The 10 Most (Unintentionally) Hilarious “Documentaries” Ever Made.

1) Overlords of the UFO (1976)

Dir: G. Brook Stanford
One of the most insane pieces of film making ever committed to celluloid. It’s really hard to describe Overlords of the UFO, because it rarely makes any sense.  There is a five minute section devoted to show casing Uri Geller’s amazing “psychic” abilities; he bends a couple of keys and restarts a couple of watches. How does this relate to the subject of UFOS?  Well, apparently Geller witnessed a UFO a few years earlier. There are very little facts on display, but endless speculation which we are assured is “some of the best.”

 Here are just some of the highlights:

1) A simulated conversation between to airline pilots as they discuss UFOs. This is achieved through stock footage of an airplane and voice overs.

2) Footage of an obviously fake UFO trailing after a commercial airliner.

3) The Uri Geller sequence.

4) A letter from NASA that reads, "It is not in our charter to investigate the UFO."

5) The Space Voyage From Ummo sequence. Supposedly, an alien race from the planet Ummo contacted a select few people on Earth. 

2) The Incredible Discovery of Noah’s Ark (1993)

Dir: Henning Schlerrup
One of the funniest programs ever broadcasted on network television, The Incredible Discovery of Noah’s Ark is hosted by an overly enthusiastic Darren McGavin, as he, with entire array of biblical scholars and eye witnesses, prove once and for all that Noah’s Ark is real and that it lies on top of Mt. Ararat in Turkey. The viewers are treated to some awe-inspiring re-enactment of Noah and his family as they build the ark, and by “awe-inspiring” I mean laugh inducing, as I have seen high school plays with better production values than this program.  It is all incredibly cheap looking with horrible make up and extremely stiff performances.

 This “documentary” made headlines when it was revealed that one of its main witnesses, Charles Jammal, was a hoaxer. In his eye witness testimony, Jammal recounts he discovered the Ark with a friend and the plans they had in store once they got back to civilization, but all that was dashed when his best friend plummeted to his death, while trying to get a better picture of the Ark.  He carelessly took one too many steps backwards and fell to his death. Distraught, Jammal couldn’t go through with the plans, but he did take a piece of the Ark as a souvenir.  It was later revealed that this souvenir was, in fact, a piece of wood soaked in teriyaki sauce and baked in an oven to give it an ancient look. As history, The Incredible Discovery of Noah’s Ark is pure rubbish, as a comedy, it’s one of the best.

3) Bigfoot: Man or Beast? (1975)

Dir: Lawrence Crowley
I haven’t actually seen this documentary in many years, but there are also two things that always stuck out to me:
1) The annoying harmonica soundtrack. Whenever there is a driving sequence, the filmmakers will blare this on the soundtrack hoping that it will quicken the pace; instead it is more likely to give you a splitting head ache.

2) All of the “exciting” things occur off camera. This is a recurring trend in this movie: an expedition member will talk about how they saw something in the woods, while the camera was recording something else; usually two other members as they argue about what their next move should be. 

There is also the usual gallery of eye witnesses; one lady claims that she used to play catch with Bigfoot. The viewer is constantly teased into believing something exciting is about to happen, only to have their hopes completely deflated. The movie ends with the expedition having to pack up due to a huge forest fire. Nothing is achieved!  Bigfoot: Man or Beasts? is the precursor to such modern documentaries like Monster Quest and Finding Bigfoot.  These shows are the ultimate form of ballyhoo; they promise something big, but always disappoint. Monster Quest, despite its hype and flashy CGI recreations, always ends on an anti-climactic note; a Cryptozoologist will turn to camera and say, “Just because we didn't find evidence of Bigfoot, it doesn't mean he’s not real.”

4) Star Wars: The Magic and the Mystery (1997)

Dir: Thomas C. Grane
This special aired on FOX in 1997 to promote the upcoming re-release of Stars Wars. It was also the first sign that George Lucas had completely lost his mind; this is when he unleashed the special editions onto the unsuspecting world. It's a nice piece of propaganda that assures  Stars Wars faithful that they will absolutely LOVE the new additions Lucas has made. Everyone kisses George Lucas's ass!!!  The only time anything negative is uttered is to express just how lame the original Star Wars was. 

However, none of that can compare to the hilariously stiff narration provided by Howie Long. In the opening, Long tells the viewer how excited he is that Star Wars is back in the theatres. Sure you are, Howie! Long strikes me as the kind of guy that habitually beat up on Star Wars fans back in the heyday (He was in high school when the first one came out). I can just picture a young Howie Long giving a swirly to an awkward teenager wearing a Luke Skywalker T-shirt. You’re not fooling any one, Howie!   Still, the sight of him struggling to read cue cards is truly a sight to behold.  “Twenty years ago….Star Wars swept..the..country….”

5) The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972)

Dir: Charles B. Pierce
It might not be fair to include The Legend of Boggy Creek on this list because, unlike Bigfoot: Man or Beast?, it never really sets out to prove the existence of the Fouke monster (The Skunk Ape), but rather recount the numerous sighting of the creature throughout the decades.  There is no pointless expedition to find the beast, just lots of cheesy re-enactments for our viewing pleasure.  However, since it is told in a documentary like fashion (interviews, re-enactments), it is definitely deserving of our derision, especially once it was revealed that the interviewees in the film are really actors playing local townsfolk. Oddly enough, there are some genuinely effective moments in the film; like the Fouke Monster laying siege to two teenage girls in a trailer house.  On the other hand, it also has one of the funniest moments in horror history; the Fouke Monster trying to get at a guy, decked in long johns, on the toilet.  The camera lingers on the outside of the house for a few seconds; the man's head is framed though a window as he does his business.  Suddenly, a hairy hand pops into frame and knocks the window out of its frame, thus scaring the poor guy completely shitless, and I mean that in a literal sense. The hillbilly pulls up his long johns and tumbles out of the bathroom.

6) Mysteries of the Ancient World (1994)

Dir: Doug Campbell

The kind of documentary that asks a lot of questions, but doesn't offer up a single answer, Mysteries of the Ancient World tackles four distinct subjects:  The Pyramids of Giza, Nostradamus, The Bermuda Triangle, and the Shroud of Turin, and completely poo poos the scientific community.  For instance, Mysteries of the Ancient World, advocates the idea that it was ancient aliens (in this case, martians) that built the pyramids, while casually dismissing the claims of Egyptologists, you know, people that actually spent their entire careers studying Ancient Egypt.  The ancient alien proponents are given significantly more screen time than traditional scholars and presented in much more favorable light; the interview with the sole Egyptologist is edited in a such way that she comes off as completely stubborn and closed minded.  Whenever, we see her dismiss other possible theories, we naturally want to see her get knocked off her high horse. The documentary gives the appearance of being balanced in its opinions, yet the Egyptologist is never given any real opportunity to present her case. Darren McGavin (why?) once again is given hosting duties and does them in a remarkably efficient and straight faced manner.  

