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Showing posts with label Phoebe Cates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Phoebe Cates. Show all posts

Friday, September 2, 2016

Gremlins (1984)






In 1984, Gremlins defied expectations by grossing 148 million dollars at the box office, despite going up against heavy competition like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Ghostbusters. It was a highly controversial movie in its initial release – many critics were appalled by the onscreen violence. This was also a concern for some of the movie’s supporters; Roger Ebert, in his three-star review, wrote this about the infamous microwave scene, “I had a queasy feeling that before long we’d be reading newspaper stories about kids who went home and tried the same thing with the family cat.” It was this graphic moment and the heart ripping scene in Temple of Doom that led to the creation of the PG-13 rating; many parents went into expecting to see a family movie and where absolutely shocked when it turned violent in the second half.  The marketing for Gremlins focused largely on how cute Gizmo was, thus misleading people into believing they would be watching an E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial knock off.  Joe Dante, in the Gremlins commentary, relates a story about how a mother walked out of a screening, with her daughter in tow, and complained to the theatre manager about the horrific violence. The little girl, of course, wasn’t at all fazed by the violence and wanted to watch the movie. The original script, by Chris Columbus, was a much darker movie: the mother is beheaded by Stripe; the family dog is eaten; and it is Gizmo who turns into Stripe. It was producer Steven Spielberg and Joe Dante who decided to lighten the tone, which is what makes it a truly unique experience. If Gremlins was a straight horror movie, it would have died quickly at the box office. If Joe Dante would have been merely content in aping E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, the movie would have faded into obscurity. 

Gremlins is an interesting movie because of how it constantly shifts gears; it begins as a cute family comedy, then turns into a pure horror movie, and finally settles into cartoonish anarchy. The Gremlins are interesting creatures – they are not so much evil as they are mischievous. They begin life as cute and furry Mogwai, and then metamorphose (which only occurs if they are fed after midnight) into green, reptilian-like creatures that have an appetite for destruction. They leader of the group, Stripe, with his white Mohawk often resembles a Muppet version of punk rock singer, Billy Idol.  They even have a similar scowl. 



At first, the Gremlins are your typical monster movie menace; the scene where the science teacher Mr. Hanson tries to lure a Gremlin out from underneath his desk with a candy bar is a genuinely scary. The creature is kept off screen entire time – its presence is established through sound effects and footsteps.  While many critics complained about the violence, Mr. Hanson’s demise is left to our imaginations.  As the movie progresses, the Gremlins become less monstrous and more cartoonish parodies of mankind. They appropriate mankind’s worst qualities:  they drink; chain smoke; play cards; one of them flashes Kate in the bar; and they are willing to harm one another just for a cheap laugh.  It is also interesting that they begin to dress up like humans; one of them is wearing Mickey Mouse ears during a screening of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Stripe survives the movie theatre explosion, because his craving for Milk Duds takes him to the department store next door.  Even Gizmo, our furry protagonist, isn’t immune to the consumer culture; he becomes enamored with the television and drives a pink Barbie corvette at the movie’s climax. 



The other criticism of Gremlins is that Zach Galligan is a pretty bland lead. This isn’t entirely false; Galligan doesn’t exactly radiate onscreen charisma (Phoebe Cates fares much better). However, I believe this actually works in the movie’s favor, because Billy Peltzer is an unremarkable guy: he is a scruffy bank teller; lives in his parents’ attic; his best friend is his pet dog; and he harbors a crush on his pretty co-worker, Kate, but is too shy to make a move.  He believes Kate is out of his league; this is understandable considering that Gerald, the bank manager, also has designs on her.  A better and more charismatic actor would not work in this role; it’s easy to believe Galligan’s Billy having confidence issues, but that would not be the case with a more established actor. Billy has an agreeable personality, but he’s not exactly the prettiest contestant in the pageant.  If you were a social misfit in high school, then it is incredibly easy to relate to Billy. While Zach Galligan isn’t a great actor, I do like the moment when Billy finally works up the nerve to ask Kate out; Galligan plays this to absolute perfection - he hesitates a bit before uttering the word, "date."



