who have been assigned to watch the cylinder (at this point the town believes it is a meteor) and when a hatch on the cylinder unscrews and a cobra-shaped periscope emerges, the three men unanimously decide to offer it their hand in friendship. When asked what they should say to the Martians, one of them quips, “Welcome to California.”  They walk towards the periscope brandishing a white flag and shout, “WE’RE FRIENDS!”  Unfortunately, the Martians reject their generous gift of friendship, and they are blasted into oblivion by the Martian's Death Ray.  A similar scene happens in the novel, but it doesn’t have the same impact – in the novel, everything is told in matter-of-fact manner (it’s told from a first-person perspective) and when the three men get vaporized, you don’t feel anything because they were so ill defined. In the novel, the narrator witnesses this violent act from a far, while in the movie we are in the middle of the horror. When the three rubes get blasted, the camera is stationed directly behind them. You learn just enough about these three men that when they meet their end it has an actual impact.  They are well-meaning morons who come to undeserved ends. They are also a progressive bunch (for 1953) – one of them is a Mexican who is a BFF to the two white dudes.  It’s really an inspirational moment – until they get turned to dust by those diabolical Martians.

The second attempt comes from Sylvia’s uncle, Pastor Collins, who walks towards the War Machines quoting Psalm 23:4 while hold out his bible. He is hoping to reach these invaders from the red planet but is also willing to give up his life. He ends up dying a martyr. A more modern take would be to turn Pastor Collins into an unhinged religious fanatic who believes the Martian invasion is God’s judgement on mankind. He would be doing everything he could to aid the Martians, like sabotaging all scientific and military attempts at ending the invasion. I like the fact that Pastor Collins is a genuinely decent man whose good intentions cost him his life. He also immediately takes a liking to Dr. Forrester, even though they inhabit two different worlds – again, a modern movie would strawman him into being anti-science and labelling Dr. Forrester as a “servant of Satan.” 

The movie does an excellent job of building suspense – the first fifteen minutes (after the brief prologue) are lighthearted in tone– after the “meteor” crashes the meadow, the towns people talk about turning it into a tourist attraction – one of them suggests they should put up concession stands around it.  When Pastor Collins suggests they put up picnic tables, one of the ill-fated rubes interjects, “No! Then they will bring their own food.”  However, their dream of monetizing the meteor is dashed they learn it is radioactive.  Still, none of this really phases the townspeople and they go about their daily business – they even have a square dance (which is an accurate description, because these are some of the biggest squares you will ever see dancing). Dr. Forrester, however, enjoys himself and even cracks a few dad jokes.  It becomes deadly serious when the hatch on the cylinder unscrews, and the Death Ray emerges to lay waste to area. It isn’t until about twenty-five minutes in that we are given a good look at the Martian Warships.  In the novel, the Martian Warships were tripods that stomped across the countryside, in the movie, they are swan-shaped vehicles that eerily glide over the landscape, casually destroying anyone/anything that is in their path. There are a few prints out there where the wires suspending the Warships are noticeable – Joe Dante, in the commentary track, explains that the film was originally shot in Three Strip Technicolor, which gave the film a softer look and, as a result, the wires were invisible. In the lates 1960s, the film was reprinted in Eastman Color and the quality of the effects suffered as a result. The print that is currently available on Amazon Prime is of higher quality and the wires are only noticeable in a couple of shots.

In the novel the Martians look like octopuses and the Earth’s gravity affects their movements – they are reduced to a crawl. The movie opts for a more unusual design – the Martians are shaped like a T, have a wormy texture, and their eye is in the middle of the shoulder area.  Their eye also has three lenses (red, blue, and green) and stereoscopic vision.  They also have long arms and suctions on their fingertips. The movie, wisely, only gives us a brief glimpse at the Martians – we see one of them briefly in the farmhouse after it grabs Sylvia by the shoulder (one of the most iconic moments in 1950s science fiction). A lady scientist aptly describes the Martians, they are mental giants, but physically still very primitive – they look like something that has just crawled out of the primordial ooze. It is interesting to note that Ray Harryhausen did test footage for his own adaptation of The War of the Worlds, and his Martian design was faithful to the novel.  The movie was scrapped but the test footage is readily available.  Three years later, Harryhausen got to make his own alien invasion movie with Earth vs. the Flying Saucers. 

One of the lost arts of movie making is the lighting – in The War of the Worlds, the filmmakers use a colorful palette to paint their canvas. The most efficient effect shot in the entire movie is a Martian’s death scene - after the Warship crashes into a building, the hatch on the bottom opens and we see a Martian’s arm reaching out for one last gasp.  The use of lighting in this moment is extraordinary – the Martian’s arm is initially bathed in red light and then the light turns green, signifying the Martian’s death. It’s a simple, and economical, shot but it is very effective. It is also quite a poignant moment – the Martian has mastered technology far beyond our understanding, and has traveled over 140 million miles, only to be killed by Earth’s bacteria. This is a huge oversight on their part – you would think that an advanced species would have included potential germs/viruses in their calculations and worn hazmat suits while walking on the surface. It’s like how in Independence Day the aliens are technologically advanced but never created anti-virus software. 

The movie implies that it is not the bacteria that killed the Martians but, rather, divine intervention. It is no coincidence that Martian Warship crashes seconds after destroying a stained-glass church window. The movie even ends on an “AMEN!” Modern audiences might roll their eyes at this moment, but in 1953 the country was overwhelming Christian, so the spiritual aspect is not too surprising. Not to mention that Cecil B. DeMille was an uncredited producer on the film and his movies were often long-winded sermons. It never really bugged me because, to be honest, the divine intervention ending is no worse than “killed by bacteria.”  They both are cop outs.

It should be noted that, in 1988, there was a War of the Worlds television series that was a follow up to the 1953 movie. The TV series owes more to Invasion of the Body Snatchers than H.G. Wells; the aliens take over the bodies of human beings to further their agenda unnoticed.  The aliens were no longer from Mars but Mor-Tax. They also were given a catchphrase – whenever they greeted each other they would utter, “To life immortal.”  The show was gory for the time – there is one episode where an alien rips off a hockey player’s arm and then skates around the ice ring clutching the man’s arm. It was also a very bleak show – half of the cast’s members were killed off by the end of season one.  I was such a huge fan of the movie that when I learned they were making a spin-off TV series, I was elated.
“THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME,” I shouted seconds before the premiere. Then I watched the actual show and was disappointed. The design of the aliens was slightly modified – they now had one, demonic looking, red eye and there were no longer suctions on their fingertips. The Martian Warships only make an appearance at the end of the pilot episode – the main characters commodore one that is in storage and use it repel the invaders.  I haven’t seen it in over thirty years, so it could be one of the shows that improves with age. It could be, but I doubt it.

Cast: Gene Barry (Dr. Clayton Forrester), Ann Robinson (Sylvia Van Buren), Les Tremayne (Maj. Gen. Mann), Robert Cornthwaite (Dr. Pryor), Sandro Giglio (Dr. Bilderback), Lewis Martin (Pastor Dr. Matthew Collins), William Phipps (Wash Perry), Houseley Stevenson, Jr. (Gen. Mann’s Aide), Vernon Rich (Col. Ralph Heffner), Jack Kruschen (Salvatore), Paul Birch (Alonzo Hogue), Vernon Rich (Col. Ralph Heffner), Paul Frees (Second Radio Operator/Opening Announcer), Henry Brandon (Cop at Crash Site), Cedric Hardwicke (commentary  - voice). 

Director: Byron Haskin
Writers: Barre^’ Lyndon. Based off the novel by H.G. Wells
Running Time:  85 minutes.