7-10) Ancient Prophecies I-IV (1994 -1996) 

Dir: Graeme Whifler
 A dour David McCallum warns us that, “time may be running out,” and various people from all walks of life share their visions about the upcoming apocalypse.  From 1994 to 1997, NBC aired four Ancient Prophecies specials to cash in on the “Y2K” trend.  Most of the “prophets” that are interviewed all point to the year 2000 as being a pivotal moment in human history. The predictions range from the vague (“Earthquakes will hit the west coast.”) to the ridiculously absurd (“Atlantis will rise up out of the ocean.”) It wouldn’t be an ancient prophecies documentary without a reference to the most famous prophet of them all, Nostradamus. Naturally, the “experts” on his writings all offer up their interpretations as to what he has to say about the future and, not too surprisingly, they are in a complete disagreement. It’s amazing how Nostradamus predictions only make sense after the fact, but that is a different article altogether.   What I find amazing about this documentary is this: not a single one of these psychics that were interviewed predicted 9/11 and the war on terror. These psychics pride themselves on their ability to forecast the future, yet none of these interviewees were able to predict one of the greatest disasters in United States history.  Amazing!  

Batman (1943)

What is Ming the Merciless doing in a Batman movie? Playing a gun toting miner, of course. This is one of many surprises that pop up in the 1943 movie serial Batman.  Ming was played by the great character actor, Charles Middleton, and it’s rather amusing to see him in a rather incidental role as opposed to the main villain (which was his specialty). He turns up just long enough to be blown up in a mine explosion.                

Batman was the first screen adaptation of the comic book and, as a result, it’s a rather raw take on the character; he is not the dark, brooding vigilante that we know today, but rather a fairly jovial and extremely fallible super hero.  In the Christopher Nolan adaptations, Batman is able take out the villain’s henchmen without breaking a sweat, but in this serial he is constantly getting his ass handed to him. The biggest flaw of this Batman is that he is pure impulse; he almost never takes the time to scope out the area and strategize a plan for capturing the villains. Instead, he just rushes head first into a room and naturally assumes that he can handle the situation on his own. It would certainly be beneficial for him to know how many men are in a room, or where the villains have hidden Linda Page, his supposed fiancée.  He is completely oblivious to the dangers that are in store for him and is too reliant on Robin to bail him out. This is a typical scene: Batman and Robin spot one of Daka’s lackeys walking into the building. Batman runs in after him and gets knocked out for his efforts. The lackeys leave Batman to his grisly fate, Robin arrives just in the nick of time to save him. It is amazing in a serial titled Batman that Robin is the one who ends up saving the day. 

That’s right; Batman isn't allowed to be the hero in his first screen appearance. It is a rather baffling decision on the part of writers and the director. Who wants to watch a movie where Robin triumphs at the end? The answer: NO ONE. Of course, I can only speak for myself, as a kid I absolutely loathed the character of Robin and hated how he compromised the sheer awesomeness of Batman. Why is The Dark Knight hanging around with this annoying little bastard? Granted, Robin in this serial (as portrayed by Douglas Croft) is not nearly as abrasive as Burt Ward’s interpretation in the sixties television series, but still, he does grow a bit tiresome as the story progresses.  

It should also be noted that Batman’s code of not killing is nowhere to be found in this film. In fact, the film has a fairly high body count; Daka loses almost half of his henchmen due to Batman’s interference. Though, most of the deaths are an indirect consequence of Batman's actions. There is, however, a scene in which Batman knocks out two men in the back of an armored car and makes no attempt to save them as it goes careening off a cliff. Though, this was fairly common place in the Batman comic books at the time, as well. There’s actually one story, “Dr. Hugo Strange and the Mutant Monsters,” where Batman hangs one of Strange’s creations at the climax. 

Lewis Wilson was the first actor (and still the youngest) to play Batman on the big screen and his casting is a double edged sword; he makes for a terrific Bruce Wayne. He looks uncannily like the Bruce Wayne in the comic books at the time.  There is also a fun section in the serial in which he disguises himself as a hoodlum, Chuck White, so he can infiltrate Daka’s criminal underworld. Wilson is absolutely a joy to watch in these moments; his Bruce Wayne is a rather lazy and foppish fellow, and is largely played for laughs.

Unfortunately, once he dons the cape and cowl, our suspension of disbelief evaporates right in front of our eyes. Wilson was a handsome actor, but a model for physical fitness he was not. It doesn’t help that he’s laden with a chintzy costume that accentuates his flabby physique. This is one case where adding fake muscles to the costume would have greatly benefited the actor. Though, it does help explain why Batman is constantly getting owned by puny henchmen…well, except for at the serial’s climax when he has no problem handling a group of them. 

 Wilson would retire from acting at a fairly young age and, reportedly, was complete embarrassment by his involvement in this serial. It is too bad as he gives, despite his paunch belly, a rather lively performance.  He may lack the intensity (and the ripped physique) of Christian Bale, but he’s a lot more fun to watch.

J. Carrol Naish hams it up as the sadistic villain, Prince Daka. This serial was made during the height of World War II, so it’s not too surprising that its main villain is mad Japanese doctor out to control the world. It is a fairly xenophobic piece of work and it’s filled with all kinds of racial slurs; in the serial’s opening the narrator refers to Japanese people as being “shifty eyed” and when Linda Page meets Daka for the first time, she exclaims in sheer terror, “A Jap!”  These scenes are fairly uncomfortable for modern day viewers, though they are so ridiculously over the top that it’s hard to take them seriously.  Daka has developed a machine that can transform people into super strong zombies that obey only his commands, yet he only uses it on two elderly gentlemen and Linda Page. He is about to brainwash Batman, but Robin intervenes.  His main goal is to get his hands on a supply of radium that he needs to power his super ray gun. He also has a colorful way of disposing of his enemies; dropping them into a pit of alligators.  Hmmmm…I wonder if that is somehow going to play a part in his demise?  Also, in a fairly clever touch, Daka’s layer is hidden inside a House of Horrors.