Phoebe Cates is, essentially, the Jessica Alba of the 1980s – an actress of limited range but with an agreeable screen presence. She really isn’t given much to for the first two thirds of the movie, except look absolutely adorable.  She does this to absolute perfection; it is easy to understand why Billy would have a massive crush on Kate.  Who wouldn’t?  Like Galligan, she is able to come through in the clutch when the filmmakers need her to; I am, of course, talking about the famous scene in which Kate reveals why she hates Christmas (Her dad dressed up like Santa and broke his neck while attempting to go down the chimney). This scene was greatly controversial; the studio heads wanted to cut it because they felt it was in bad taste. Joe Dante liked it because of how ambivalent the audiences’ reactions were to it. How would you respond to such a story? On one hand, it is so ridiculous to the point of being comical. On the other hand, this is clearly a painful memory for Kate and it’s easy to feel bad for her.  Cates is a limited actress, but she is spot on in this scene; there is not a hint of irony in her performance, she plays it with absolute sincerity.  I rather like the character of Kate, largely because she has a fairly cool head on her shoulders; like how she is able to buy time while serving a bar full of Gremlins.  She does an occasional scream, but she doesn’t turn into a quivering pile of Jell-O, either.  It’s also interesting to see a more traditional female role given a slightly darker edge; she hates Christmas and even snaps at Billy when he begins to question her about it.  I like Gremlins 2, but Kate often gets lost in the mix in that movie.  



While the Spielberg influence is there (he was an executive producer), Gremlins is unmistakably a Joe Dante movie: the movie is loaded with cinematic in jokes (Lew Landers, a character from Dante’s previous movie, The Howling, appears on the television at the end); Dante’s stable of actors appear in small roles (Dick Miller as Futterman, Belinda Balaski as Mrs. Harris, and Kenneth Tobey as the Gas Station Attendant); and his brand of dark humor is on full display in this “family picture” (the demise of the miserly Mrs. Deagle is one of the highlights).  There is still a debate as to who was the real director of Poltergeist: Steven Spielberg or Tobe Hooper?  This is not the case with Gremlins. 

Gremlins is also an affectionate spoof of the science fiction/horror movies of the 1950s. It has fun sending up the tropes; The Gremlins hatching from their pods is very reminiscent of the scene in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, when replicates burst out from their pods.  There is usually a scene in 1950s horror where the young protagonist runs to police chief and tries to warn him about the terror that is heading their way, and the police chief responds by kicking our hero out of his office.  In Gremlins, Billy tries to warn Sheriff Frank about the onslaught of monsters that are about to ravage Kingston Falls, but, naturally, the sheriff doesn’t believe him (even after having met Gizmo).  A similar scene happens in The Goonies, when Chunk calls the police and tries to get their help. It’s also interesting because that scene references Gremlins; the officer on the phone starts listing all the pranks Chunk has pulled in the past and then mentions, “Just like that last prank about all those little creatures that multiply when you throw water on them.” Both scripts were written by Chris Columbus, so it's not that surprising. 

Credits
Cast: Zach Galligan (Billy Peltzer), Phoebe Cates (Kate), Hoyt Axton (Rand Peltzer), Frances Lee McCain (Lynn Peltzter), Polly Holliday (Mrs. Deagle), Glynn Turman (Mr. Hanson), Dick Miller (Mr. Futterman), Scott Brady (Sheriff Frank), Keye Luke (Mr. Wing), Corey Feldman (Pete), Judge Reinhold (Gerald), Jackie Joseph (Mrs. Futterman), Edward Arnold (Mr. Corben),  Belinda Balaski (Mrs. Harris), Jonathan Banks (Deputy), John Louie (Chinese Boy), Harry Carey, Jr. (Mr. Anderson),  James MacKrell (Lew Landers), Chuck Jones (Mr. Jones), Don Steele (Rockin’ Ricky Rialto),  William Schallert (Father Bartlett), Kenneth Tobey (Gas Station Attendant),Howie Mandel (voice of Gizmo), Frank Welker (voice of Stripe/Mogwai/Gremlins).

