At The Movies with Bryan, the Wannabe Filmmaker

THE DISTRACTION THEORY: Or, the Jessica Alba Theory of Distraction When a filmmaker casts an incredibly hot, but limited actress, in hopes that her goods look will be will be enough of a distraction from the film's overall crappiness. This is what usually happens: a producer receives a shitty script for an upcoming blockbuster, but rather than try to improve the script he decides he'll cast the current "It" girl in hopes that her hotness can gloss over the movie's many flaws. The best example is in 2005 when 20th Century Fox released the horrible Fantastic Four adaptation. The filmmakers knew the script was garbage, but rather than make an attempt at rewriting it, they opted instead to cast Jessica Alba as Sue Storm/Invisible Woman solely for the fact that she was topping a lot of 100 Sexiest lists. This casting made absolutely no sense as Alba looked nothing like Sue Storm from the comics; but hot damn she is one good looking dish. To make sure the male goi

The Girls on the Beach ? What kind of sleazy soft-core porn is this and why would you want to review it on a family friendly website? Calm down my friends! For you are mistaken about two things: 1.This isn't a family friend website 2.Girls on the Beach is not a sleazy soft-core porn, but rather an obscure Beach movie made in the 60s. How obscure? It’s so obscure that it doesn't even have its own entry on Wikipedia. This is really sad, considering that similarly inept, but far less enjoyable Wild Wild Winter does. If the film is remembered, it’s for an appearance by the Beach Boys and the three musical numbers they perform throughout the film. The ironic thing is that despite showcasing the Beach Boys, the films plot focuses around a sorority trying to get the Beatles to play at their fundraiser. This is ironic, because the Beatles for all intensive purposes put an end to surfing music and were essentially the Beach Boys number one rivals at the time. Imagine you’re t