Shirley Patterson is a beautiful actress and does what the script asks of her, which isn’t very much. The character of Linda Page is a fairly useless and forgettable; her main function is to get captured so Batman can rescue her.  In fact, her engagement to Bruce Wayne comes off as an afterthought; it isn’t until Chapter 13 that it is revealed she is his fiancée.  Up until this revelation, it is never made clear what their relationship is to one another. How does she know Bruce?  Half of the time, Linda seems to have the utmost contempt for Bruce Wayne and his “leisurely” lifestyle. Why the hell would she agree to marry such a guy? When her character isn't stumbling into trouble, she is nowhere to be seen.  The whole fiancée subplot is totally contrived and doesn't feel natural to the overall story line; Linda and Bruce are engaged because the script demands it.  Interestingly enough, Patterson, using the name of Shawn Smith, would experience her greatest success in the fifties, starring in the Universal thriller, The Land Unknown, and the cult classic, It! The Terror From Beyond Space.

Douglas Croft is probably the best realized screen Robin; it helps that he is actually the right age. Robin is an irritating character, but Croft makes the most of the material he is given. It is to his credit that you don’t roll your eyes ever time Robin utters a line.  Hell, at least he is of actual use to Batman as opposed to other incarnations of Robin, whom mainly just got in the way.  Croft, sadly, passed away at the young age of 37. 

Batman is far from being a great piece of cinema and, especially when compared to the action films of today, it is often extremely corny and dated. Yet, part of its charm is that it offers the modern day a viewer a glimpse into the world (and mindset) of 1943. It may not overwhelm you, but it moves along at a fairly fast pace (thanks to Lambert Hillyer’s efficient direction) and is actually more tightly plotted that most movie serials from the time period. It is definitely worth a look as a piece of nostalgia. Also, it is more beneficial to watch it over the course of a couple of days, instead in one sitting; it will seem far less redundant.

Credits

Cast: Lewis Wilson (Bruce Wayne/Chuck White/Batman), Douglas Croft (Dick Grayson/Robin), J. Carrol Naish (Prince Daka), Shirley Patterson (Linda Page), William Austin (Alfred), Charles Middleton (Ken Colton), Charles C. Wilson (Police Captain Arnold).

Director: Lambert Hillyer
Screenplay: Victor McLeod, Leslie Swabacker, Harry L. Fraser. Based off the comic book character by Bob Kane. 

Running Time: 260 min [15 episodes]

The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965)

I am not a religious person, yet I absolute enjoy biblical epics.  There are two primary reasons for this:

1)      Nostalgia. I grew up in a Christian home and watching The Ten Commandments and Ben-Hur was an Easter tradition in my family. The Ten Commandments had far greater appeal for me as a kid, because it was the more colorful of the two movies. 

2)      Spectacle.  Biblical epics are rarely great pieces of art, in fact, for all their moralizing they tend to be a bit hollow. The really appeal in these films in this the spectacle on display; the exotic locations, huge sets, big casts, and, most important of all, the larger than life characters. Biblical epics are essentially super hero movies set in ancient times - the only difference is that instead of taking on colorful supervillains, the protagonists in these films are often pitted against tyrannical rulers.  In The Ten Commandments, it was Moses vs. Rameses. In Ben-Hur, it was Judah Ben-Hur  vs. the Roman Massala. And in The Greatest Story Ever Told, it is Jesus vs. well just about everyone.  

The Greatest Story Ever Told was not the first movie to chronicle the life of Jesus, Cecil B. DeMille directed The King of Kings in 1927, nor is it even the best, Franco Zeffirelli’s mini-series Jesus of Nazareth and the DeMille movie are vastly superior, but it is arguably the most compelling movie out of the bunch, largely due to all the talent both in front and behind the camera.  It was directed by a top flight filmmaker in George Stevens, who had helmed such classics like Gunga Din, A Place in the Sun, Giant, and The Diary of Anne Frank. It was Stevens goal to create the definitive version of the life of Jesus by doing it in a straight forward manner; earlier adaptations were usually laden with unnecessary subplots (Nicholas Ray’s King of Kings), or Jesus was usually a supporting character and the film revolved around how he affected a change in the main character (Ben-Hur, The Robe).  The DeMille film, as entertaining as it is, surprisingly omits some of the more memorable aspects of the Jesus story line; it glosses over the virgin birth, there is no nativity scene, and the character of John the Baptist is nowhere to be found.  Stevens wanted to make his adaptation as authentic as possible; he drew his main inspiration from the scriptures themselves. 

The greatest strength of the earlier adaptations was their ability to condense the gospels into a cohesive narrative; unfortunately, this does not apply to The Greatest Story Ever Told. It is often a muddled and, for what was a very personal project, aloof in its presentation.  It is a beautiful movie to look at (not surprising since Stevens began his career as a cameraman) but it’s an extremely overpopulated film - it is often too busy playing “spot the star” that, as a result, many crucial characterizations suffer because they are not given room to breathe.  This is the biggest criticism that is leveled against The Greatest Story Ever Told; it’s all star cast often has the effect of negating an entire scene. Take the crucifixion scene:  Stevens effectively depicts the darkest moments in history by very subtly turning the sky dark; the scene is done one long take. What should be very sad moment and touching moment is reduced to unintended comedy when you a hear John Wayne (he plays a Roman Centurion) drawl on the soundtrack, “Truly this man was the son of God.”  It completely takes you out of the scene and undermines the mood that Stevens so effectively captured on film. 

This is problem that plagues the entire film, because a lot of the big name actors don’t really have a role to play, they are just there to be seen.  On other hand, some of the stunt casting is surprisingly effective, especially Charlton Heston as the prophet, John the Baptist. At this point in his career, Heston had already played Moses and, even though he won an Oscar for Ben-Hur, it was (and still is) his most signature role, and it is clear that Stevens had this in mind when he cast Heston in the role of John the Baptist. While Heston is playing John the Baptist, we as an audience see it more as Moses handing the reins over to Jesus (Max von Sydow). It is a scene that plays on the audience’s familiarity with Heston’s earlier films and it works extraordinarily well. 