Director: Joe Dante
Screenplay: Chris Columbus
Running Time: 106 min.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) With Special Guest Reviewer: Metalman




(Note: The opinions in this review are solely those of Metalman and don’t necessarily reflect those of this blog. Parental Discretion is advised. To fully appreciate the review read it in a monotone voice.)

When Brain asked me to do a review for his blog, I was fairly hesitant for two reasons:

1) My movie knowledge is fairly limited. I rarely go to the movies and only own a handful of them. I'm just a simple janitor at a grocery store, or I was a simple janitor until those f**king idiot managers promoted me to supervisor. I don't know why they did that! I sure as hell didn't ask for it. Now I'm in charge of the third shift crew and I hate them all. How I miss scrubbing and waxing the floors. It was my passion, nay my purpose in life. Every once in a while when the managers aren't around, I will take the scrubber for a little spin around the store. It's the only time I'm truly at peace. 

2)  I’m not familiar with the internet or, for that matter, computers.  The last time I went on a computer was when I played the Oregon Trail in the fifth grade. I mean, it’s been ages.  In fact, one time at work the subject of computer games came up and I asked my extremely hot 20 year-old co-worker if she ever played the Oregon Trail and she just gave me a blank stare.  It was an awkward moment. I tried to explain it to her, but she just didn't get it. What a dumb bitch! I mean, c'mon. If she wasn't hot, I wouldn't give her the time of day. Well, maybe I would. 

This didn't faze Brain in the least. He told me to write my review in long hand and he would type it up for me. He kept insisting that I share my “unique” film views with the rest of the internet. I agreed, but I made him promise not to alter a single word of my review. I didn't want him to litter it with big college words that no one understands or correct any grammar errors. He may be doing the typing, but it’s my review and I want to recognize it as such.  He agreed and we shook on it. (Editor's note: This review is only half it's original length as Metalman's handwriting was pretty incomprehensible at times.) Oh, in case you were wondering, the reason I'm called Metalman is due to my love for metal music, specifically hair metal music. I love it. It's the f**king best! I remember one time my girlfriend...er I mean landlady and I went to a Quiet Riot concert in Chicago and I got so wasted. It was so METAL!  

It was fairly easy for me to decide which movie I was going to review and that was Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Why?  Because it’s only the greatest f**king movie of all time!!!! That, and it’s one of the few titles that I actually own on VHS. No one is ever going to convince me that DVD is better. I mean, what’s not to like about Fast Times? I remember starting my first day of high school and hoping it would be everything that Fast Times was, only to be disappointed by year’s end.  I remember I set my sights on hot blonde in my class. I figured that if Mark Ratner could hook up with Stacy Hamilton, then certainly I could score with someone that was better looking. I, mean, just look at Mark Ratner for a second. 


NEEERRRRRRRDDD!!!!  And yet, he was able to hook up with an absolute hottie like Stacy. It boggles the mind. I mean, just look at her for a minute.


 Now, go back and look at the picture of Mark. See, what I'm saying? A nerd like that has no business talking to girl like that let a lone dating her. Anyways, I figured that since I was,and still am, a better looking guy than Mark  it would be a matter of days, if not hours, before I was banging this hot blonde.  So I walked up to her and was like, "Hey, bitch! Wanna have sex?" You know what she did? She kicked me in the nuts. WHAT THE HELL?! I made several other attempts at trying to get her in the sack, but she just gave me the cold shoulder.  I even formed a rock band called Unskinny Bop as a way of getting her attention . We were a Motley Crew cover band and all I can say is that we really blew people away.....all night and day. Ha Ha! Get it?  (Editor’s note:  If you didn't know already, “Unskinny Bop” is a Poison song. I kept trying to tell Metalman this, but he wouldn't listen and kept insisting that, “I know my Motley Crüe.”Apparently not, Metalman.)  We seemed to be destined for great things, we played Port Washington’s Fish Day, but that all changed when our f**king bassist left the band to go college. MORON!!!!  Where was I again? Oh yes, the review!  