Other performance that I like: Donald Pleasance is sufficiently creepy as Satan.  Sal Mineo is extremely convincing as Uriah, the cripple that Jesus heals.  Joseph Schildkraut brings a lot of warmth to the character of Nicodemus, a member of the Sanhedrin who is sympathetic to Jesus’ cause. Interestingly enough, Schildkraut played Judas in DeMille’s The King of Kings. He was effectively slimy in that film, while in The Greatest Story Ever Told, he is beacon of kindness. Gary Raymond is fairly effective as Peter, especially in the scene in which he denies Christ three times before the “cock crows.”  Best of all is Jose Ferrer as the decadent rule Herod Antipas, the man who has John the Baptist beheaded. The acting, overall, is fairly efficient; the main problem is that a lot of performances get lost in the shuffle.  For example, Roddy McDowall is a good actor, but he’s absolutely wasted in the role of the Matthew. He makes a pretty strong impression in his first scene and then is promptly forgotten about. David McCallum is miscast as Judas, but gives it his all. The problem is that film never really offers a convincing explanation as to why Judas would betray Jesus; it happens in a blink of an eye. Dorothy McGuire is a good actress, but she’s a poor choice for the role of the Virgin Mary. She certainly isn’t helped by the script; she has no dialogue and is relegated to a piece of scenery. Stevens could have easily replaced her with a wax sculpture and no one would be any the wiser.

Max von Sydow was certainly an odd choice to play the role of Jesus, but he is pretty effective in the role, though his Jesus is often a very distant character; lacking the warmth that H.B. Warner and Robert Powell managed to bring to the role.  His most effective moment is when he sheds a tear after he is confronted by Martha, the sister of Lazarus. Lazarus has just died and Martha wonders how Jesus could be neglectful towards a friend, while jumping to the aid of complete strangers. It is one of the few effective moments in the film; Jesus is at a complete loss for words, sheds a tear, and then proceeds to resurrect Lazarus. 

As spectacle The Greatest Story Ever Told in, indeed, a sight to behold. Its visuals are beautiful to look at and even awe-inspiring at times.  My favorite scene being: the camera gives us a bird’s eye view of Jerusalem and then, through a series of dissolves, tracks over to a remote spot in the desert where John the Baptist is baptizing new converts while preaching the word of God.  It’s an extremely effective transition and offers up a nice way to introduce a new character to the story. The other moment that stands out is the resurrection of Lazarus; Stevens doesn't actually show the resurrection itself, but rather focuses on the witnesses to the event and how it effects them.  We are shown close ups of different spectators, then three of them (Uriah, Old Aram, and Bar Amand) take off to inform the people of the miracle that had just witnessed.

Yet, as effective as The Greatest Story Ever Told is as spectacle, it is absolutely falls flat in the dramatic department. It is, surprisingly, uninvolving at times, especially in the first half hour. The problem I have with the film is that there really is no character the audience can empathize with; the characters of Mary and Joseph are so poorly defined that it’s really hard to care about their plight. Stevens is banking on the audience’s familiarity with the Gospels and is hoping they will fill in the blanks, essentially he is saying, “To hell with character development.”  The film tells us very little about the actual characters, but we’re supposed to care about them because the Bible tells us so.  It’s interesting to compare The Greatest Story Ever Told to the much superior Jesus of Nazareth; they are similar in a few respects, both are directed by acclaimed filmmakers and feature an all star cast, but the latter is a much more moving experience (despite its six hour length), because Franco Zeffirelli actually takes the time to develop the characters. The first hour of the movie is devoted to the characters of Joseph and Mary. The audience genuinely fears for their safety, because the film has given us their back story.  Plus, it also helps that Yorgo Voyagis gives a likable and compassionate performance as Joseph.  Robert Loggia, on the other hand, mutters a few lines and then disappears from the movie.

This is the extent of Robert Loggia's performance. 

George Stevens, very curiously, uses very little closes up in the entire movie; almost everything is done in long shots and extended takes. This works extremely well in crowd scenes, like in the crucifixion and the Last Supper, but becomes a hindrance during smaller, more dramatic scenes that are cluttered with dialogue. It’s often hard to make out who is doing the talking. For instance, the scene in which Jesus heals a leper woman (Shelley Winters) is an epic failure, because:

1)      We have no idea who the woman is until she proclaims, “I’m cured!”  There is nothing to distinguish her from the rest of the crowd, Jesus just happens to bump into her and the next thing you know she is praising him aloud.

2)      Jesus’s reaction to the miracle is one of complete indifference. He tells the lady that her faith has cured and the goes on his way.

The Greatest Story Ever Told should be the kind of film that elicits tears and applause from the audience, instead we kind of just shrug our shoulders and say, “That was okay.”  The Greatest Ever Told is on par with sitting in the nose bleeds seats of heavily hyped sporting event. At first you are revved to be there, but very soon boredom settles in because you can't tell what is going on in the game. Occasionally something exciting will happen, but then the doldrums set back in. It is not a complete waste of your time, but given the talent involved, it should have been phenomenal.  

Credits

Cast: Max von Sydow (Jesus), Charlton Heston (John the Baptist), Dorothy McGuire (The Virgin Mary), Jose Ferrer (Herod Antipas), Gary Raymond (Peter),  David McCallum (Judas), Martin Landau (Caiaphas), Telly Savalas (Pontius Pilate), Sal Mineo (Uriah), Joanna Dunham (Mary Magdalene), Victor Buono (Sarak), Donald Pleasance (The Dark Hermit-Satan), Ina Balin (Martha of Bethany), Janet Margolin (Mary of Bethany), Michael Tolan (Lazarus), Michael Anderson, Jr. (James the Younger), Joseph Schildkraut (Nicodemus), Van Heflin (Bar Amand), Ed Wynn (Old Aram), Claude Rains (King Herod),Robert Loggia (Joseph), John Considine (John), Roddy McDowall (Matthew), Sidney Poitier (Simon of Cyrene), Angela Lansbury (Claudia),  Abraham Sofaer (Joseph of Arimathaea), Robert Blake (Simon the zealot), Jamie Farr (Thaddeus), Paul Stewart (Questor), John Wayne (Roman at crucifixion), Shelley Winters (Woman who is healed), Nehemiah Persoff (Shemiah), Carroll Baker (Veronica), Richard Conte (Barrabas), Pat Boone (Angel at tomb), Russell Johnson (Scribe), Frank Silvera (Caspar).

Director: George Stevens
Screenplay: James Lee Barrett, George Stevens, Carl Sandburg (uncredited).
Running Time:  199 min. 

The Mummy (1999)

How does Stephen Sommers manage to get quality actors to star in his movies? This is a question that has often puzzled me. Sommers is, at best, a poor man's Steven Spielberg. It is clear he has spent a lot of his time studying Spielberg's movies, but has learned very little from them. The Mummy is one of those rare films where an excellent cast is able to salvage a ridiculous screenplay and make it immensely entertaining. In fact, the cast is so good that they often make  Sommers look like a competent director. It's no coincidence that the The Mummy is the best (and only good) movie Sommers ever made.

The Mummy is a remake of the 1932 classic starring the great Boris Karloff, but whereas that film was a tragic, supernatural romance, Sommers' version is an adventure film in the vein of Indiana Jones. There is tons of action, but very little scares.  In fact, the weakest aspect of the film is the mummy itself, as played by Arnold Vosloo. Vosloo actually has a pretty good screen presence, but he isn't really given much to do until the last half hour of the film. Unfortunately for a significant portion of the film, the mummy is brought to life with extremely unconvincing CGI. A lot of time was spent on designing the look of the mummy, but in the end it looks more like an Altered Beast  reject than an actual movie villain.

There are a couple of odd decisions that Sommers makes in his screenplay, like how Imhotep's resurrection could, in essence, bring about the end of the world. In the 1999 film, Imhotep's resurrection brings about plagues on the Egyptian people, escalating in them being covered with boils and turned into mindless zombies controlled by Imhotep. You can argue that it ups the stakes, but it's rather silly plot device that the characters essentially shrug off.  In fact, The Mummy's biggest asset, its quirky sense of humor, is often its biggest drawback as well; it's hard to develop any sense of urgency when your  lead characters are constantly cracking jokes and remain in high spirits the entire time. I was also never able to buy that Imhotep would mistake Evelyn for a reincarnation of Anck-Su-Namun, largely for the fact that the two look nothing alike. It also doesn't help that in the sequel, The Mummy Returns, Sommers completely negates this plot point by having Meela, the real reincarnation of Anck-Su-Namum, showing up and, even more inexplicably, revealing that Evelyn is actually the reincarnation of Seti's daughter. 

The 1932 film, as well as the 1959 Hammer remake, were much more limited in their scope; neither Imhotep (Boris Karloff) nor Kharis (Christopher Lee in the remake) wanted to bring about the end of the world, they were motivated by love and loyalty; Imhotep wants to be reunited with his long lost love Ankh-es-en-Amon while Kharis seeks to punish those they have defiled the tomb of princess Ananka.  Kharis is aided in his revenge by the fez wearing Mehemmet Bey, a member of a religious sect that has made it their mission to protect the tomb of Ananka. It's interesting to note that the 1959 film is more of a reworking of Universal Mummy films from the 40s (The Mummy's Hand, The Mummy's Tomb, The Mummy's Ghost, and The Mummy's Curse) than the Karloff original. In each successive film, the mummy of Kharis (played by Tom Tyler in the first film, Lon Chaney, Jr. in the sequels) sets about murdering those responsible for opening the tomb of Ananka and is abetted by a fez wearing cultist; his journeys take him from the sands of Egypt to the swamps of Louisiana. 

In fact, Sommers' movie owes a greater debt to the The Mummy's Hand than it does to the Karloff original.  The Mummy's Hand begins on a flashback set in Ancient Egypt and shows how Kharis attempted to resurrect his beloved Ananka, only to be punished for his efforts. Sommers begins his movie in a similar fashion; Imhotep is having an affair with Anck-Su-Namun, the mistress of Pharaoh Seti I. It comes to an abrupt end when Seti wises up to their love and is then stabbed to death by both of them. Imhotep flees, while Anck-Su-Namun commits suicide. Imhotep's attempt to resurrect her are interrupted by Seti's guards and he is buried alive with fleshing eating scarabs. 

The original 1932  movie begins with an archaeological expedition, lead by Sir Joseph Whemple, discovering Imhotep's mummy. While Sir Joseph and his friend, Dr. Muller, are outside having a discussion, Whemple's impatient assistant reads from the Scroll of Thoth and revives Imhotep; this encounter with the living mummy drives him insane and it is later revealed  that he died laughing in an asylum. It's a nice bit of understated direction by Karl Freund; Imhotep is never actually shown rising from his sarcophagus, instead his resurrection is hinted at by a small glint in his eyes and slight movement of his right arm. This is in direct contrast to the fire and brimstone that signals Imhotep's revival in the 1999 remake. 

In The Mummy's Hand there's a secret cult trying to protect the secret of Ananka's tomb, one of their members happens to be Professor Andoheb, curator of the Cairo Museum. When an expedition led by archaeologist Steve Banning sets out to find Ananka's tomb, Andoheb, by burning tana leaves, resurrects Kharis and orders him to kill members of the party. Sommers does a slight variation of the plot in his remake; the Madjei are a religious order devoted to keeping the location of Hamunaptra (where Imhotep attempted to resurrect Anck-Su-Namum) secret; one of them happens to be Dr. Terrance Bey, curator of the Cairo Museum. The Medjai, however, are actually good guys and their leader, Ardeth Bay, aids Rick and Evelyn in defeating Imhotep. In the Karloff version, Imhotep (in the guise of Ardeth Bay) actually helps Frank Whemple (Sir Joseph's son) find the tomb of Ankh-es-en-Amon. The idea of a mummy exacting his revenge on those that defiled his beloved princess' tomb is taken from The Mummy's Hand. In the 1932 movie, Imhotep only kills those who stand in the way of him being reunited with Ankh-es-en-Amon; he is a much more sympathetic character than Kharis in the four Universal films (and Hammer remake) and Imhotep in the remake. In his remake, Stephen Sommers essentially took the character of Imhotep and injected him with steroids; he is extremely buffed and dispatches of his victims by sucking the life force from their bodies. He can also change shapes (he turns into sand a couple of times) and control the elements of nature. 

The strongest similarity between The Mummy's Hand and 1999 remake is that they both are laden with comedy relief.  In the former,  it comes in the forms of Banning's assistant Babe Jenson and The Great Solvani, a magician who happens to be touring Egypt and agrees to fund their expedition. In the latter, it comes in the forms of the backstabbing Beni and Jonathan, Evelyn's never do well older brother.  Banning strikes up a romance with Solvani's daughter, Marta, while in the remake, Rick O' Connell, strikes up a romance with Evelyn. The romantic subplot is the one area that Sommers vastly improves on; in the original the romantic lead was the rather dull actor David Manners (who also co-starred in Dracula and The Black Cat) . Imhotep is a much more interesting character than Frank Whemple, therefore we find it frustrating that Helen (the reincarnation of Ankh-es-en-Amon) would fall for such a bore; he's a bigger stiff than Imhotep in mummy form. The romance in The Mummy's Hand feels rather forced; Marta goes from disliking Steve to falling in love with him in a span of five minutes. The romance between Rick and Evelyn, on the other hand, feels natural to the story line and is extremely believable due to the chemistry of the actors - it is easily the best part of the movie. 