Fast Times at Ridgemont High is what I wish my time at high school would have been like.  Now, I really don’t have the time nor the patience to write an entire review, so instead I will just list my favorite moments in the movie.  I may not be a movie critic, but I do know what I like.

1)  I especially like….no, love, when the ultra babe Linda Barrett takes off her red bikini top. If you have seen the movie, then you know what I'm talking about. I mean, look at her damn it. JUST LOOK.......



I can’t say I blame Brad one bit for fapping off to her. WOOOOOOW! I would have done the exact same thing. In fact, I did do the exact same thing. One time my mom actually walked in on me and  I shouted, just like Brad in the movie, "Doesn't anyone f**king knock any more?"  I actually wore out my first VHS copy of this  movie by watching this scene over and over again.  It's one of the all time great movie moments. Thank you, Phoebe Cates.  However, that David Bowie song on the soundtrack is kind of lame. 
(Editor's note: The song is "Moving In Stereo" by The Cars and it rules.) 

2) I always laugh when Spicoli orders a pizza while still in the classroom. Spicoli is my hero, I strive to be exactly like him. I mean, he's so cool. I remember I tried to copy Spicoli once by sneaking a piece of pizza from the school cafeteria into my classroom, but by the the time I got there it was all cold. Totally not worth the effort. I thought about ordering a pizza, but I didn't have a cell phone on me. LAME!!!!



3) I always cheer when Brad mouths off to the rude customer. I always lose it when he screams, "Mister, if you don't shut up I'm gonna kick one hundred percent of your ass." I wish I had such courage. Sure, it may cost Brad his job at the fast food joint but at least he went down swinging. Plus, that customer was a total ass bag.

4. (Editor's note: I could not make out what number four was. The writing  was completely illegible  Though, it did end with the sentence, "I really need a cigarette right now." Metalman can't go thirty minutes without a cigarette so it doesn't surprise me that he would write this down. As for what I could read, well, I'm quite certain that he was talking about Weird Science. This is was the most coherent part of the entire paragraph, ".....two nerds use computer..........babe."  

5. Is there a greater ending to movie than Brad taking out the mugger by throwing a hot pot of coffee in his face? I don't think so. I've seen this movie over 100 times and I always applaud this ending. It's f**king AMAZING! Even better is that Spicoli is there to witness Brad's heroism and shouts,"Awesome. Totally awesome."  I have known many people that didn't like this movie (IDIOTS) but found this ending absolutely hilarious. Need I say more. I think not.


(Editor's note: I agree with Metalman whole heartedly on this point. The ending to Fast Times at Ridgemont is, as Spicoli would put it, "Totally awesome." Special Thanks to Metalman for offering his unique perspective on an 80s classic.) 

Credits
Cast: Sean Penn (Jeff Spicoli), Jennifer Jason Leigh (Stacy Hamilton), Judge Reinhold (Brad Hamilton), Robert Romanus (Mark Domane), Brian Backer (Mark "Rat" Ratner), Phoebe Cates (Linda Barrett), Ray Walston (Mr. Hand), Scott Thomson (Arnold), Vincent Schiavelli (Mr. Vargas), Amanda Wyss (Lisa), D.W. Brown (Ron Johnson), Forrest Whitaker (Charles Jefferson), Eric Stolz (Stoner Bud), Anthony Edwards (Stoner Bud), Nicolas Cage (Brad's Bud), Stanley Davis, Jr. (Jefferson's Brother).

Director: Amy Heckerling
Screenplay: Cameron Crowe.
Running Time: 92 min. 

Snow White's Revenge/Scandal (2024)

  It is difficult to write about Snow White’s Revenge without bringing up the ending, so readers beware, this review will contain spoilers...