I rather like The Mummy, despite Sommers' hackneyed screenplay and unimaginative direction. Whatever limitations Sommers has as a filmmaker, he some how managed to hit the jack pot with the actors he assembled for this film; Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, and John Hannah could have easily phoned in their performances and collected paycheck, but they manage to bring such warmth to their roles that we (or at least I) don't really mind that Imhotep is nowhere to be seen in the first hour (except in the prologue).  In fact, had Sommers dropped the whole Mummy angle and just focused on the misadventures of these three characters, it would probably be one of my all time favorite films. Oh well, at least it makes for an entertaining two hours.  Brendan Fraser is probably one of the most frustrating actors in movie history; he is a talented actor and can often wow you with an amazing dramatic performance (he managed to hold his own opposite Ian McKellan in Gods and Monsters) only to follow it up with a vehicle that is not worthy of his talents (Monkeybone, Dudley Do Right, etc.) It's quite a shame. Rachel Weisz is equally lovable as the slightly clumsy, but brilliant Evelyn. After Evelyn has accidentally resurrected Imhotep, she accepts full blame and makes it her goal to right her wrong. Too often summer blockbuster movies will gloss over the fact that the lead character is often to blame for everything that has gone wrong, The Mummy, on the other hand, doesn't take the easy out and holds its characters responsible. John Hannah steals the film with his comic portrayal as Jonathan, who also happens to be an exceptional pickpocket. Jonathan is probably the most interesting character in the film, he's a complete scoundrel and has never done an honest day's work in his entire life, but we suspect that underneath that somewhat slimy exterior there is a decent guy waiting to emerge. That's why the ending is extremely satisfying, because instead of giving Jonathan a "heroic" death, Sommers allows for him to survive at the end. 



Credits
Cast: Brendan Fraser (Rick O' Connell), Rachel Weisz (Evy Carnahan), John Hannah (Jonathan Carnahan), Kevin J. O' Conner (Beni), Arnold Vosloo (Imhotep), Oded Fehr (Ardeth Bey), Jonathan Hyde (Dr. Allen Chamberlain), Erick Avari (Dr. Terrence Bey), Patricia Velasquez (Anck Su Namun), Stephen Dunham (Mr. Henderson), Corey Johnston (Mr. Daniels), Tuc Watkins (Mr. Burns), Bernard Fox (Winston Havlock).

Director: Stephen Sommers.
Screenplay: Stephen Sommers.  Stephen Sommers, Lloyd Fonvielle, Kevin Jarre. (screen story)
Running Time: 125 min.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) With Special Guest Reviewer: Metalman

(Note: The opinions in this review are solely those of Metalman and don’t necessarily reflect those of this blog. Parental Discretion is advised. To fully appreciate the review read it in a monotone voice.)

When Brain asked me to do a review for his blog, I was fairly hesitant for two reasons:

1) My movie knowledge is fairly limited. I rarely go to the movies and only own a handful of them. I'm just a simple janitor at a grocery store, or I was a simple janitor until those f**king idiot managers promoted me to supervisor. I don't know why they did that! I sure as hell didn't ask for it. Now I'm in charge of the third shift crew and I hate them all. How I miss scrubbing and waxing the floors. It was my passion, nay my purpose in life. Every once in a while when the managers aren't around, I will take the scrubber for a little spin around the store. It's the only time I'm truly at peace. 

2)  I’m not familiar with the internet or, for that matter, computers.  The last time I went on a computer was when I played the Oregon Trail in the fifth grade. I mean, it’s been ages.  In fact, one time at work the subject of computer games came up and I asked my extremely hot 20 year-old co-worker if she ever played the Oregon Trail and she just gave me a blank stare.  It was an awkward moment. I tried to explain it to her, but she just didn't get it. What a dumb bitch! I mean, c'mon. If she wasn't hot, I wouldn't give her the time of day. Well, maybe I would. 

This didn't faze Brain in the least. He told me to write my review in long hand and he would type it up for me. He kept insisting that I share my “unique” film views with the rest of the internet. I agreed, but I made him promise not to alter a single word of my review. I didn't want him to litter it with big college words that no one understands or correct any grammar errors. He may be doing the typing, but it’s my review and I want to recognize it as such.  He agreed and we shook on it. (Editor's note: This review is only half it's original length as Metalman's handwriting was pretty incomprehensible at times.) Oh, in case you were wondering, the reason I'm called Metalman is due to my love for metal music, specifically hair metal music. I love it. It's the f**king best! I remember one time my girlfriend...er I mean landlady and I went to a Quiet Riot concert in Chicago and I got so wasted. It was so METAL!  

It was fairly easy for me to decide which movie I was going to review and that was Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Why?  Because it’s only the greatest f**king movie of all time!!!! That, and it’s one of the few titles that I actually own on VHS. No one is ever going to convince me that DVD is better. I mean, what’s not to like about Fast Times? I remember starting my first day of high school and hoping it would be everything that Fast Times was, only to be disappointed by year’s end.  I remember I set my sights on hot blonde in my class. I figured that if Mark Ratner could hook up with Stacy Hamilton, then certainly I could score with someone that was better looking. I, mean, just look at Mark Ratner for a second. 

NEEERRRRRRRDDD!!!!  And yet, he was able to hook up with an absolute hottie like Stacy. It boggles the mind. I mean, just look at her for a minute.

 Now, go back and look at the picture of Mark. See, what I'm saying? A nerd like that has no business talking to girl like that let a lone dating her. Anyways, I figured that since I was,and still am, a better looking guy than Mark  it would be a matter of days, if not hours, before I was banging this hot blonde.  So I walked up to her and was like, "Hey, bitch! Wanna have sex?" You know what she did? She kicked me in the nuts. WHAT THE HELL?! I made several other attempts at trying to get her in the sack, but she just gave me the cold shoulder.  I even formed a rock band called Unskinny Bop as a way of getting her attention . We were a Motley Crew cover band and all I can say is that we really blew people away.....all night and day. Ha Ha! Get it?  (Editor’s note:  If you didn't know already, “Unskinny Bop” is a Poison song. I kept trying to tell Metalman this, but he wouldn't listen and kept insisting that, “I know my Motley Crüe.”Apparently not, Metalman.)  We seemed to be destined for great things, we played Port Washington’s Fish Day, but that all changed when our f**king bassist left the band to go college. MORON!!!!  Where was I again? Oh yes, the review!  

Fast Times at Ridgemont High is what I wish my time at high school would have been like.  Now, I really don’t have the time nor the patience to write an entire review, so instead I will just list my favorite moments in the movie.  I may not be a movie critic, but I do know what I like.

1)  I especially like….no, love, when the ultra babe Linda Barrett takes off her red bikini top. If you have seen the movie, then you know what I'm talking about. I mean, look at her damn it. JUST LOOK.......

I can’t say I blame Brad one bit for fapping off to her. WOOOOOOW! I would have done the exact same thing. In fact, I did do the exact same thing. One time my mom actually walked in on me and  I shouted, just like Brad in the movie, "Doesn't anyone f**king knock any more?"  I actually wore out my first VHS copy of this  movie by watching this scene over and over again.  It's one of the all time great movie moments. Thank you, Phoebe Cates.  However, that David Bowie song on the soundtrack is kind of lame. 

(Editor's note: The song is "Moving In Stereo" by The Cars and it rules.) 

2) I always laugh when Spicoli orders a pizza while still in the classroom. Spicoli is my hero, I strive to be exactly like him. I mean, he's so cool. I remember I tried to copy Spicoli once by sneaking a piece of pizza from the school cafeteria into my classroom, but by the the time I got there it was all cold. Totally not worth the effort. I thought about ordering a pizza, but I didn't have a cell phone on me. LAME!!!!

3) I always cheer when Brad mouths off to the rude customer. I always lose it when he screams, "Mister, if you don't shut up I'm gonna kick one hundred percent of your ass." I wish I had such courage. Sure, it may cost Brad his job at the fast food joint but at least he went down swinging. Plus, that customer was a total ass bag.

4. (Editor's note: I could not make out what number four was. The writing  was completely illegible  Though, it did end with the sentence, "I really need a cigarette right now." Metalman can't go thirty minutes without a cigarette so it doesn't surprise me that he would write this down. As for what I could read, well, I'm quite certain that he was talking about Weird Science. This is was the most coherent part of the entire paragraph, ".....two nerds use computer..........babe."  

5. Is there a greater ending to movie than Brad taking out the mugger by throwing a hot pot of coffee in his face? I don't think so. I've seen this movie over 100 times and I always applaud this ending. It's f**king AMAZING! Even better is that Spicoli is there to witness Brad's heroism and shouts,"Awesome. Totally awesome."  I have known many people that didn't like this movie (IDIOTS) but found this ending absolutely hilarious. Need I say more. I think not.

(Editor's note: I agree with Metalman whole heartedly on this point. The ending to Fast Times at Ridgemont is, as Spicoli would put it, "Totally awesome." Special Thanks to Metalman for offering his unique perspective on an 80s classic.) 

Credits
Cast: Sean Penn (Jeff Spicoli), Jennifer Jason Leigh (Stacy Hamilton), Judge Reinhold (Brad Hamilton), Robert Romanus (Mark Domane), Brian Backer (Mark "Rat" Ratner), Phoebe Cates (Linda Barrett), Ray Walston (Mr. Hand), Scott Thomson (Arnold), Vincent Schiavelli (Mr. Vargas), Amanda Wyss (Lisa), D.W. Brown (Ron Johnson), Forrest Whitaker (Charles Jefferson), Eric Stolz (Stoner Bud), Anthony Edwards (Stoner Bud), Nicolas Cage (Brad's Bud), Stanley Davis, Jr. (Jefferson's Brother).

Director: Amy Heckerling
Screenplay: Cameron Crowe.
Running Time: 92 min. 

The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini (1966)

The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini is an amazing movie! It's amazing that producers Samuel Z. Arkoff and James H. Nicholson could pull together so much talent and make such a bad movie. American International Pictures (A.I.P) is often credited for being the launching pad for many prominent actors and directors (Jack Nicholson and Francis Ford Coppola, to name a few), but it was also where many actors finished their careers as well (Karloff, Rathbone, Peter Lorre, and Buster Keaton).  Therefore, it is a real curio to see Boris Karloff and  Basil Rathbone sharing the screen with former Disney star Tommy Kirk, Nancy Sinatra, Aron Kincaid, and would be starlet Susan Hart (future wife of producer Nicholson).  Karloff at least seems to be having fun in his extended cameo, while Rathbone can never shake off his embarrassment.  The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini is a disaster of movie, but like most disasters you are compelled watch, despite your better judgement.

The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini is often considered to be the last of the A.I.P Beach movies, but I think a more accurate description would be that it was a failed attempt at trying to reinvent the formula. The beach setting had out lived its usefulness, so the most logical thing was to take the party on the road. In Ski Party, our gang of lovable beach bums relocated to the slopes of Denver. In Ghost in the Invisible Bikini, the party is moved to a......haunted house. This was not the first attempt by A.I.P to meld the beach movie and horror genres; in 1965 they released Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine, which had Vincent Price co-starring with beach movie regulars Frankie Avalon and Dwayne Hickman.  It's interesting to note that Karloff, Price, and Peter Lorre all had cameos in the first three beach movies; Priced played a beatnik poet (Beach Party), Lorre, the owner of a gym(Muscle Beach Party) and Karloff, an art critic (Bikini Beach).

Not only is there a change a scenery, but a change in the cast as well. It is apparent that A.I.P was hoping that a different cast of characters would breathe life into the tired formula; the only returning character is Harvey Lembeck's dimwitted motorcyclist, Eric Von Zipper. Tommy Kirk and Deborah Walley are given the Frankie and Annette roles, while Aron Kincaid is given the role of the dopey party goer; a role usually reserved for Jody McCrea. The problem is that there really isn't a central character that the audience can relate to. Who is the main character in The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini?  In theory, Chuck (Tommy Kirk) should be the main character, but he is off screen for significant portions of the film and often takes a backseat to  Bobby's (Aron Kincaid) histrionics. The previous films centered around Frankie and Annette's often turbulent relationship; you may not necessarily like the characters, but at least there was a solid framework to hang the story on. The budding romance between Chuck and Lili (Deborah Walley) seems like an afterthought on the part of the filmmakers. When Lili first meets Chuck she is a bit apprehensive towards him, but changes her tune at the flip of a switch. Chuck and Lili's romance should be the heart of the film, but the film makers abandon it to make way for nonstop rock n' roll numbers and "hilarious" slapstick comedy. Walley isn't really given much to do, except play the damsel in distress at the film's climax.

The same flaw applies towards the Bobby/ Vicki story line. Vicki (Nancy Sinatra), for some inexplicable reason, hopes to spark a romance with Bobby, but he has wandering eyes. This nearly costs Bobby his life as the woman he keeps drooling over, Sinistra, is a would be a murderer. Luckily for him, her eye sight is extremely poor and instead of offing him, she ends up destroying a knight's armor and a bust of Julius Caesar.  This subplot takes up the entire midsection the film, only to be forgotten in the last half hour. This is a recurring theme in  The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini, a character or story line will be introduced, only to be discarded later on. It is an extremely overcrowded film. Other than continuity, why bring back Eric Von Zipper? He doesn't really add anything to the proceedings. In the previous films he was the main villain, or at least tried to be, in this film he is a helpless bystander.

If IMDB and Wikipedia are correct, then the scenes with Karloff and Susan Hart were added after principle photography had finished, thus adding more unnecessary characters into the mix. Boris Karloff plays a Hiram Stokely, a recently deceased carnival man who has 24 hours to do one good deed if he wants to enter heaven. The catch is that he must do it from the confines of his crypt, so he sends down Cecily (the title character) to make sure his heirs (Chuck, Lili, and the eccentric Myrtle Forbush) get their rightful share of his fortune. His shady lawyer, Reginald Ripper (Basil Rathbone), hopes to scare away Hiram's beneficiaries, so he can keep the inheritance for himself. This is the movie's plot, but again, the film doesn't treat this story line with any real sense of urgency. Even worse is the fact that Cecily, despite being a ghost and being able to go unobserved, is pretty useless for the most part. She, on occasion, will play practical jokes on Ripper, but she rarely lifts a finger to help the protagonists; at least for the first 75 minutes of the movie. Cecily will often pop into frame (she is tinted blue for a ghostly effect), mug it up for a few seconds, and then promptly disappear.

At the film's climax, when Lili is in danger of being cut in half by a buzz saw (while tied to a log), Cecily stands in the corner and screams at Chuck to save her. Why doesn't Cecily stop the buzz saw herself?  She does dispose of Reginald Ripper by jamming his gun with her finger, but that could have easily been avoided had she acted a lot sooner.  The filmmakers try to imply that she is influencing the movement of the characters by having her whisper stuff in their ears; at one point she pops into frame and tells Vicki to wear a bikini, because it will get Bobby's attention. This idea never comes off as well as it should, mainly due to the poor execution of the gag;  a character will often be in mid sentence when the film suddenly freezes, just then Cecily materializes into frame and whispers something into his/her ear. After having dispensed her advice, Cecily abruptly disappears, the film resumes, and the character will repeat what Cecily just said. It happens a couple of times throughout the film, but it's only real function is to make Susan Hart's role seem bigger than it actually is.

The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini is a complete mess of a film, but it's a beautiful mess; the cinematography by Stanley Cortez is extremely first rate. It's a shame that his talents were wasted on an extremely silly film like this.  He creates a genuinely spooky atmosphere, especially during Sinistra's musical number in which she seemingly melts into the shadows. The musical numbers themselves are pretty forgettable, though I do have a soft spot for the song "Geronimo," performed by Nancy Sinatra. It's not a great song, but it is rather catchy. Plus, forgettable rock n' roll songs were a staple in the beach movies, so why should The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini prove to be the exception?

Other things I like about The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini:

1) The double act of Tommy Kirk and Aron Kincaid is fairly funny at times; Kirk is such a bland actor that he perfectly balances out Kincaid's over zealous performance. The problem is that the film only pairs them together for a few scenes, thus wasting a potentially funny comedy team. Their scenes together play like a mini-remake of the wax museum scene in Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein; Kincaid is the scaredy cat, while Kirk tries to be the voice of reason. However, just Lou Costello in the earlier film, Kincaid's fears are justified. I rather like Aron Kincaid, he's a fairly energetic and fun performer to watch. He also later voiced Killer Croc on Batman: The Animated Series; that alone makes him awesome.

2) The opening scene with Hiram and Cecily is fairly amusing and often funny, especially when she drops the bomb that he is dead. Karloff is pretty adept at comedy, so is Susan Hart for that matter (she is genuinely funny in Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine as the bikini clad fembot). There's great interplay between the two actors that it's a shame that it amounts to very little as this scene is pretty disconnected from rest of the movie.

Interesting piece of trivia: the opening shot of the film (of Cecily in a red hood walking through a cemetery) was lifted from the Vincent  Price/ Roger Corman thriller The Haunted Palace. A.I.P was known for it's an extreme cheapness and would often lift footage from their previous films to pad out the running time of their latest release.

3) Nancy Sinatra is by no means a good actress, but she has a likable screen presence. You almost  care about the plight of Vicki....I say almost, because the character completely vanishes in the movie's second half. Though, she is in the final shot of the film; her and Bobby are dancing and having a groovy time, when all of a sudden Cecily materializes into frame. Bobby goes in for a kiss, but Cecily disappears. Bobby and Vicki shrug if off and resume their dancing. Fade to black. The end.

4) The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini maybe one of the earliest postmodern films in that the characters are constantly acknowledging the fact that they are in a movie. In one scene, Eric Von Zipper and his gang spot Reginald Ripper entering a secret passage and Zipper remarks that he looks like "Sherlock Holmes." The movie film will often cut back to Karloff commenting on the action as if he is a member of the audience; he's watching events unfold from a crystal ball inside his crypt.

There a plenty of amusing moments in the movie, but for every good idea there are, at least, two bad ones. It's an extremely disjointed picture that could have been easily improved in the editing room, or if they had taken the time to rewrite the script. Instead of adding more characters, they should have written a few out of the script. Buster Keaton was originally slated to played Chief Chicken Father, but, sadly, passed away before filming began. The filmmakers, rather than write out the character, decided to recast the role with
Benny Rubin and let's just say he doesn't hold a candle to the Great Stone Face.

Credits
Cast:  Boris Karloff (Hiram Stokely - The Corpse), Susan Hart (Cecily - The Ghost), Tommy Kirk (Chuck Phillips), Aron Kincaid (Bobby), Basil Rathbone (Reginald Ripper), Deborah Walley (Lili Morton), Nancy Sinatra (Vicki), Patsy Kelly (Myrtle Forbush), Harvey Lembeck (Eric Von Zipper), Jesse White (J. Sinister Hulk), Quinn O' Hara (Sinistra), Bobbi Shaw (Princess Yolanda), Benny Rubin (Chicken Feather), Francis X. Bushman (Malcolm), Piccola Pupa (Herself), Andy Romano (J.D.), Albert Nelson (Puss), Myrna Ross (Boots), The Bobby Fuller Four (themselves).

Director: Don Weis
Screenplay: Louis M. Heyward, Elwood Ullman.
Running Time: 83 min.